A question about the allowance.

In My 30s, New Member Since this is the kind of site it is, discussing the allowance is only natural. I don’t think there’s anything rude about the woman bringing it up first. One reason a man might invite you on a second date without discussing the allowance in detail could be that he wants the second date to go beyond dinner, but is worried that if he brings up the terms beforehand, she might turn down anything after dinner before the date even happens. Since he’s already invited her on a second date, it could feel awkward to be rejected for anything after dinner and then still have a dinner-only date. That may be why he finds it difficult to bring up first. In any case, if there’s going to be a second date, it means the man is interested in her. So I think it’s perfectly fine for the woman to bring up the terms without holding back, and there are probably quite a few men who would actually appreciate that. That said, I do think the man should be the one to bring it up first. That’s the kind of meeting this is, after all.

I’m Saito, a column writer♪ How much consideration was given for transportation expenses on your first date? It would be awful if a man wanted to see you simply because he thought he could get away with spending less. I think the best approach is to ask about it together with everyone else.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > Are there actually people like this? I hear about it fairly often, so it seems there are quite a few. However, from a man’s perspective, an allowance is something paid when entering into an adult relationship (intimate). So I imagine they may feel it’s difficult to bring up the allowance until things have developed into a good atmosphere and the other person has agreed. Some people may also think it’s inappropriate to discuss an allowance before the other person has agreed to anything. Since you’re currently at the stage where he’s inviting you out, I think it would have been important to first confirm whether you would receive the same transportation expenses as the first time, even if you simply had dinner and went your separate ways afterward. You could still ask about it now. However, if you do so by text, he might misunderstand and think you’re only interested in dinner, so if possible, I recommend confirming it through a direct conversation, such as a LINE call. If there’s any misunderstanding during a conversation, you can immediately clarify that it wasn’t what you meant. If he invites you to an adult relationship (intimate) after dinner next time, you can ask about the terms of the arrangement then. If you would rather know the terms from the outset, it’s fine to ask about them now. If you lose interest and cancel at the last minute, that would inconvenience him as well. For now, I recommend creating a situation where you’re looking forward to seeing him and genuinely enjoy meeting him.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I’m not sure what kind of date you have planned, but if a second date has been arranged, you should go through with it. Please don’t agree to a date and then cancel at the last minute or suddenly stop responding. What you’re worried about is the allowance. You need to confirm the allowance with your partner. Ideally, you should do so before the date. Once you’ve reached an agreement, I think you can simply enjoy the date. There are various ways to bring it up, but in this case, I think it’s best to ask directly: “Um, in this situation, how much allowance were you thinking?” Perhaps she doesn’t know how to bring it up herself. Perhaps she knows exactly what’s expected and is pretending not to. Or perhaps she wants a relationship without an allowance. It seems best to establish your own position clearly and ask her directly. Another option is to “take a chance” on her. However, that takes some resolve. You could go on the date without bringing it up and see what happens: no allowance means goodbye, while an agreed allowance means continuing the relationship. The choice is yours. I hope you have an enjoyable date.

Aizawa from the Event Team at East Customer Loyalty Group here. Are you asking about the allowance once you start seeing each other? It can feel awkward to bring up money, can’t it… You may be worried that it could ruin the great atmosphere you’ve built, but please be brave and ask—both to avoid feeling uncomfortable and to protect yourself. Some men have said that they prefer to decide the terms of the arrangement clearly via LINE or another messaging app before meeting for the second time. That way, they can simply enjoy the date without having to discuss money on the day. You could try asking something like, “I’d like us to focus on enjoying ourselves when we meet, so why don’t we agree in advance on any terms that either of us might be uncomfortable with?”

I’m Seattle, a male member. Unless he simply forgot, that’s strange. For the first meeting, it should be 0.5 to 1. When you meet him a second time, ask about it yourself if he doesn’t bring it up. If he’s a man you’re not particularly interested in, it’s fine to ask about the allowance before meeting him. If he doesn’t give you a clear answer, decline and leave feedback with Universe Club saying that he doesn’t even provide transportation money.