I’ve met a woman three times, and I somehow sense a level of wariness from her that I’ve never felt from other women. I can’t think of anything I’ve done that would make her wary; there’s no adult relationship (intimate)—we only go out for meals. Would giving her my business card and revealing my identity be an effective way to build a good relationship?

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I agree with Mr. Maezawa’s way of thinking here. I assume you’re probably the kind of person who says, “That’s as far as we go, okay?”

I’m Saito, the column writer♪ Are you wary of continuing the relationship after dinner? Some women are, of course, but they seem to relax and become more open over time. On the other hand, I’m curious about women who remain extremely guarded. As everyone else has said, I think you should be a little more discreet about handing out your business card.

I’m Rula, a male UC member and a member of the new salon. I think you should be a little more careful about handing over your business card. In my experience, after meeting someone around three times, they’ll often gradually open up and seem less guarded. They may tell you their real name, or even the company they work for. Of course, I also gradually share an appropriate amount of my own personal information to keep things balanced. In the situation described, it’s possible that the woman has noticed something she doesn’t particularly like about the questioner—something he himself hasn’t noticed—and may simply want to keep her distance. Handing her your business card out of the blue in that situation could actually backfire. If she’s being guarded not because she doesn’t know your identity or background, but simply because she doesn’t feel that compatible with you, receiving your business card may only leave her wondering how to deal with it. For example, imagine a couple who have just started dating. The woman seems to be keeping some distance and appears wary. What would happen if the man said: “I want you to see how serious I am! Look, I brought a marriage registration form. That’s how serious I am!! Trust me!” and handed her the document? Wouldn’t she just be put off? There’s nothing wrong with giving someone your business card at a dating club, and I’ve done it myself. But handing it over with an attitude of, “Here’s my business card. Now you know exactly who I am, so you can feel safe,” comes across much like the example above, and I don’t think it’s a good idea. Rather than focusing on whether or not to give her your business card, I recommend first making an effort to ease her wariness through communication—conversation, messages, or perhaps even becoming intimate once.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. I get the impression that she’s naturally the cautious type. If you’re able to enjoy spending time together over dinner alone, I don’t think anything will change even if you give her your business card, so I see no reason why you can’t continue seeing her as you have been. It’s also possible that she’s wary of being invited somewhere after dinner, but you won’t know unless you casually bring up the subject.