Do men who aren’t financially well-off also want to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?

I’m Saito, a column writer♪ Yes, I think there are quite a lot of them. There also seem to be surprisingly many papas who don’t provide any allowance, and some women even say they don’t need money. You might think, “What about men who are struggling financially...?” but I think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has simply become more casual. And I think the women involved have become more casual as well. That’s the good and bad that Universe, the company that created papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), has brought about. Why not break things off quickly and help him realize it? I also think you’d be better off seeing someone with more financial leeway. > A man who doesn’t have much money and can’t make a woman happy Please be a kindhearted woman so you don’t end up being someone who can only attract men like that.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. This question is right in my wheelhouse, so I’m happy to answer. First: “Do men who aren’t financially well-off still want to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?” I think some men do want to do papa-katsu even if they don’t have much money to spare. However, as Nonta-san pointed out, papa-katsu does cost a fair amount in practice, so men who can’t afford it won’t be able to participate. In the end, I think it comes down to how much you’re willing—or able—to spend. That varies from person to person. As with anything, I feel that the view you get to see changes depending on how much money you put into it. After all, the man you’re seeing is basically saying, “Isn’t this view nice?” or “Please make do with this view.” (lol) If you feel something is off, you could try telling him, “I’d like to see a different view, though…” Whether he responds, “I understand. In that case…” or “That’s impossible!” depends on him. If he says, “That’s impossible!”, I feel it would be best to say, “I want to see a different view,” and move on.

I’m BB7, a male member. Could the reason you feel uncomfortable be that you associate papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with wealthy men keeping mistresses? Even if not to that extent, perhaps you imagine financially comfortable men giving women a luxurious experience. I think most men are probably like that, but I also believe there are men on Universe who do papa-katsu in a more casual, dating-app-like way. That man may have registered simply because he wanted to meet women casually, without any deeper intentions. So when a woman like you is looking for a luxurious experience and a man is looking for an easy way to meet women, as if using a dating app, it can result in a mismatch and leave both people feeling uncomfortable. He seems to be covering your transportation costs, so he isn’t actually breaking any rules. Some women probably wouldn’t mind going to a cheap izakaya either. If you’re looking for a luxurious experience that includes dining, then this is a complete mismatch. I think it would be best to tell him that you don’t feel you’re a good fit and end things. A mismatch in financial values is one of the most common reasons for ending even ordinary relationships or marriages. It would be amusing if he were actually wealthy and was deliberately pretending to be stingy or choosing cheap restaurants. I’ve been getting a little bored with ordinary dating myself, so I’ve even thought about trying something like that（笑).

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. > Is it really possible for a man to want to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) even though he doesn’t have much money to spare and can’t make women happy? Men who want to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) despite not having much money are pretty common. If he can’t make women happy, then the arrangement isn’t really working—but he probably mistakenly believes that he is making her happy. > I’m also unsure how to bring up breaking things off. First, I think you should tell him what you want. For example, tell him that you’d like him to take you to this kind of restaurant instead of an izakaya, or that you’d like to eat a particular type of food. Then you can say, “If our next date is at an izakaya again, I’ll have to decline.” That might encourage him to take you somewhere you’d actually like to go next time. If he feels that’s not possible, then the relationship will probably end there. By the way, saying something vague like “somewhere around this kind of place” won’t get the message across. Tell him the specific name of the restaurant. If reservations are required, you may need to let him know that as well. You may not want to go that far, but people who only take their dates to izakayas probably don’t really understand these things. Perhaps we’ve entered an era where women can teach men the basics of dating clubs. Once he understands, he’ll probably start looking for those kinds of restaurants himself and taking you there.