Assuming she’s listed as Type C, if I make an offer and she tells me on the first date that she always limits the first meeting to coffee or a meal, can I file a complaint as a problem and get the arrangement fee refunded?

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ Apparently, the topic that comes up most often at women’s gatherings is: “How can I turn him down without making him realize why—and without making him dislike me?” Rather than taking everything at face value, it may be more natural to think about the hidden intention behind her words, like Mr. Maezawa’s response. “She doesn’t think I’m a great guy, so she’s not interested. But she’s trying to figure out how to turn me down without hurting my feelings…” It’s easier on you if you assume that’s what she really means. There are also men who occasionally ask for their money back in situations like that, but I think that’s difficult. Once you let go of that way of thinking, you’ll feel much more at ease.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. In my case, regardless of the relationship type, I’ve always kept the first meeting to dinner only (no intimacy). I let them know in advance that the first meeting will be dinner only. We meet, see if we’re comfortable with each other, and if we both feel it’s a good match, we each take some time to think things over before meeting again. That’s how I let the relationship develop more seriously. I haven’t met many people who were new to dating arrangements, but no one has ever turned down a dinner-only first meeting, so I’ve been able to approach things without any awkwardness.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office will answer as well. First, try to consider how a woman feels when she turns someone down. How do you think she can refuse without causing offense? No woman is going to say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t because I don’t like the way you look.” (Some might, but a woman with ordinary common sense generally wouldn’t.) So, to avoid upsetting the other person, she ends up making an excuse. The easiest excuse to use is something like: “I always make the first meeting tea or dinner only.” In reality, she may have an adult relationship with other men from the start and receive positive feedback from them. Of course, it’s also possible that a Type B woman is actually offering Type C, so we’ll investigate. However, as we explain when you join, regardless of the outcome, the setting fee is nonrefundable.