Can you accept that the woman you’re seeing—the one you genuinely like and feel is a miraculous match—doesn’t love you as her papa? What do you do when you can’t accept it?

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I agree with Maezawa’s perspective: “Men looking for a long-term partner are probably seeking a relationship in which both people acknowledge and accept each other. However, I don’t think acknowledging each other is the same as loving each other. Even if you aren’t loved by the other person, there’s no need to be pessimistic as long as they acknowledge you. I don’t feel this is about whether you should endure it or not.”

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here. I think men looking for a long-term partner generally want a relationship where both people acknowledge and respect each other. However, being acknowledged and being loved aren’t necessarily the same thing. Even if your partner doesn’t love you, there’s no need to be pessimistic as long as they recognize and value you. I don’t think it’s really a matter of whether you should put up with it or not. Usually, people tend to think of love as something unconditional (though that may not always be true in practice). Since an allowance is involved in a dating club arrangement, I think it’s only natural for the relationship to take a different form from love. If you’re looking for love, you’re probably more likely to find what you want through a marriage agency. The usual progression seems to be: loving each other, being loved in return, and then getting married.

I’m Ruler, a male member of UC and a member of the new salon. In my case, I don’t expect the women I see to love me in the first place. That’s not because meeting through an escort club means the relationship will always be merely transactional. It’s because if I’m attractive enough, they’ll genuinely fall for me without me having to ask for it. The other day, one of the women I see asked me, “A friend invited me to a group date and asked me to come along to make up the numbers. Is it okay if I go?” I told her, “Go and have fun.” *If she were actively seeking out new men all the time, I’d lose interest, but women have social commitments too. I understand that sometimes they have to accept invitations they’d rather not.* I do worry a little, and I’m probably a little jealous too… but I think not showing it is part of having the composure of a mature man. Personally, I wouldn’t want her to stay with me simply out of sympathy, or because she feels it would be hard to break up after being together for so many years. I want to keep working on myself so that, even after seeing various other men, she can continue seeing me while thinking, “This person is still the best.” When it comes to romance, I’m probably pretty strict with myself（笑）

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ Try not to worry about it. Even if you fall mutually in love here and the relationship deepens, things don’t necessarily end well. Try making offers to other women to take your mind off it—or, better yet, immerse yourself in your work. I had similar experiences several times in my twenties, and more often than not, getting too emotionally invested didn’t lead to a good outcome. Rather than letting yourself get carried away in a way you can’t control, I think it’s faster to find a way to manage that feeling.