People often talk about “negotiating terms,” but how often does that actually happen? In my experience, I’ve had terms presented, asked about, or discussed to find common ground fewer than once in ten times.

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ With things like this, you may just be making assumptions, since women often don’t openly share how they really feel. I ask upfront so I don’t have to wonder, “How much will I receive...?” Then I simply pay that amount and decide later whether to meet again. Of course, everyone’s different. That said, even if you ask directly about the details of the arrangement or how long you’ll be together, there’s no guarantee you’ll end up with a relationship that fully satisfies both sides. I’ve accepted that asking too bluntly won’t necessarily get me a clear answer. > Proof that you feel, “If the terms don’t work for me, I can’t be with her.” But isn’t that perfectly fine in the first place? Maybe it would be better to change the way of thinking that makes you lose interest.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. In my case, I’ve never not negotiated. I don’t go into too much detail, but I usually say something like, “This is roughly what I have in mind altogether.” Whether that’s good or bad probably depends on the individual. Ideally, I’d like it to be as easy on my wallet as possible, haha.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. I’m looking at this from the man’s perspective. For example, suppose you had an adult relationship without discussing anything beforehand. If, afterward, the man said things like: “Wasn’t this supposed to be romance?” “Were you a prostitute?” “What are you talking about? I can’t pay you anything. That would be illegal.” Then it’s obvious who would end up suffering. And yet some men say discussing the terms would kill the mood. It makes me wonder if they’re only thinking about themselves. There is a way to deal with men like that, though. If they were sued for 1 million or even 10 million yen afterward, perhaps they would regret not negotiating beforehand. (Women who belong to the club, please don’t try this yourselves.) You might think, “Then just refuse to pay.” But the woman could also report it as rape. If her clothes were torn or she had injuries, whose side do you think the public would take? You might think rape couldn’t be established because she entered the room willingly, but that’s something determined after a trial, isn’t it? If the woman reports it on the spot, the man can naturally be arrested for investigative purposes, and he can legally be detained as well. If someone thinks negotiating the terms would ruin the mood so much that he’s willing to take that kind of risk, perhaps he needs to experience such a situation once and learn the hard way. Though honestly, I feel it’s something anyone could understand just by thinking about it, without having to experience it. Still, if discussing the terms really kills the mood for you, I hope you live in a way that won’t leave you regretting it if something like that ever happens. For the record, at our club, we always tell people to discuss the allowance beforehand and enter into a consensual relationship only after both parties are satisfied with the terms, so they won’t have regrets later. Most men are gentlemanly enough that it’s usually fine even without going that far. But gentlemanly men aren’t put off by discussing it beforehand, so I feel that the men who are put off may actually be the more dangerous ones. It may come down to personal preference, but the moment a man is unable to put himself in the woman’s position, he becomes dangerous.

I’m Seattle, a male member. In my case, depending on how much I wanted to meet the person, I’d offer ¥30,000, ¥40,000, or ¥50,000 including transportation. If she asked for more, I might have increased it by another ¥10,000, depending on the person. If she didn’t agree, I might have just had dinner and gone home. In the end, she accepted my initial offer, so I’m not sure whether that counts as not negotiating at all or negotiating just once. I’m willing to discuss and work out the terms, but I’ve never actually done so.