I’m a female member. I’d be grateful to hear from the men here: Have you ever canceled a date on the day of, after the second date or later? If so, how did you follow up with the woman afterward?

Maezawa from the executive office here. I understand that unexpected, unavoidable commitments can come up, so last-minute cancellations do happen. However, having it happen twice in a row does seem odd. Also, Universe members are all gentlemanly men. Normally, if a man has asked you to keep a date open and then has to cancel at the last minute, he would feel bad about it. So even if you don’t end up meeting, it’s customary for him to give you the agreed-upon allowance. If a man refuses to do so, I’d say he isn’t much of a gentleman. Since two cancellations in a row is unusual, I think you should start looking for someone new as well.

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ The fact that this keeps happening concerns me. Why does the male member continue contacting you despite all this…? As a man, I’d think it would be much more beneficial to simply ignore you. Is he booking—or double-booking—you alongside another woman? Or prioritizing a sudden message from another woman? I really don’t understand. Same-day cancellations do happen. In those cases, I transfer that day’s allowance. If it’s a woman I’d rather not ask for her bank details, I give her double next time.

I’m a male member in Seattle. I’ve canceled a date twice because I had a cold and didn’t want to risk passing it on—once the day before and once on the day of. Neither was our first meeting. When we met next, I gave them two allowances since the cancellations were due to my own circumstances. One of them wouldn’t accept it, saying it was fine as long as we rescheduled for another day. If a man selfishly cancels at the last minute and keeps doing it, you should be the one to dump him. You’re not in the wrong.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I’ve never canceled at the last minute on the day of a meeting, and none of the women I’ve met so far have ever done that to me either. Women have preparations to make as well, so I can certainly understand how upsetting it must be. That man may really have been busy—or there may have been some other reason. ① Can you think of anything that might have happened between the two of you before the day he canceled? On “Darling,” the helpful column site run by the Universe Group, there’s a recent article by 冒険商人 titled “When a Man Decides to End Things.” Some of it really rings true. A dating club is both a place to find comfort and a battlefield at the same time. ↑ I’m not sure how else to put it, and I can’t express it very well…but that’s the harsh reality. ② If you truly can’t think of anything in particular… If he suggests making plans for next time, you could continue seeing him while keeping in mind that this may happen occasionally. Otherwise, perhaps this is “when a woman decides to end things.”

I’m Rula, a male member of UC and a member of the new salon. I’m sorry to hear you were stood up at the last minute. I can imagine how upsetting that must have been. It really takes a toll. I’ve never canceled on the day of a date myself. However, there have been several times when I had already made plans but asked to cancel about a week beforehand. Of course, if it’s genuinely unavoidable because of work or something similar, then it can’t be helped. But I have canceled before while feeling like this: “We made plans for our next date more or less out of habit, but now that I think about it, I don’t really feel like we click. I’m starting to think it may be time to say goodbye, but what should I do? Canceling on the day would be unfair to her and make it obvious that I’ve suddenly grown cold, so I’ll continue responding politely without letting her realize how I feel, while gradually fading out…” On the other hand, I’ve also been canceled on at the last minute by women several times. One of them was someone I had a monthly arrangement with. I knew she was going through an especially busy period at work, so I planned our dates around her schedule as much as possible. However, even on the day of the date, the time and location were often still undecided. And even after we settled on the details, she would repeatedly change them because of work. When I become close to someone, I usually make a monthly arrangement and give her the full month’s allowance at the beginning of the month. But when we could hardly meet at all, it became emotionally burdensome—not just financially—so I ended the relationship. As for your situation, if the same man has canceled at the last minute repeatedly, I think there’s a good chance it’s one of these two things: 1. He was genuinely too busy with work or something else and had no choice but to cancel. 2. As I described above, he has started to feel less invested in you and is trying to create some distance. In the first case, he’s not really in a position to participate in a dating club right now. If you’re hoping to receive an allowance, I think you’d be better off looking for another man with more free time. In the second case, he clearly isn’t treating you as someone important, so I’d recommend looking for someone else as well. So personally, I think it’s best to treat a man who repeatedly cancels at the last minute as someone to keep casually on the back burner, while looking for another man to make your primary partner.