I’m currently seeing a man five or six times a month (including two room dates and at least one overnight stay; the allowance is paid monthly).

I’m Saito, a column writer♪ This is a tricky situation. Since so many people have already shared their thoughts, please let us know how things turn out. “He’s a wonderful person, but I want to see him less often…” Hmm. This is such a quintessential papa-katsu question.

Maezawa from the President’s Office here. In this situation, I think the most effective approach would be to say, “I think I’d like to end things,” and see how he reacts. I’m saying this because he probably likes you quite a lot, so even if you say you want to break things off, he may ask why. However, if he’s truly a gentleman, he may simply respect your feelings, say he understands, and let you go. So it’s important to consider what kind of person he is. That said, if he’s the type who would say he understands, then saying, “I’d like to see you twice a month instead,” might make it easy to change the arrangement to twice a month. So, suppose you bring up ending things and he asks why. You could say something like, “I’ve been getting busier lately, and it’s becoming difficult to make time to see you.” If he responds by asking, “Would you still be able to see me twice a month?” I’d consider that a success. It’s a slightly risky approach, since it could end the relationship entirely. So if you’re worried, you may want to continue things as they are for as long as possible, and only try this once you’ve reached the point where you don’t want to end things but could accept it if they did come to an end.

I’m a male member, Seattle. It’s tricky that he isn’t supportive of you going out with your female friends. Given how often you see each other, I’d say he’s more like a boyfriend than a papa. 1. Be prepared to lose your monthly papa, emphasize that you’re not cheating on or unhappy with him, and ask for more time to yourself. Depending on the situation, you could even offer to accept a lower allowance. 2. Keep seeing him as often as you have been and ask for an increased allowance. I feel like those are the only options.