Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
In the past, the rule was to give the woman a thank-you payment under the name of transportation expenses after dinner. If the relationship progressed into an adult relationship (intimate) after dinner, it was also acceptable to agree on a single all-inclusive allowance.
So I believe transportation expenses were included for older members.
However, we changed the rules several years ago, and the new rules now apply even to older members.
Under the new rules, you first give the woman a thank-you payment of ¥5,000–¥10,000, referred to as transportation expenses, before the meal. If the relationship subsequently develops into an adult relationship (intimate), the two of you should discuss and decide on a separate allowance.
That said, it seems many men are breaking the rules because they don’t like the new system.
(It’s rather funny to call them “new” after several years.)
Perhaps they think, “If we all cross on a red light, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” or, “Kill one person and you’re a murderer; kill a million and you’re a hero. Numbers sanctify murder.” I’m not really sure.
But it does seem that many men are trying to justify breaking the rules.
If a woman encounters a man who is breaking the rules, she doesn’t need to say anything to him, but I would like her to report it properly to the club.
That will help us identify men who aren’t following the new rules.
(I think it’s best to report only the facts. Some staff members who side with the men may label women who submit reports as complainers, even when they’ve made a genuine report >＜)
> I’m also hesitant to negotiate the allowance, so maybe this wasn’t suited to me in the first place.
You can always decline and leave without negotiating. You don’t have to tell him how much you want.
If he doesn’t realize it, simply leave.
Some men may notice and offer a different amount.
I think it’s best to pursue an arrangement that you yourself feel comfortable with.
I’m Seattle, a male member and column writer.
For me, transportation costs are included in the allowance. The amount of support can vary greatly depending on her looks, age, and interpersonal skills.
Rather than leaving it vague, I negotiate by clearly stating that transportation costs are included—just like UST does.
