I’m planning a trip with someone I usually spend just under five hours with for 50,000 yen. How should I think about the allowance in that case?

I’m a male member. I’d like to share a small—and rather sad—experience of mine. I went to Europe with a woman I met on another site. We met there and spent four days together. I covered everything: round-trip airfare (business class, of course? Apparently she’d never flown economy—lol), the hotel, meals, and souvenirs (lol, again). On top of that, I paid her the usual allowance—naturally, four times since we were together for four days. Even so, she apparently wasn’t satisfied, and I couldn’t reach her after she returned to Japan (lol, a third time). I believe Kida-san mentioned this here before, but when it comes to travel, whether an allowance is paid—and how much—depends on the level of trust between the two people. From her perspective, she seemed to think that since she’d traveled with an older man she didn’t even like, the allowance should basically be doubled. Covering the travel and hotel expenses was simply the bare minimum, and her argument was, “You enjoyed the trip too, didn’t you!?” This may not be much help, but I wanted to share my modest experience (sob). I hope you have a wonderful trip!

Maezawa here, answering as well. The two people decide the allowance between themselves, so the club doesn’t get involved. With that in mind, here’s my personal opinion from a man’s perspective. If you’re close enough to travel together, I think it would be fine to discuss the allowance for the trip directly, separate from the travel expenses. If the questioner is a man, you could ask: “Is ¥50,000 okay for this trip, like usual?” You might think, “It was ¥50,000 for five hours before, so ¥50,000 for several days together feels like…,” but the man would naturally be covering the travel costs, as well as all the expenses while you’re there. She might also ask you to buy her something locally. (And you’d probably end up buying it for her.) Considering all that, if you treat the trip as one arrangement and offer the usual allowance, I don’t think she’d necessarily be too upset. However, if she responds with, “What?!,” when you mention ¥50,000, that gives you an opening to ask how much she was hoping for, so it might be worth asking. If the questioner is a woman: If you’re personally okay with receiving no allowance, then unless he brings it up, you can simply enjoy the trip without expecting one. If you’re not okay with receiving nothing, declining the trip would probably save you from feeling uncomfortable afterward. When it comes to allowances, some men prefer women to be direct. With that kind of man, it’s fine to ask him outright about the allowance. However, men who don’t like discussing it directly may lose interest when the woman brings up money, so in those cases, it may be safer not to ask.

I’m Saito♪—an active male member and columnist. Haha. The quickest way to resolve this is to ask her directly. “I don’t want to give too much… I don’t want to lose out.” “But I don’t want to be disliked for being too stingy, either.” This is a matter of personal value, so only the two people involved can work it out. So, if you ask her directly and find that her proposal is… “Too high” Just accept it and move on to find someone else. Don’t waste your time. “Too low” Quietly be glad and enjoy a long-term relationship with her! Either way, look on the bright side: at least you got to hear how she really feels about you. A trip won’t be enjoyable if you’re both feeling uneasy the whole time. Have a wonderful trip! P.S. Since you’ll be spending a lot of time together on a trip, you’re bound to notice all kinds of things—both good and bad. I hope you enjoy those experiences, too!