I was introduced to a very kind and generous man, but he keeps asking to see me four times a month, and I’m having trouble with it.

I’m Joe, a columnist and male member. I’m sure my opinion is no different from everyone else’s, but I think it’s important to clearly and politely communicate what you want. As you’re concerned, it might possibly offend him. But if you approach it with a “none of that matters” attitude like Yoshio, things may actually work out better and develop into a calm, steady relationship. As for having a boyfriend, Joe would be delighted to know—but generally speaking, it’s probably better not to mention it. To be honest, I do think, “After all these years, not being able to tell whether she has a boyfriend or not is pretty oblivious.” In any case, I hope everything works out well for you.

Maezawa from the President’s Office here. > Is it possible that he’s only so excited because we just met, and if I don’t say anything, he’ll eventually lose interest and naturally reduce how often we meet? That’s certainly possible, but it’s also possible that he’ll become more and more invested. So I think it’s better to assume things will continue as they are. > Would he be offended if I asked him to reduce how often we meet? I probably shouldn’t tell him I have a boyfriend, right? That also depends on the man. I think there’s a good chance he would understand if you explained that you want to meet less often because you have a boyfriend. Normally, I imagine most men would feel that way. However, even if he understands, being told directly could still leave him disappointed. It may be better to leave it somewhat ambiguous—something like: “Most people probably have someone, but he doesn’t say anything.” “No, he definitely must have someone—but he says he doesn’t.” That kind of approach may work better. That said, you’re hoping to meet just once or twice a month, but you’re currently meeting four times and finding it difficult. So without pushing yourself, why not suggest meeting once a month? If he says he’d like to see you a little more and asks for twice a month, then twice a month seems reasonable. If that means he decides to end things, then perhaps you simply weren’t a good match. Being considerate of his feelings is important, and that may well be one of the things he likes about you. But that doesn’t mean you should force yourself to continue the relationship. I hope you can understand his feelings while also taking care of your own.

I’m Seattle, a male member. Since things could start feeling awkward, it’s probably best to tell him about your boyfriend sooner rather than later. Just be sure to reassure him by telling him that your papa is wonderful too. Once he hears that you have a boyfriend, he may naturally lose interest a little and reduce the number of meetings. Negotiate honestly.