I always enjoy reading the heartwarming exchanges here.

The first meeting is crucial, so if there’s anything you’re concerned about, you should make it clear from the start, or you may regret it later. The questioner’s wording is overly cautious and roundabout, so I think it would be better to clearly communicate the important points early on rather than going back and forth repeatedly. If it doesn’t come across well in writing, you could also discuss it over the phone or in person. For example: “For the first meeting, I’d prefer to meet at a hotel. If you’d like me to come to your home, I’d like to consider that after we’ve gotten to know each other better.” There are a few wealthy men who have private rooms or second homes—perhaps even apartments—for this kind of thing. If you feel uneasy and he has other girls he supports, I think it’s perfectly fine to turn him down. Traveling to another region or staying overnight seems quite risky unless you trust him very deeply. Personally, I’d also be a little wary if the allowance and travel expenses haven’t been discussed even though he’s asking you to travel—especially if he hasn’t brought them up himself.

You said: > “I told him how I really feel—that I think it’s too soon—but he didn’t seem to understand, and I feel like he’s rejecting me.” So I assume you want to tell this man that, as I mentioned in the Q&A, it isn’t generally considered normal. And that’s true: going to your papa’s home isn’t the norm. It might be normal for a romantic couple, but even then, I feel it would usually be something you do only after becoming much closer. The man may want the relationship to feel more like a romantic one, or he may want to save on hotel costs. But that only works if both people genuinely feel comfortable with it. Normally, I think that kind of trust takes years to develop—and even after taking plenty of time, it’s also perfectly normal to never go to someone’s home. If he still won’t understand, you might be better off simply saying, “I’m not comfortable meeting anywhere other than a hotel.” It may be best to make it clear that, regardless of how much time has passed, you prefer meeting at a hotel.

There’s no such thing as a “standard” answer, is there? Putting that aside, in rural areas, being seen by others can be an issue, so I can understand considering someone’s home. But then again, what about the neighbors noticing? It’s a bit of a mystery. Surely the man isn’t married, is he? If he’s single, I can’t really think of any particular risks, though a home would probably feel a bit too ordinary to set the mood. Maybe he just wants to save money on a hotel? Just to be safe, you could ask for his address, leave a note at home saying, “I’m going here,” and keep your phone’s recording function ready to turn on at any time. I’ve been intimate at a girl’s parents’ house while they were away. I was nervous thinking they might suddenly come home, but it felt kind of exciting and new. She was the one who invited me, so I think she probably wanted to do something a little taboo too. I just thought of something: don’t people call delivery escorts to their homes? I’ve never used one, so I’m not sure, but that’s what I’ve heard. Maybe it feels similar to that? Though if she got angry at being treated like a delivery escort, let’s not do that—it would be insulting to delivery escorts.

Does it really matter whether it’s considered normal or how it looks to a third party? If you’re concerned about how other people evaluate it, I’m sure there are plenty of other things you’d be worried about as well. If you’re really that curious and want to know, I can tell you. I’ve heard from several women about going to a partner’s hometown because he asked them to, and also about being intimate at his home. So, after hearing that, did you think, “Maybe I should go too”?

If you’d like, become a respondent and join the “Respondents’ Community.” You can interact with other respondents in real time, and everyone is so kind they’d answer three trillion times if you asked a hundred million questions, so I’m sure they’d give you detailed advice about this situation too. Some papas, like the one in your situation, deliberately put you in circumstances like this to gauge your affection and trust. People who test others are such a hassle, aren’t they? Even if things were safe and you ended up being intimate at his place, it would still be scary. You lose if you don’t play along. But you can’t exactly bring yourself to do that, right? So maybe you could ask one of the respondents to accompany you? Since everyone has plenty of free time, I’m sure someone would come along.