When you meet a woman several times, do you both agree that you're dating and then continue seeing each other? Or do you just keep meeting without really defining the relationship?
Should I be clear with a woman I like? I'm married, so I feel a little awkward calling it dating. I'd like to hear how everyone else handles this.
Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
LOL
This is a place for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so it’s not really about “dating” in the usual sense—whether someone is married or single.
In your case, you don’t need to say it explicitly.
Why? Because if she wants to continue seeing you, she’ll be the one to bring it up lol.
Just don’t say anything and wait for her to mention it.
You might end up making first-meeting offers forever, though… lol
P.S.
About your reply to Maezawa-san: that way of thinking may be a bit outdated.
“Hey, I’m paying you!” Let’s leave that kind of customer harassment in the Showa era. It’s the Reiwa era now.
Think of this as an English-speaking space and don’t overdo the unnecessary politeness. The people answering here are all wealthy, successful men sharing opinions based on their papa-katsu experience, so if you can’t simply accept it with an “Oh, I see,” you won’t improve, change, or grow.
Even in papa-katsu, old-fashioned, out-of-touch men are disliked by women.
Well, there is one exception 🤣🤣🤣 If you spend overwhelmingly large amounts of money on women, Eiichi’s power can make people like you!
With a high allowance, your partner will naturally want to continue seeing you.
If you want to maximize your value for money, you really should show some respect for the opinions here—and for women more than 20 years younger than you…
But hey, it’s fine.
If there are lots of clueless papas among the members, it means fewer rivals for me, and I can enjoy being seen as one of the more pleasant top papas on Fuu lol.
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State the amount you’re offering for a four-hour date, and if she agrees, that’s when the arrangement begins. Lay out the terms early, and follow them from the second meeting onward. Be clear about things like whether protection is used and whether transportation costs are included or paid separately.
For those four hours, I’d like her to pretend we’re a normal couple. I agree with Crosswalk. If you’re completely passive, it’ll probably end after the first meeting.
If it looks like things will continue, you should both get tested for STIs.
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It’s like having someone play your romantic partner only while filming the drama. If I like them, the drama continues, but it can also be suddenly canceled.
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Having lived for over 50 years, not knowing what to do about something this basic seems like a serious problem.
“Does being in a relationship mean that you both agree to it and meet several times? Or do you just happen to meet several times without formally agreeing to anything?”
I think either is fine.
You could move into a monthly arrangement after meeting a few times, or you could say from the start that this is the kind of arrangement you’re looking for.
As you talk, you can figure out which option suits you better and which one your partner prefers for the relationship going forward.
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If by “dating” you mean having an adult relationship (intimate), then yes. If you mean dating romantically, most women at these clubs aren’t looking for that. Please don’t put them in an uncomfortable position.
If you mean an adult relationship, I ask during the first meeting—even with B1 or B2 women—whether there’s a possibility of moving toward one. If the answer is an absolute no, I won’t meet them a second time. I also discuss the terms of the arrangement during the first meeting.
If you just keep meeting for dinner without any clear direction, I don’t think things will ever progress. As you said, you should be clear about your intentions.
By the way, with women in the C or D categories, I ask during the first date whether we can move on to an adult relationship afterward. If that seems unlikely, I end the date right there.
Since this is just for fun, I want to keep it smooth and uncomplicated.
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I think “dating” is a word whose meaning can vary widely from person to person and depending on the context.
I also find it hard to believe that someone who’s lived for over 50 years still doesn’t understand that.
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Are you asking whether papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) also has a culture where you’re expected to explicitly say, “Please be my boyfriend/girlfriend,” when starting a relationship?
No, there’s nothing like that. If anything, agreeing on specific terms—such as the allowance—would be the equivalent. You might call it “just meeting casually,” but you should clearly establish things like the allowance and any activities that are off-limits. In that sense, I’m a little uncomfortable when people describe it as just “going with the flow.”
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I generally don’t date anyone. In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), there’s a very convenient phrase used instead of “dating”:
“Starting a relationship.”
It’s clearly different from being boyfriend and girlfriend, so it isn’t really “dating.” But saying, “We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, right?” sounds lonely, so women use phrases like “being in a relationship” or “starting a relationship” to keep their papa (a male supporter) happy.
“We’re dating, right?”
“Yes! We’re in a relationship♡ (What a needy papa.)”
That’s the kind of misunderstanding that happens.
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