He got upset because I didn’t give him a souvenir.
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I told a man I’ve been seeing for about six months that I was going on a trip to Hokkaido, but he got upset that I didn’t bring him anything. He said things like, “I always give you things—why didn’t you bring me anything?” and “You didn’t send me any photos from there either, so I thought you might be with another man.”
I did give him a souvenir when we had only met about twice, but he’s married and seemed like he wouldn’t be able to take it home, so I felt he wasn’t particularly happy about it. (He did eat it while we were together, though.) That’s why I didn’t bring him anything this time.
Are people generally happy to receive souvenirs?
Also, would it be better not to give him a letter, since he might not be able to take it home? Personally, I’d like to write one, but I’d appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
It’s not really about the souvenir—it’s about wanting you to think of him even when you’re not together. In that case, why not occasionally take a photo or something and send it to him? I think it comes down to your skills at maintaining the relationship as a papa-katsu girl. If it feels like too much trouble, you’re probably better off ending things.
I’d avoid writing a letter. His wife might find it.
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I’d like to say, “What a pain in the ass—just drop the old man,” but…
It sounds like he’s really into you. If you do your best within what you’re comfortable with, you might be able to get even more money out of him.
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If it’s something I can’t take home, I can just throw it away in a convenience store trash can before heading home, so you don’t need to worry about that 🙆♂️
If you want to give me flowers or a letter, that’s totally fine.
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Once you do it the first time, it becomes the default. If it doesn’t happen again, she’ll expect it and end up disappointed.
If you find out he’s married after talking, don’t get involved in the first place. If you’re going to go through with it, then keep doing it even if you end up being discarded.
That’s how I see it.
Fuu says she doesn’t need anything at first, but there are women who still give her things. If it’s food, she eats it together with them at the hotel. As for letters, she takes photos of them and leaves them behind at the hotel.
That’s what she does.
Since you’ve given her something once already, I think you should keep doing so from now on.
It’s annoying when they ask things like whether you went with another man, but as Seattle-san says, if you can get more money out of him, put up with it. If he’s too stingy, I think it’s fine to end things.
After all, this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so it’s not something you need to force yourself to continue.
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This is Fullerene!
Souvenirs are nice, I guess.
That said, the happiness you feel when you receive one is kind of fleeting—it comes in a flash and disappears just as quickly. It’s not that I’m not happy, though.
Food is probably the safest choice. Personally, I don’t really want the kind of thing you’d obviously find at a train station or airport. I already know what that stuff tastes like, and if you’re going to spend money on something with such bad value, I’d rather you use it on yourself.
I’d be happier with something you can buy at an ordinary shop around town.
I really, really don’t want a letter, lol.
Actually, it’s a total turn-off.
It feels so much like a sales pitch, doesn’t it?
I don’t even want to read it, but then I get depressed wondering if I’m supposed to read it anyway, so I do, lol.
And then I have trouble throwing it away.
I even keep my LINE messages fairly restrained so that it wouldn’t be a problem if someone happened to see them, and then you give me a letter?
After meeting around ten times, I probably wouldn’t be put off by getting a letter. But by then, having met ten times, I’d feel bad throwing it away, so I’d be stuck either way, lol.
So please spare me!
Oh, and your papa (a male supporter) is just sulking, so next time, give him a little pat on the head along with the souvenir.
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If you’re actually dating, then he’s probably just jealous.
That said, judging from the nature of this forum, I assume this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
If he gave you some spending money because you were going on a trip, then it’s only natural for him to expect at least a message saying something like, “Thanks to you, I had a great time,” along with a souvenir.
But if the allowance wasn’t much and you couldn’t have afforded the trip because of it, then it’s perfectly understandable that you didn’t bring him anything. In that case, honestly, I can’t understand what this old guy is saying.
A guy who pays a low allowance, keeps you tied up as much as he wants, and is already getting plenty out of each pay-per-meeting arrangement shouldn’t be making demands beyond his station.
My guess is that, when talking about the trip, you may have said something insincere like, “Thanks to your allowance, I can even go on trips.” If you keep saying things you don’t mean—lies you don’t believe even one bit—just to keep someone happy, eventually your words and actions won’t match.
It’s best not to say things you don’t truly mean. In the end, it will come back around and damage the relationship.
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I don’t need an expensive souvenir.
Something small that can be eaten right away—like the kind of thing a coworker gives you after coming back from a trip—is more than enough.
What makes me happy is knowing that you thought of me.
I don’t need letters, though. I wouldn’t know what to do with them.
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Honestly, I don’t need souvenirs or anything from your trips. Even when someone gives me some cheap little trinket, I sometimes have no idea what to do with it.
Some girls send me photos from their trips, too, but I’ve never asked them to. They may be dealing with someone pretty clingy.
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Something you can eat together in the hotel room might be a good choice.
That said, a man getting offended over something like a souvenir is a bit much. Maybe jealousy is involved—perhaps he thinks you went with another man.
If he seems like too much trouble, I’d say move on to the next one!
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> Does everyone appreciate getting souvenirs?
Most people are probably happy about the thought behind the gift rather than the souvenir itself.
> Since letters can’t be taken home, would it be better not to give one? Personally, I’d like to write one, but I’d like some advice.
I think a letter could be effective for someone who likes them, but in this smartphone age, whether it works or not probably depends on the person. This is something you should ask them directly.
> They got angry because I didn’t give them a souvenir.
It seems like all you have to do is give them one next time...
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First, my impression:
That papa sounds like a lot of work.
Even if you send him photos, he might start wondering whether you went with another guy, so it may be wiser not to mention the trip at all.
As for souvenirs and letters, I guess it depends on what they say. Something casual would be nice, but anything too serious would make me uncomfortable.
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It would be more productive to say that directly to the person instead of making excuses here.
What complete strangers think has nothing to do with how that person feels.
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