I’ve made friends through the adult entertainment industry—mainly high-end dating clubs—and occasionally gone out to eat with them. Although there’s still a transactional element to it, I’ve started wanting to spend more time together. Since that kind of activity isn’t really the main focus for me, I’m considering trying a different kind of arrangement. What do you think?
This is a dating club for people like you. If you earn ¥10 million a year, we’d be happy to have you join.
Until we get to know each other better, please keep it to four hours or less.
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Since you’re paying for the service, there’s probably a limit to how much time you can spend together.
Here at Universe Club, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is basically limited to four hours as well. With papa-katsu, though, it ultimately depends on what both parties agree to. For example, a woman might be willing to go on a trip for a certain allowance and a set number of hours, while others may not be comfortable with that.
Since you’re in your 30s, why not just pursue a regular relationship? You could look for a friends-with-benefits arrangement on a dating app or something.
If sex isn’t your main concern, you could try paid drinking companions. Or if you just want someone to accompany you to a hostess club or spend time with you, there seem to be various options. I’d suggest choosing whatever suits you best.
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Change the type of relationship?
Before joining Universe, I was seeing someone I met through a delivery escort service in Tokyo for about two and a half years.
We met roughly once a month, and I never gave her gifts or an allowance. Instead, she would stop by the department store basement food hall, bring food to the hotel, and we’d also take trips together as a way of returning the favor. We had a lot of fun.
I think you could have a relationship like that too, but do you really want to enter the world of allowances? I’m not sure I understand… lol
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As long as you’re trying to meet women by spending money, there are going to be time constraints. In that sense, dating and the sex industry are basically the same category. It might be different if you either completely adapt to your partner, like Paper Airplane, or invest heavily in one particular person, like Seattle.
> “It has elements of a transactional relationship, but I’d like to spend more time together.”
That’s incredibly contradictory—or just plain selfish. I think it is possible if you skillfully cultivate a friends-with-benefits arrangement outside the papa-katsu world. You need an advanced ability to draw out just the right amount of romantic interest from the other person, or the eye to spot and lock onto a woman like that.
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The intent of your question is a little unclear, but I think you’re asking something like this:
“Papa-katsu does involve money, but it seems there are men who want to enjoy something more like a romantic relationship while they’re together—having meals, going on dates, and so on. That sounds better than meeting up and parting ways right after sleeping together, so I’m thinking of shifting my focus to papa-katsu. What do you think?”
If you’re already “getting close to someone and occasionally going out for meals,” then you’re actually in a situation quite similar to papa-katsu. In that sense, the question is essentially whether or not you should quit sex work altogether.
Thinking of it that way may make the situation easier to imagine.
In other words, the key question is whether you can support yourself through seeing that person—or those people—you’re close to. If that’s financially workable, then I think it’s fine to shift your main focus to papa-katsu.
But if you don’t see those people often enough and you’re worried about making ends meet, it may be better to continue as you are.
Sex work is, fundamentally, a job, whereas papa-katsu isn’t. I think it’s better to view papa-katsu as something to consider for extra income after securing a proper job to support your daily life.
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Try looking for someone in regular settings rather than at adult entertainment venues. You’ll figure it out somehow.
Slave-chan is back. That’s all from the scene.
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Recently, I met a really nice girl through a non-penetrative escort service.
I’m planning to see her a few more times and try to turn it into a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) arrangement.
Until now, I’ve avoided women with experience in clubs, the sex industry, or nightlife, but lately I’m starting to feel that they’re needlessly demanding and that there’s no real point in avoiding them.
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There are countless places where men and women can meet.
The places you choose to go and spend time in are probably comfortable spaces for you, so I think there’s a good chance things will work out with someone you meet there.
That applies to hostess clubs, men’s esthetic salons, and adult entertainment venues too—everyone has different places they enjoy. For example, a hostess club is such a painful environment for me that I wouldn’t even want to breathe there, whereas a private room for just the two of us at a men’s esthetic salon feels relaxing.
This spring, I happened to exchange a few words and LINE contacts with a woman who was sitting next to me at a restaurant—we both seemed to be there on dates with someone of the opposite sex. That connection has continued to this day, and she even invited me out during the Obon holidays.
This is the ultimate example of meeting someone in a place where your interests and preferences align. Our shared interest in food, as well as arranging invitations and meetups, all feels very natural and enjoyable. We’re also both on the older side, so there’s no allowance involved—and that has its own appeal too.
> A stance of thoroughly adapting yourself to the other person, like Paper Airplane does
It’s not simply a matter of being submissive or being able to act that way. It’s more that it comes naturally and unconsciously—that it’s what I want to do and what makes me happy…
The dom/sub analysis is really amazing.
And if you also have a feminine side at heart, then… I’m currently hooked on those TV confession scenes, but I find myself thinking, “I want to go that far too…” With a dominant personality, this might be something I wouldn’t want to do even one percent of the time…
I want to be completely unfiltered—like a real daughter—saying whatever selfish things I want and doing whatever I please, acting innocently and freely…
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