Tips Aug 11, 2026 16:57

I’ve fallen for someone who’s more than 30 years older than me.

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We were intimate once. He became distant afterward, but recently he’s started talking to me again. I was happy about that and confessed my feelings. He turned me down, but he’s still kind to me even after I told him how I feel. I’d like to understand the male psychology behind being kind to someone after rejecting them. Please help.
👤 Asked by Guest 👩GenderFemale 🎂 Not stated 👑 Not stated
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🔖 ID l!jU1-$b5Ry 🎯 Looking for answers from 誰でも

6 answers

カズ
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
Being kind and dating someone are two separate things. I honestly don’t understand why they’re being treated as a package deal.
(3 replies left)
前澤(スタッフ)
前澤(スタッフ) Male Column Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe staff
You’re the one who previously asked, “The person I fell for is such a player,” right? If you’re talking about him, I think he acts that way precisely because he’s a player. Since he knows the ropes, he may know how to keep women from leaving by alternating between being kind and being cold. It seems more like a tactic than a matter of psychology.
(3 replies left)
横断歩道
🏅 デート開拓者
ユニバース5年目。女性とはいろいろな商業施設に行ってデートしています。
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
All I can say is, that’s just the kind of person they are.
(3 replies left)
マックさん
🏅 日没を遅らせる唯一の方法は日没に向かって走り続けることだ
名古屋支店登録で、男性会員としての登録名もマックさんです。コラム多数書いてますのでよろしければご参照ください。20代の細身女性が好みで逆オファーには前向きです。経験無いまたは少ない方大歓迎。
Age: 60s 👨 Male Universe member
If a woman’s rejected suitor keeps pursuing her and starts acting like a stalker, she’ll probably feel unsafe, so she has to be clearly cold toward him. But if a man’s rejected admirer keeps coming around looking desperate, he can simply ignore her, so he has the luxury of staying calm.
(3 replies left)
Fuu
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
This is just speculation, but maybe it’s because being cold toward someone doesn’t do you any good? If you have sex with someone you see often and are close to, then start acting cold, they might become a stalker, blow up at you, or make things complicated—and you’d rather avoid that? Popular men probably get attention because they’re relaxed, kind, and make people feel secure. Or maybe because you seem like someone they could turn into a friends-with-benefits partner. When a guy invites you out for a meal or a date, he usually has at least some hope of getting lucky or seeing whether he has a chance. Without that, it’s hard for him to be genuinely kind, I guess—lol. That’s just how it is with Fuu, though 😂 Either way, it doesn’t sound like he’s interested in dating you, so you’d probably be happier looking for another guy. If you can pull men over 30, you’re highly suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). As long as you’re reasonably attractive, it’s a great system: you can receive an allowance while looking for another guy who’s your type. We look forward to welcoming you to the club 😊 After joining, if you’re into normal, horny guys who are lean and muscular with a big dick—even if their looks aren’t anything special—send Fuu a reverse offer if you’re interested!
(3 replies left)
負け男
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
He doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you, but wants you to be a convenient woman (a friends-with-benefits situation), I guess. So if he asks you for H, turn him down. There’s a chance he might then chase after you, and you could end up in a romantic relationship.
(3 replies left)