I’ve fallen for someone who’s more than 30 years older than me.
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We were intimate once. He became distant afterward, but recently he’s started talking to me again. I was happy about that and confessed my feelings. He turned me down, but he’s still kind to me even after I told him how I feel.
I’d like to understand the male psychology behind being kind to someone after rejecting them.
Please help.
You’re the one who previously asked, “The person I fell for is such a player,” right?
If you’re talking about him, I think he acts that way precisely because he’s a player. Since he knows the ropes, he may know how to keep women from leaving by alternating between being kind and being cold.
It seems more like a tactic than a matter of psychology.
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If a woman’s rejected suitor keeps pursuing her and starts acting like a stalker, she’ll probably feel unsafe, so she has to be clearly cold toward him. But if a man’s rejected admirer keeps coming around looking desperate, he can simply ignore her, so he has the luxury of staying calm.
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This is just speculation, but maybe it’s because being cold toward someone doesn’t do you any good?
If you have sex with someone you see often and are close to, then start acting cold, they might become a stalker, blow up at you, or make things complicated—and you’d rather avoid that?
Popular men probably get attention because they’re relaxed, kind, and make people feel secure.
Or maybe because you seem like someone they could turn into a friends-with-benefits partner.
When a guy invites you out for a meal or a date, he usually has at least some hope of getting lucky or seeing whether he has a chance. Without that, it’s hard for him to be genuinely kind, I guess—lol. That’s just how it is with Fuu, though 😂
Either way, it doesn’t sound like he’s interested in dating you, so you’d probably be happier looking for another guy.
If you can pull men over 30, you’re highly suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). As long as you’re reasonably attractive, it’s a great system: you can receive an allowance while looking for another guy who’s your type.
We look forward to welcoming you to the club 😊
After joining, if you’re into normal, horny guys who are lean and muscular with a big dick—even if their looks aren’t anything special—send Fuu a reverse offer if you’re interested!
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He doesn’t want a romantic relationship with you, but wants you to be a convenient woman (a friends-with-benefits situation), I guess.
So if he asks you for H, turn him down. There’s a chance he might then chase after you, and you could end up in a romantic relationship.
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