I’d like advice on how to deal with a man who sends me a lot of LINE messages every day.
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I’m currently seeing a 70-year-old man. He’s very youthful for his age and has a wonderful personality, so I’d like to continue our relationship.
However, perhaps because he no longer works, he messages me extremely frequently. He reads my messages almost immediately, and it’s not unusual for him to send around three replies to a single message.
I’m naturally someone who replies quickly, but he once said, “Sometimes I send you three topics and you only respond to one, don’t I?” Since then, I’ve tried to respond to as much of what he says as possible.
But his messages have become even more frequent than before.
For example, when I tell him about a trip, he’ll say something like, “I’m glad you had fun,” but during the trip he’ll also send many messages such as, “I can’t help thinking you’re there with another man.” Sometimes he sends several messages that sound depressed, only to delete all of them afterward.
I’m not afraid of him, and I understand that he isn’t a bad person. However, when this kind of exchange continues every day, I find it mentally exhausting.
To be honest, if I’m expected to keep up this level of communication, I feel that I could respond with more time and emotional leeway if he increased my allowance. But I’m afraid that saying this directly would make him lose interest in me, so I haven’t been able to bring it up.
Realistically, I’m wondering whether it would be better to ask him to “reduce the frequency of your LINE messages a little” or to “understand that I don’t need to reply immediately.”
I can manage about one message a day without difficulty, but in reality, the conversation continues even after I send, “Good night.” Even when I tell him, “I’m at work,” he keeps asking questions like, “What kind of work do you do?” and “What are you doing today?”
Is there any way to reduce the burden without damaging our relationship?
Also, how should I think about or handle this situation so that I don’t become too mentally exhausted?
Do I simply have to accept this to some extent?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Cut off any old man who won’t give you money—he has no reason to be alive. ¥1,000 per reply.
If he gives you a generous allowance, then do your best accordingly.
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You describe him as “a truly wonderful person,” but based on your question, he doesn’t sound wonderful to me.
- Get a separate phone just for this man and leave it unattended.
- Don’t send him fun updates, such as stories about trips.
- Tell him you’ve started studying for a certification or something similar.
If it still feels like too much, I think you should move on and look for someone else.
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If you’re in your 20s, it’s possible to read messages without marking them as read, right?
That’s what people call leaving someone on read, but you can simply choose not to reply after saying good night, or when you feel like it’s too much effort.
Other than that, just reply properly.
If they bring it up, you could say something like, “I often don’t check LINE… I used to try to keep up, but it became difficult, so I may reply less often. Please don’t take it personally.”
Most people usually have a huge number of unread messages anyway, so you could just show them the number and casually mention that other people have far fewer messages.
Matching the other person’s pace will make them happy, but if it’s becoming stressful for you, I think you should tell them honestly.
It’s best to go at your own pace.
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I couldn’t see what was so wonderful about their personality either.
This overlaps with what others have said, but if you have enough time to write such a long post in the Q&A box, wouldn’t it be better to spend that time replying to them on LINE?
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Just ignore him.
If he complains, negotiate the allowance. If he seems like too much trouble, you can skip negotiating, block him, and move on.
Your question is way too long. Keep things simple and spend that time and energy on something else. At the end of the day, it’s just a relationship based on money.
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Are you feeling okay if you think this man, who seems to be showing signs of dementia, has “a truly wonderful personality”?
Break things off and take a break from the club for a while!
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Think about your LINE replies properly? You’ll just wear yourself out doing that, so why not have AI come up with replies using LINE’s AI button?
You could almost automate the whole thing, lol. You might even be able to create an auto-reply bot with Claude’s AI agent. If it’s really too much, make Fuu a counteroffer! I’d charge a reverse allowance to build the bot system, though, lol.
As everyone else answering has said, he sounds like such a high-maintenance papa. Honestly, I think you should just end things and find another papa.
papa-katsu isn’t supposed to be something you stress over.
The AI might give some weird replies, but since jealous messages and constant check-ins are unbearably annoying, I think responses that don’t quite match his tone might actually be ideal, lol. Once the conversation stops lining up, he might send fewer LINE messages.
And if he still keeps messaging you—or it becomes too much—why not tell him, “Do you want an allowance?” or “Could you stop messaging me?” Just be prepared to end things, because a jealous papa will only become more trouble later.
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I think it’s fine to leave the messages unread and send one LINE message late at night or in the morning.
Or you could go all in and leave them unread for about three days, saying, “I lost my phone.” That works too. If you’re an office worker, you can’t go to the police station to retrieve it on weekdays, so the excuse could work for days or even weeks.
That said, if it were a genuine emergency, they’d probably contact you in a hurry, even from someone else’s phone, so that’s another option…
I think you should send as many LINE messages as you like—but only when you actually feel like messaging the person who asked the question.
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That’s a serious concern.
Trying to cut back all at once is impossible, and it could cause major friction and, at worst, end the relationship. So try making the steady effort to reduce it by one character a day through the end of the year.
Making it just one exchange a day should be your ultimate goal. If you try to get there all at once, the relationship may fall apart, so keep working on it one character at a time.
I do exactly the same thing at work. Rather than trying to reach the goal all at once, I focus on moving forward by one millimeter every day. If you try to move forward one meter a day, you might end up taking two steps back, but moving one millimeter at a time lets you make progress without causing many side effects.
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