I met her when I was 64, when she was 22, and we’ve been together for 10 years now. While I was in my 60s, we met twice a week, and even after I turned 70, we continued seeing each other about once a week. Recently, though, I’ve been getting tired more easily, so when we meet, we often go straight to a hotel and spend our time in bed. We still have sex every time we go to a hotel.

What This Text Really Is The closest description would be a sexual boast disguised as a request for advice—a humblebrag. The Main Psychological Motives on Display 1. Wanting to confirm that he is still sexually active He may be trying to dispel anxiety about aging through sexual relationships with younger women. Details such as “twice a week,” “once a week even in his seventies,” and “without fail, even now” are not particularly necessary to address his concern. They are presented as evidence to prove that he has not lost his sexual ability. For all we know, he may no longer have any such track record and could simply be writing out a fantasy. 2. Feeling superior because he is chosen by a younger woman The statement that “I’m the only man in her life” is not something he can objectively verify. The fact that he goes out of his way to mention it suggests that he wants to convey a sense of being special: - He has exclusive access to a younger woman. - A woman continues to wait for him even though he has a wife. - He is chosen despite the age gap. Rather than valuing the continuation of the relationship itself, he places importance on being the one and only man for a younger woman. 3. Viewing women as possessions rather than people The part that most clearly reveals his true feelings is: “I’ve grown attached to ejaculating inside her bare vagina for ten years.” He does not describe it as “love for her,” but as an “attachment” to a particular body and sexual act. His focus is not on her life, feelings, or future, but on a sense of ownership over the body he has used for many years. The statement, “She’s no longer as young as she was in her twenties,” also reveals that he evaluates her according to her age and sexual value. Even though 32 is still quite young, he describes her as someone whose value has slightly declined by his standards. 4. Wanting permission to indulge his desires His conclusion is already more or less decided: “Should I continue this affair for as long as my body allows?” Although this sounds like he is leaving the decision to others, what he is really asking for is a kind of absolution: - He wants someone to tell him it is okay to continue. - He wants someone to affirm that he is still capable of carrying on. Rather than take responsibility himself for the betrayal of his family or the woman’s future, he is trying to get a third party to tell him, “You can continue.” 5. Wanting to provoke the reader The explicit details of their sexual activity are unnecessary when asking whether a relationship should continue. Since he repeatedly uses graphic descriptions, this may involve more than simple bragging: - He wants to shock the reader. - He wants to provoke jealousy or disgust. - He enjoys having other people read about his sexual experiences. It may be exhibitionistic self-disclosure or a desire to display himself sexually. It is also possible that this is less a serious request for advice than a piece of fiction, an exaggeration, clickbait, or the presentation of a sexual fantasy. We no longer live in an era of slavery, nor is this a time when it is acceptable to treat women as one’s personal property. The moment he speaks of the woman not as a human being but in terms of her “youth,” “body,” and being “mine alone,” this is no longer love—it is possessiveness. The fact that they have been involved for ten years does not give him the right to keep restricting her life for his own convenience. If he truly cares about her, he should seriously consider her future and happiness—not merely whether he can continue satisfying his own desires and sexual urges. It is also troubling that, despite having a wife, children, and grandchildren, he shows almost no sense of responsibility for his actions. Before asking others for permission to continue the relationship “as long as his body allows,” he should reconsider whether he is treating her as a human being in her own right. Women are not proof of your youth, nor are they sexual possessions. If you have grown older, then instead of flaunting your desires, consider how your actions affect the lives of those around you and live responsibly.

Like Mac, I could only sense a creepy need for validation in the way the question was written. It’s so pathetic that I’d almost think it was made up. I believe these are decisions you make for yourself while communicating with the other person.

I’ve changed my username! lol I hope I never become a man in his 70s asking questions like this… The person who posted the question seems to have aged quite a bit. It’s been over six months since I stopped accepting new offers, but I’m still seeing women ranging from their 20s to their 50s. Next month, I’m going on my first overseas date with a woman who has moved abroad. There’s still plenty to look forward to!

If you can afford it, keep it going for life, even without doing anything. You can’t take your money with you when you die. If your funds are limited, once your dick reaches its limit, give her whatever lump sum you can, thank her sincerely, and part on good terms. P.S. “Unwavering Man in His 70s” is quite a nice username.

The best thing to do is ask your dick, not your brain. The moment you started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you gave up on being human, so just live like a monkey. Stop trying to sound so high and mighty. I’m in my late 60s myself, so I apologize to the person who’s just reached their 70s, but there’s something about questions like this from men in their 70s that reeks of the indignity of old age. It feels less like he has a problem and more like dementia is starting to set in—or at least a decline in judgment. The most important thing to keep in mind when doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) in your 70s is to have no hesitation. This is the culmination of your life, so you should have the judgment and wisdom gained from experience to see everything clearly and make decisions with full perspective. So, if I had to give the questioner a blunt wake-up call, it would be: “You’ve lived for 70 years—what on earth are you talking about?! Make your own decision based on your own convictions!!” So, I’d like to suggest that the former “Confused Man in His 60s” adopt the new name “Unwavering Man in His 70s.” And another thing: this question also gives off a creepy sense of wanting validation, like, “I may be in my 70s, but I’ve still got it!”—regardless of what the questioner intended. He could have written something more dignified, like, “To my embarrassment, even after reaching my 70s, I still haven’t been able to retire from being a man…” This may not directly answer the question of what to do in the current situation, but if you’re going to call yourself a man, you should have a certain personal code. Whether he continues the relationship or ends it is entirely up to him, but I think the very fact that he’s agonizing over it and asking other people what to do is fundamentally unbecoming of someone in his 70s.

Of course, you have to take care of her for life. But jealousy and clinginess are completely out of the question—they’re seriously creepy. “Unwavering 70s” is a genius name☆ P.S. Congratulations on the new name, Unwavering 70s!☆

Is this papa-katsu, a romantic partner, or a mistress? If it were papa-katsu, it would just feel empty... So she’s a lover or a mistress, right? Surely she isn’t a club girl or doing papa-katsu? If she’s a mistress who’s like a romantic partner, I can relate to some of what she wrote... But what does she really mean? I’m guessing the person asking the question is probably pretty dominant...

That sounds kind of scary. Apparently, the questioner has been the only man in her life for the entire 10 years, and the fact that she doesn’t want to break up is pretty terrifying. If the questioner were to say they wanted to end things, she might have kept evidence, photos, and recordings of everything—their intimate relationship, the fact that they meet every week, and so on—and could threaten to expose them to relatives or others, saying things like, “Give me back the 10 years of my life.” It sounds like he’d need to pay her allowance properly, and even if they could no longer meet—for example, due to illness—he might still need to pay a substantial breakup settlement. Hopefully nothing happens, but… That kind of arrangement through papa-katsu carries nothing but risks. I can understand it if the woman eventually gets married and the relationship continues, though… Scary! Why do people bring concepts like fidelity into what is, after all, just papa-katsu? If you want exclusivity, you should either get married or have a proper relationship. They’re completely different stages. The thought of someone misunderstanding things or becoming deeply emotionally invested is frightening. No way for me—I’d avoid it. I always tell her to get a boyfriend or a friends-with-benefits partner and that she should get married someday, lol. P.S. To “迷える” who became “迷わない”: wonderful. At 70, you have come to know your destiny. Please continue mastering the way of papa-katsu without ever losing your way again. Perhaps this is your calling…