I’d say I’m slightly above average-looking, and I work part-time.
The only men who approach me seem to be after my body. I don’t think I’m being overly picky.
I’m genuinely struggling with this. Would spending more money on my appearance help me find a boyfriend?
Please tell me.
You’re not spending money on your appearance.
It doesn’t benefit anyone,
and it doesn’t make you any money.
But somehow, it’s fun.
I feel like I could keep this up naturally.
Once you start doing things like that, I think you’ll gradually gain confidence in yourself.
It’s hot, so stay hydrated, and let’s get through today with a positive attitude.
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You’re misunderstanding it slightly.
Koji Kato says, “The woman you want to sleep with is the woman you want to marry.”
There are definitely people like that mixed in.
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If the only men approaching you are after your body, then perhaps the problem isn’t your appearance but what’s inside.
Judging from the questions you ask, that does seem about right.
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If you work a part-time job, part-time guys will come your way too. It’s all about your environment. Try working somewhere with full-time employees and high-achieving professionals.
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It’s Fullerene!
Putting that aside, would you be okay with men who approach you solely because they’re after your money?
This may be something you’ve heard before and find unpleasant, but you’re in your 30s, right? In that case, many men who approach you will probably be thinking about marriage as well.
When they consider you as a potential marriage partner, the fact that you’re in your 30s and working part-time will probably count against you in terms of your overall profile.
If that’s the case, isn’t it only natural that the only men who approach you are looking for short-term relationships?
The values often seen on sites like this—that a woman is fine as long as she’s cute, even if she only works part-time—are no longer the norm in the real world.
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You’re in your 30s and asking this?
When you say, “Men who are only after my body keep approaching me,” what are you wearing? Honestly, I think it’s impressive that men are approaching you at all.
If you have even a slight desire to get married, maybe a matchmaking party would be a better option.
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> Only men who are after my body seem to approach me.
Could this be the reason I can’t get a boyfriend?
I feel that, depending on how you look at it, even someone who could potentially become your boyfriend might seem like he’s only after your body.
And if various men are actually approaching you but you’re turning them down, then it’s only natural that you’re not finding a boyfriend.
I think you should start by going on dates with every man who approaches you.
Even if he’s only interested in your body, you simply don’t have to go to a hotel.
When turning someone down, the trick is to do it in a way that leaves the door slightly open.
For example:
“I’m scared because we haven’t gone on many dates yet…”
or
“Let’s get to know each other better first!”
If you turn them down while still giving them some hope, they may ask you out again.
And if you go on dates with lots of men, I think you’ll gradually be able to tell whether they’re only interested in your body or whether that’s just one of the things they’re looking for.
If they’re interested in more than just that, I think it’s perfectly normal, so perhaps you can move on to the next step.
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Once you decide that your favorite papa is your boyfriend, I think you’ll feel more at ease and finally move past the insecurity of never having had a boyfriend. There’s no need to rush.
Then, look for a genuine boyfriend.
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I think if you handle a man who approaches you only because he wants your body skillfully, you can turn him into a boyfriend. If that’s the only thing you have going for you, you might as well make the most of it.
Something I was told today that made me really happy:
“Because I have you, I’m satisfied even without a boyfriend.”
This distance feels the most comfortable to me.
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Even if they’re only after your body, the fact that men are approaching you means you’re attractive, doesn’t it?
Why not try looking for completely different tools or places than where you’ve met people so far? Challenge yourself with an entirely opposite environment.
If you’re constantly being approached at nightclubs in Roppongi, for example, try consulting one matchmaking agency after another. If you’ve been meeting surfer types or flashy guys, try joining clubs for go or shogi instead.
You’re still popular either way, so changing your environment might bring about some changes.
Just a suggestion.
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If you’ve spent over 30 years believing that men are only interested in your body, then you’ll likely continue attracting men who are only interested in you physically.
Even if you improve your appearance, you’ll only attract men who are interested in how you look—in other words, the appearance of your body.
Unless you overcome your prejudice and dislike toward men and learn to recognize the beauty within yourself and the other person, I don’t think you’ll be able to have a relationship as romantic partners.
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So, are you saying you’ve never dated anyone—not even once since your school days?
If only men who are after your body approach you, do you have an especially sexy face, a sexy body, or do you give off an unmistakable vibe that you’d be easy to get with?
Why not try婚活 (looking for a marriage partner)?
Well, most men probably wouldn’t be kind to women if they had no interest in sex.
Our bodies are programmed with genes that want us to have sex in order to leave offspring.
Don’t hate sex. You don’t have to sell yourself cheap, but if you give off the impression that something might happen, you’re probably popular. So why not make the most of it as your greatest asset, keep several men in consideration, and choose someone you like and get along with to be your boyfriend?
Wouldn’t it be okay to be with someone your genes say yes to? As long as you at least make sure he practices safe sex and treats you gently.
Think of it as the legal drug God gave us—the medicine of happiness ^_^
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