I’m currently a first-year graduate student. Since I’m in a master’s program, I’m scheduled to graduate next year and start working.
This content is machine-translated.
I joined Universe Club in June of my senior year of college, but I’ve since left. Since last December, I’ve continued seeing just one person every two or three weeks. He gives me an allowance of 90,000 yen on a pay-per-meeting basis.
I’ll reach my target amount after meeting him five more times, but I’m struggling because I don’t know how to end the relationship.
At the moment, we decide on our next plans every time we meet, but we don’t really contact each other between dates. I don’t feel that he’s particularly attached to me, but since we’ve met quite a few times and he’s paid me a substantial amount, I’d appreciate any advice on how to end things amicably and with as little risk as possible.
One concern is that he may have intended to continue seeing me regularly until I finish my master’s degree.
Thank you in advance.
If it were me, when deciding about the next day, I’d say, “I’m going to be a little busy, so I can’t make plans right away. Would it be okay if I message you on LINE later?” Then I’d simply never contact him again.
If the man messages, “When should we meet next?” I’d delete it without reading.
That’s just what I would do, though. A lot of people probably prefer you to be upfront.
Another option is to reply, “I’ve given it a lot of thought and decided to quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Thank you for everything up to now.”
Don’t give a reason. Absolutely do not write something like, “I’ve reached my target amount.” If I were the man, I’d be hurt—and might even resent you.
Just expressing your gratitude is enough.
But honestly, I’d rather you just disappear without saying anything. When your partner breaks up with you and says, “Thank you for everything,” does that genuinely make you happy from the bottom of your heart? It’s the same thing.
Breakups are delicate, so keeping things vague and emotionless is usually safest. Putting anything into words will only make the wound deeper.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
“I’m graduating from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)” should be fine.
Men also understand that women eventually move on from it.
Of course, he may be thinking that you’ll continue meeting regularly until you finish your master’s degree, or that you’ll keep seeing each other until things stop working out. When you tell him you’re graduating, he may even suggest something like, “I’d still like to meet regularly until you finish your master’s.”
Even so, in most cases, I think he’ll accept it.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Since it’s a pay-per-meeting arrangement, the relationship can end at any time without any issue. Once you’ve reached your target amount, I think you can simply say, “I’m going to graduate from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan),” and not schedule another meeting.
That said, I’d want to give her a parting gift, so I’d appreciate it if she told me, “The next meeting will be our last,” before the final one.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
He’s a papa you’ve been seeing for just over six months, right?
He doesn’t have any of your personal information, does he? You haven’t told him your address, your family home, your school, or anything like that, right?
It doesn’t sound like you have an especially strong relationship of trust, either. So I think it would be fine to tell him in person:
“I can’t make any promises because I don’t know what my schedule will be, so I’ll contact you by LINE.”
Then block him afterward.
You’re not going to see him again, right? If you leave things half-finished, it could get complicated, so I think it’s best to cut off contact completely and cleanly.
If you’ve given him personal information, though, suddenly blocking him could backfire. It might be better to talk things through amicably first, even though it’s difficult.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I think you should bring it up by saying, “I’m thinking of moving on from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).”
Like Mac suggested, it’s probably best not to say, “I’ve reached my target amount.”
If he asks why you’ve decided to quit, it would be better to come up with some other plausible reason.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I think it’s best to be honest and tell him exactly as things are. He may even do something special to mark the occasion.
If you only meet once every two or three weeks and don’t keep in touch between meetings, he probably isn’t that attached either.
You don’t meet very often, and if it’s only been about six months, the number of meetings and the total allowance so far probably aren’t significant enough to worry about too much.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Even though he doesn’t seem like a bad papa, it’s honestly admirable that you’re quitting papa-katsu because you’d decided to stop once you reached your target amount.
I think you should just be honest with him. It’s a really positive thing, after all. That said, it might be better to bring up ending things after you’ve reached your target. Otherwise, he might react badly and say, “Then let’s end things today,” leaving you short of your goal.
Personally, I always tell new girls something along the lines of, “It’s totally fine if you suddenly disappear.” You never know what circumstances a girl might be dealing with.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
