I’ve been seeing someone on a pay-per-meeting arrangement of 100,000 yen, usually staying overnight or going on dates for around four hours. He recently suggested taking a trip, and things have been moving forward, but we haven’t discussed the allowance for travel, so I’m unsure how to set it for a one-night, two-day trip.
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He’s also suggested a two-night, three-day trip, and I’m not sure what to do. How do you usually decide on the allowance for trips like these?
👤Asked byGuest👤GenderNot stated🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
It’s completely different depending on whether you go somewhere the woman wants to go or somewhere the man wants to go.
Since this was the man’s suggestion, why not ask, “By the way, what about the allowance?”
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It really depends on whether you’re going on a trip to enjoy the experience or staying overnight for an adult relationship (intimate) with an allowance.
If the goal is to enjoy the trip, you might feel that spending time on intimacy would be a waste, so I don’t think there’s any need to bring up the allowance.
If an adult relationship (intimate) with an allowance is the main point, then since he’s a pay-per-meeting guy who gives 100,000 yen, it may be best to discuss it beforehand.
Personally, I wouldn’t want to travel with a woman who brings up the allowance first.
I’d rather travel with someone who genuinely wants to go on the trip…
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It really depends on the situation.
With a monthly arrangement, it wouldn’t be unusual for there to be no additional allowance. With a pay-per-meeting arrangement, there may also be an allowance based on the number of nights you stay each time.
If the destination is attractive to the woman, and the airfare is expensive—like traveling to Europe—and you’ll be staying at a decent hotel, it may make sense to set the allowance more like spending money for the duration of the trip.
In any case, traveling with someone you have a purely businesslike relationship with can honestly be uncomfortable for the man as well. I think it’s better to travel together only after you’ve built a reasonably solid relationship.
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I’ve never taken anyone on a trip, and don’t plan to in the future, but the allowance stays the same even for overnight stays. Whether it’s two hours or an overnight stay, it’s the same.
It sounds like your partner may not be changing the allowance either, so I think it’s best to ask for clarification. With a two-day, one-night trip, they may say, “Isn’t that basically the same as a regular overnight stay?”
Hope this helps.
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> I’m not sure how to decide on the allowance for a two-day, one-night trip.
I think you should ask him, “How do you usually handle the allowance when traveling together?”
Some men consider the trip itself a gift equivalent to an allowance, so make sure to ask clearly before you go. If you’re not satisfied with his answer, it’s probably best to politely turn down the trip for another reason.
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You should discuss it with him as early as possible.
For example, decide how much the allowance will be for a certain number of nights. Ideally, it would have been best to talk about it the moment the papa brought up the trip.
In my case, sometimes I don’t receive an allowance, while other times we discuss it and decide on one.
In the no-allowance version, the woman wants to travel abroad, so I cover all the expenses and don’t give her an allowance.
In the allowance version, I’m the one who suggests an overnight trip within Japan. In my case, for one night, I usually give the same allowance as I would for a regular meeting.
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For one overnight stay, it’s ¥50,000; for two nights, it’s ¥50,000 × 2, or ¥100,000.
By “one night,” I basically mean 24 hours. As long as it doesn’t exceed that, the allowance stays the same whether we have sex 20 times or not.
In exchange, so to speak, even if we have to part ways in less than an hour because we’re short on time, it’s still ¥50,000.
I have more than 10 women I’m seeing regularly under these terms, so it’s no problem for me. Any woman who insists on ¥100,000 pay-per-meeting isn’t someone I’d want to see anyway.
I’m not criticizing the person who asked the question or anything. They asked, “How do you all decide on the terms?” so I answered.
> I still wonder if she broke things off because I went too far.
That’s certainly possible—I have no way of confirming it since she disappeared—but I also feel that my interfering too much and trying to cure her binge-eating and purging may have been the bigger issue. Well, she’s gone now, so it doesn’t really matter. It’s in the past.
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The allowance changes depending on whether I’m the one inviting her on the trip or she’s inviting me.
- If the papa invites her, and the usual adult relationship (intimate) pay-per-meeting allowance is 100, I’d pay 200 for two days and one night.
- If the woman invites him, I’d pay 100 for the same trip.
That’s how I see it. Once it’s two nights and three days, I can’t really calculate it anymore, so I just made up a number on the spot.
In the past, there was a celebrity I met three or four times a month at 200 per meeting. I gave her 800 for a two-night, three-day trip to Hokkaido. We stayed in the same room, but nothing intimate happened.
At the time, that celebrity and Ace were the two main regulars in my monthly arrangements. When the celebrity quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), Queen came along. Queen and that celebrity are good friends.
I effectively made Ace and Queen exclusive, and now I’m struggling because I have less than ¥1 million a month to spend on papa-katsu. I need to earn more or I’m screwed.
Do you think the girl Mac was absolutely obsessed with—the one who left him a note and walked away—dumped him because he overdid it at night, late at night, and again in the morning?
She probably became his favorite because he could always be intimate with her and sleep while holding her. But if he only did it once whenever they met, then maybe Mac wouldn’t have become so attached to her in the first place.
I’m not making fun of him. I’ve had a girl who fit this pattern leave me too. She was very polite when she left, but even now I wonder if she dumped me because I was too intimate with her.
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