This is embarrassing to admit, but even though I’m in my 20s, I’ve never been with a man before, and the papa I’m currently seeing is my first partner.

Hmm… If your papa (a male supporter) won’t stop even after you tell him it hurts, I think you’d be better off ending things with him. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t something you should keep doing if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I’m worried that your body may continue rejecting it every time. If you can get aroused by masturbating, I think you’d be better off not limiting yourself to papa-katsu, but finding a kind, sexually skilled boyfriend or casual partner and gaining experience with enjoyable sex. Please don’t push yourself. I’d like to say that Fuu could date you and help you out, but Fuu is well-endowed, has a strong sex drive, and tends to be pretty rough, so I’ll leave the “being gentle” part to someone else. Personally, my monthly arrangements are with women who look innocent but are actually quite erotic, or women who can keep up with Fuu’s sex drive.

I think that guy was simply inexperienced. You should use plenty of lubricant. And by the way, there are lots of virgins in their 20s—and even their 30s. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

If you get very wet when you’re by yourself but not with your papa (a male supporter), I think it’s a matter of emotional compatibility rather than physical compatibility. Not stopping when a woman is in pain is abuse. It’s only natural that you wouldn’t get wet with someone like that.

I’ve heard that women get wet as a way of protecting themselves. I used to have a PJ I was in a genuinely serious relationship with (that phrasing sounds weird in Japanese), and she continued doing papa-katsu even after we started dating. She told me she “got wet” even with an older man she couldn’t possibly see as a man. I think the questioner should make an offer to Mac-san even if they’re not in Nagoya, since he’s the kind of person who’ll even cover the bullet-train fare. As for girls who don’t get wet… I’ve never met one through Universe Club or Patolo. That said, I have experienced how much it can vary. The college student I’m currently in a serious relationship with, whom I met through Universe Club, started getting wet completely differently as soon as she began seeing me as her boyfriend. She even flatters me by saying, “It feels so much better♡” If she doesn’t get wet with Mac-san, I’ll be warming up in the on-deck circle.

You won’t know whether it’s a matter of compatibility or something on the questioner’s side unless you try with other men. If you can come to Nagoya, I could be your partner. It’s 50,000 yen for an adult relationship (intimate), pay-per-meeting. Download and register on the Patro app, then you’ll find a Nagoya male member named “Mac.” Send him a message saying, “I’m the person who asked the question.” If you go to UniB, you’ll have to pay an offer fee, so message me before going in for the interview lol. As for pain, this is only based on my experience, but the man should move extremely slowly. How slowly? Maybe about one centimeter per minute. If he positions himself and lets the pressure gradually sink in, that’s about the pace. Lubricant is essential. If the woman says it hurts, stop and stay still. Above all, make her feel safe knowing that if she says it hurts, you’ll stop. That’s far more important than foreplay. Foreplay only helps once it no longer hurts. Hugging is important too. Also, have her give you oral and compliment her by saying it feels good and that she’s good at it. Confidence helps her relax. If she’s comfortable having someone nearby, you could invite someone over, eat together, and get to know each other first. Then she could hold the woman’s hand or hug her upper body while you proceed. In most cases, the pain goes away after having sex about three times, and it naturally starts to feel good. But if she endures too much pain, it can apparently become traumatic, and some women overreact with “It hurts” even when the penis merely touches the vaginal opening. First, the man needs to move slowly and give her the confidence to think, “This doesn’t hurt!” No matter how much you improve the foreplay, it means nothing if it still hurts. I’ve even made a virgin orgasm through penetration on the very first day. Girls who are already experienced and can climax easily are fine too, but there’s something special about developing that ability yourself. > From a man’s perspective, it’s incredibly gratifying when a woman who never gets wet starts to get a little wet... I can’t say I feel that way myself. Apparently, some people get wet even when they’re being raped. https://x.com/wopocco/status/1741433952852992459 It’s merely a physical response, a reflex. No matter how hard a man tries—or how hard a woman tries—it usually won’t compare to the pleasure she feels when masturbating herself lol. In the end, what masturbation can’t satisfy is a real pussy, not a penis. Lubricant is like cooking oil. If there isn’t enough, you just add more. It doesn’t determine the taste of the ingredients or the eater’s sense of taste.

Some women simply have a very difficult time getting wet. That said, her papa (a male supporter) sounds like someone who can’t wait for her to get aroused. If both people genuinely want to enjoy themselves together, he would probably wait until she became even slightly aroused and wouldn’t try to force things along. For a man, it can be incredibly satisfying to see a woman who wasn’t responding at all begin to respond, even just a little. So I think it’s best to move on to the next stage only after she starts feeling something, however slightly. First, I hope you can build a caring connection that helps her feel comfortable and responsive. There’s really no need to force yourselves to use lubricant. For men, using lubricant—even if it seems unavoidable—can feel somewhat mechanical and, in a sense, humiliating (feeling that he isn’t arousing her, that she isn’t interested in him, and experiencing a sense of defeat). It may leave him feeling less motivated to genuinely engage. Even if he manages to reach climax, he may still be unable to shake that feeling of defeat. To fulfill the man’s sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, connection, and conquest, I don’t really recommend using lubricant. I think there’s almost no reason for a club woman who doesn’t get wet without lubricant to meet with someone.

What kind of problems occur when you say, “Something always goes wrong with my private parts after intimacy”? Is it inflammation or something similar? If using lubricant causes inflammation, it seems like the problem may be with the lubricant itself. I’ve hardly ever heard of this happening with regular lubricants, so perhaps it contains something that ordinary lubricants don’t. You might want to try buying a few different types and find one that doesn’t cause any pain.

Looks like you’re getting plenty of bites.