In exchange for not seeing multiple men, he agreed to increase my monthly allowance. Since this involved money, I wanted to discuss it in person rather than over LINE, so I brought it up myself while we were meeting face-to-face.
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He had suggested this arrangement before, but I turned him down at the time. However, I’ve become tired of being intimate with multiple men, so this time I asked him myself.
I was relieved when he readily agreed, but he didn’t give me any money when we left the room. I assumed he would give it to me when we went out for dinner, but even after we finished eating, nothing happened. In the end, he handed it to me in the envelope from the ATM, right next to the station where people were passing by.
He was about to give it to me, saying, “It’s a small amount, just what we agreed on today…” I told him, “I’d like to start this arrangement from this month,” and somehow he managed to prepare the full amount. Still, I’m now worried about continuing to see him.
When we first started meeting, he would give me the money as soon as I entered the room and even tell me to check it in front of him. But as we continued seeing each other, he started giving it to me when we were leaving the room. This time, he handed it to me at the station with the ATM envelope fully exposed, which was embarrassing.
He also seems to really enjoy sexual conversations, comparing women’s private parts to food and making nothing but dirty jokes even when restaurant staff are sitting right in front of us at the counter.
He’s extremely controlling, and honestly, he seems like the kind of man many women would find physically off-putting. He’s very heavyset and doesn’t seem particularly clean or well-groomed.
I thought I could put up with it for the money, but should I reconsider my relationship with him? Seeing multiple other men besides him is physically harder, but mentally, I actually find that easier, so I’m conflicted.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
The unpleasant aspects include:
- He handed me an envelope inside the station, which was embarrassing.
- He kept making dirty jokes, even at a counter seat with staff right in front of us.
- He seems to really enjoy sexual talk and compares women’s intimate parts to food.
- He’s very possessive.
- To be honest, I find his appearance physically off-putting.
There’s a lot written along those lines.
At the end, she says, “I thought I could put up with it for the money.” That makes me think she feels she may not actually be able to endure it.
Based on this, it sounds like even weighing the money against the relationship would be too difficult for her.
If that’s the case, I think it’s fine for her to be honest with her own feelings.
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Doesn’t it seem risky to stick with someone who’s intimidating-looking and extremely controlling??
If things continue like this, you’re five seconds away from a mental breakdown.
I can imagine you’re putting up with it because the allowance is really good, but rather than relying only on him, why not keep him as an option while seeing two or three other people at the same time?
I think the mental toll is harder to deal with than the physical side.
It might be best to keep the promising ones and continue looking for new people along the way.
Hope this helps.
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I’ve been active in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for quite a long time, and based on my experience, seeing around three partners seems to provide the best balance of emotional and physical stability and fulfillment for both men and women. With about three people, I think you can find partners you feel comfortable and relaxed with.
Honestly, I have a hard time understanding why you want a one-on-one arrangement with a man whose terms seem so unfavorable. From what you’ve written, he comes across as insincere, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended things at any time.
This isn’t dating or marriage, so things can get difficult if you don’t handle the situation with a certain amount of practicality.
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There’s no way it’s truly one-on-one.
I have several women who give off the impression that it’s an exclusive arrangement, but in reality, it’s one man seeing ten women.
A papa (a male supporter) with good terms doesn’t need to limit himself to just one partner. And by “good terms,” I mean not only the allowance, but also cleanliness, personality, and so on.
For the person asking, the only realistic option is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with multiple papas (male supporters). Even if you find the perfect papa (male supporter) and think it’s an exclusive arrangement, he’s probably supporting several women anyway. You might want to tell yourself, “I’m fine being one of ten. It’s easier than dealing with multiple papas (male supporters),” but since there’s always a risk of being cut off, I think it’s best to keep multiple papas (male supporters) in the mix.
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Well, at the end of the day, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t something you should keep doing if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Even if you have multiple papas, you could simply part ways with the ones you don’t like and have an intimate relationship with the papas you’re comfortable with.
That said, when he says, “I want you to be exclusive with me,” he may feel excited—but if the woman says it, he might lose interest and feel like it’s all about the money.
I have a feeling that papa may actually be the one to bring up ending things, and that the arrangement might just fade out, leaving her to go back to having multiple papas...
People can be so contradictory. If they made too many demands for money and came on too aggressively, Fuu would back off.
Fuu would never say, “You have to be exclusive with me,” though...
Bringing notions of fidelity into papa-katsu has to be the least compatible thing ever, lol. If it’s exclusive to one person, it’s basically no different from dating—or marriage, lol.
It seems like that creates a contradiction, since it goes against the original purpose of papa-katsu... ^_^
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You were tired of having intimate relationships with multiple men, so you chose this man and suggested becoming exclusive with him, right?
From what you’ve written, it doesn’t seem like his words or actions changed after you decided to see only him—they’ve apparently been the same all along.
Even based solely on what you included in your question, the situation sounds incoherent, so I suggest taking a step back, calming down, and sorting through your thoughts.
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