I’m not comfortable with using saliva as lube.

As Mac mentioned, I think it would be a good idea to buy and use the type of product you insert there right beforehand. However, as Kazu also mentioned, there are men who may think, “Is she a sex worker—or someone with experience in that industry?” In those cases, it could affect your relationship afterward. That said, I think most people won’t notice (although I feel it may be closer to a 60–40 split). So if you use it and they don’t say anything, it’s probably safe to assume they didn’t notice. However, there is a possibility they may figure it out because you go to the bathroom immediately after entering the hotel. (In that case, you might need to act like, “I’ve needed to use the bathroom since before we came to the hotel, but I’ve been holding it,” though if you do that every time, they may wonder why you always need to go. So in the end, it may not make much difference.) Also, I think it would be fine to gently tell him that you’re not comfortable with saliva as lubricant. If you explain it as kindly as possible, some men may put two and two together. Since many men want oral sex, most probably won’t mind saliva, so I think there are quite a few who won’t notice.

I don’t see anything wrong with saying it. You can just explain that your skin is sensitive and gets irritated, so you’d rather he didn’t use saliva. Does that make it sound like you have a lot of experience? Since you’re only stating a fact, I don’t think it would come across that way… If you’re not getting wet, or not wet enough, try searching for “Inner Jelly Prepair.” I’ve heard that girls in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) who have trouble getting wet use it. It’s apparently for papas who can’t get you wet, lol. There are definitely plenty of papas who are terrible at foreplay, lol. After showering, you put it in without your papa noticing, then head to the bed, lol. Apparently, it’s made in Japan by a cosmetics company, and the ingredients are supposed to be safe (use at your own discretion). Fuu has also met several women who didn’t or couldn’t get wet, so I always carry single-use lubricant with me. I’m not really a fan of the feel of lubricant, so my regular partners naturally tend to be women who get wet easily… I’m slightly prone to taking a long time, so if the lubricant makes things too slippery, I honestly can’t finish.

I hadn’t thought of using saliva as lube. Even if a woman doesn’t get wet easily, it’s gratifying for a man when she gradually starts to. Cunnilingus is nice too, but if she doesn’t like it, being able to tell how wet she’s getting can be exciting in its own way. Even when penetration happens right away, there are times when a woman is already wet if she wants it. There’s no need to penetrate or continue when she isn’t. I don’t think there’s any reason to keep seeing a man who shows that little consideration. Also, since it doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying the adult side of things—or even feeling that it happens very often—I can’t really say papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is a good fit for you.

I carry personal lubricant for women who have trouble getting wet, rather than lotion. What if you brought some lubricant yourself and offered it by saying, “This feels better when you use it”?

Products like Inner Jelly or Girl Jelly are available on Amazon. It’s a good idea to buy one, bring it with you, and insert it in the bathroom right beforehand. I’m also the type who barely does any foreplay and just goes straight to penetration, so I used to use spit as lube. But a girl once asked me to stop, and that made me realize it. Since then, I carry 5cc single-use packets of a lubricant called Aqua Lotion along with the condoms. They’re the same size as a condom packet, so they’re discreet and convenient. You can buy them on Rakuten. A lot of men won’t notice unless a woman tells them, and many will correct themselves once they do, so please let them know. From a man’s perspective, or at least how it feels to me, it’s basically, “If licking is good, why isn’t using spit as lube okay?” Maybe there’s a psychological aspect to it too. > You don’t have to penetrate or keep going when she isn’t wet. I enjoy that gradual change where she gets wetter as we keep going after penetration, so sorry 😆 In the end, she orgasms from penetration alone. That’s pure dick power. Relying on foreplay is a disgraceful shortcut—it’s like admitting defeat before the fight even starts 😂 A real man keeps quiet and goes for a single straight-up showdown lol Seriously, everyone does way too much in the name of foreplay, licking wherever they feel like and adding all sorts of unnecessary extras. Foreplay starts after penetration. Specifically, it’s about finding the right spot. Watch her expressions and reactions, change the angle or position, and once you figure out where it is, focus on that one point. The real service to a woman begins after penetration. Forget the appetizers—the quality of the main course is what matters. Seriously, I’m a one-sword-style dick fighter, so I guess I’ll retire gracefully if I ever start going soft. The smooth, foreplay-heavy approach just isn’t for me. I don’t know how many years I have left, but I’ll keep moving forward. Thrust, thrust, thrust—go, Joe Yabuki!

It sounds like you don’t get wet very easily. In my experience, I’ve never even considered repeatedly applying saliva during penetration, so I assumed you must be extremely dry. No matter when you bring it up, they’ll probably realize you have experience, so I think you’re better off accepting that and mentioning it at the beginning. For the delicate area, it’s better to use lubricating jelly rather than lotion. Since the other person probably won’t bring any, and the hotel likely won’t have any either, why not bring some yourself and offer it by saying, “Please use this”? Adding this after reading Fuu’s answer: > I tend to be a delayed ejaculator, so if there’s too much lubrication, I honestly can’t finish lol I know what you mean. When the other person gets really wet, there’s too much slipping and it’s hard to finish. One more addition: If someone used an insertable lubricant like Wettra early on, while we were still getting to know each other, I’d be surprised—not because of how many partners they’d had, but because it would make them seem like a sex worker. If you don’t want to come across as overly experienced, personally, I’d rather be told directly, “I’d like to use some lubricating jelly,” instead of seeing someone resort to some strange trick. Adding this after reading Maezawa’s answer: > If you put it in and they don’t say anything, I think it’s safe to assume they didn’t notice. Speaking only for myself, if someone did that silently, I’d assume she might be the type to quietly pull little tricks like that. If I noticed several things along those lines, I’d gradually distance myself.

If your papa (a male supporter) doesn’t change even after you’ve politely told him once, it’s probably best to end things. Buy some lotion and take it with you, prepared to walk away if necessary.