A man I’ve met twice asked me to see him from now on under a plan of hotel → dinner → hotel.
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When I turned him down, he canceled at the last minute. After that, he said he’d lost interest because I rejected him, and asked why I had no stamina despite working out at the gym regularly.
Even on our usual dates, he spends about two and a half hours at the hotel and has difficulty getting aroused, so I’m worried that this plan would last an extremely long time. Even when I tell him it causes me vaginal pain, he won’t accept it.
I know I should end things, but I’d appreciate advice on what exactly I should tell him and whether I should be honest about the reasons.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
They’re already saying they’ve lost interest, and the fact that they’re canceling at the last minute is reason enough to cut them off immediately. But you could also tell them exactly how you feel, then block them on LINE and say goodbye.
Time to move on to the next one!
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Don’t make another date with him. I think it’s fine to block him on LINE.
After all, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t something you should continue if it’s making you uncomfortable.
Wait for an offer from your next papa (a male supporter)—someone who won’t make unreasonable demands and will keep his promises.
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I think it’s a waste of time to keep thinking about someone you’ve only met twice—and who even canceled your third meeting at the last minute.
It sounds like you’ve already told them how you feel, so what exactly are you hoping to hear?
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I understand going from the hotel to dinner, but are we going back to the hotel again?
Try messaging: “Would that be two allowances? Or would you be willing to pay by the hour?”
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There’s nothing to gain from going on and on to someone you’re planning to break things off with. Even if you’re trying to help by explaining things, it’s pointless if they misunderstand you and end up resenting you. The safest option is to delete the message without reading it—or better yet, block them too.
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With a plan like hotel → dinner → hotel, do you mean using a love hotel’s daytime stay plan (around seven hours, for example) and eating there?
If so, you’d be spending a long time at the hotel, so it really comes down to whether this is someone you’d enjoy spending that much time with.
And if he says he’s lost interest because you turned him down, then he’s already checked out emotionally. I don’t think there’s much benefit in continuing with him.
If you’re staying at a city hotel, hotel → go out for dinner → hotel should be possible, but you’d still only receive one allowance, right? In that case, I’m even more puzzled as to why you’d want to continue seeing him.
You should probably be honest and tell him that you’re worried it would be an extremely long arrangement. I think he’s looking for a woman who’s willing to go on long dates, so your expectations simply don’t match.
I think you’d be better off looking for someone who’s a better fit for you.
Maybe you’re trying to make it work because you’re not getting many offers, but even so, I don’t think you should force yourself.
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If you’ve only met twice, then this isn’t a monthly arrangement, right? In that case, you can simply avoid making any further plans without saying anything.
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A sandwich at a hotel for a meal? That’s a first. What a creepy old guy....
Of course, breaking things off is the only option, but the fact that you’re asking this probably means you’re still reluctant to let go from a business standpoint, right?
This is the opposite situation, but besides my two main partners, I currently have two “girlfriends” I met through Universe Club. Sorry, I know that sounds creepy.
Since they’re my girlfriends, our dates are incredibly long—sometimes as long as 12 hours. Honestly, I find myself thinking, “This is so looong. I want to go home already.”
They’re both young, beautiful women, while I’m an old, unattractive guy. Even with that huge imbalance in my favor, I still find long dates unpleasant. So having to spend a long time on a date with some old guy from papa-katsu must be torture, not just painful. Read-receipted and then left unread—in other words, I think it’s perfectly fine to end things.
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