I don’t want things to get stale with my favorite papa. I don’t have much experience, so he naturally takes the lead when we’re intimate.

When I was taking papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) seriously, I struggled with the same thing. At the time, I watched a lot of adult videos and studied them. It helped me learn techniques, and I also realized, “So this kind of expression or reaction comes across as sexy to men,” and tried incorporating some of them myself. Even sample videos can be helpful, so it can be fun to imitate little things you think look cute. That said, if your partner is the type who likes to take the lead, I don’t think you have to force yourself to take control. Simply matching their pace and enjoying the time together is attractive enough in itself. Most importantly, don’t forget to enjoy yourself while worrying, “I have to make them like me” or “I have to try harder.” Please don’t push yourself too much. P.S. Makeo-san, Yes. These days, I’m doing papa-katsu in a very unserious, zero-hospitality mode ☺️ “You adjust to me!” is far too terrifying for me to say to anyone but Makeo-san. I’m always the one giving way by three steps 🥺

I’m Fullerene! You sound like such a sweet person! Since you said your papa (a male supporter) is someone who likes to plan, how about suggesting a plan like, “Next time, I’d like to try doing what I want in bed”? You could even set a time limit—say, 10 minutes. It’s difficult because you’re trying to figure things out in the heat of the moment. If you make a plan in advance, though, you may be able to follow it as planned. If you’d like, please post an update later!

As Mac said, everyone has different preferences, and what they want from a partner varies widely. If you genuinely like this man and hope for a long-lasting relationship, it might be best to let him take the lead. You could also test the waters gently and see how he reacts—for example, giving his nipple a light nibble while you’re licking it. If you pay close attention to his reaction, you should be able to tell whether to take things further or back off.

It’s a bit cliché, but sexy lingerie or cosplay might work. If it gets them excited, they may naturally become more proactive than usual.

I know it’s difficult, but maybe try talking to him little by little while gauging his reactions. Every now and then, take the initiative and see how he responds. As soon as you enter the room, sit next to him and hold his hand. Try kissing him right away. While you’re on top, kiss him with an excited look on your face. Move your hips yourself while you’re on top. Try saying, “That feels good—do more.” Move your hips yourself from behind. When you’re in the 69 position, get so carried away that things start to get a little messy. Wait—those are all things Fuu wants you to do! Haha. Try them, and if papa looks happy, do them again. If he seems surprised or uncomfortable, stop. This is just speculation, but if he says, “I’ll leave it up to you,” he might be a good papa. A papa who likes you to take the initiative will probably tell you what he wants, like Fuu did. It’s a difficult balance, though. Aggressive, sex-worker-style eroticism isn’t appealing. Maybe the best approach is to show pleasure occasionally, with a little shyness? ^_^

What makes someone happy varies from person to person. Rather than asking strangers what they think, I think it’s better to seriously consider what your partner would appreciate.

Personally, I think someone who doesn’t overthink things like that is best. It feels more natural not to have the mindset of, “I’m getting paid, so I should do ◯◯…” From the way you’ve worded it, it really comes across as feeling like a job because you’re being paid. My biggest hope is that she enjoys herself first and foremost. And I don’t think things become boring the deeper the relationship gets—especially when it’s papa-katsu with an allowance. I think building that kind of relationship is the best way to avoid eventually parting ways. Men aren’t stupid either, so I don’t think many of them are happy simply because they got something in return for the money they gave.

If what you want is to be liked and keep seeing them, I think it’s important to consider whether they genuinely want you to improve your technique or conversation skills to make your intimate time more fulfilling, or whether that’s simply what you want regardless of how they feel. Even if it’s not what they want, it’s fine to prioritize yourself if that’s truly what you want. Just keep in mind that doing so could bring your ongoing relationship to an end. First, it’s important to find out what they like about you, and whether there’s anything they wish you would change. They may actually feel that you’re best just the way you are now.

Human sexual preferences vary tremendously. In fact, many people don’t even fully understand their own preferences. I think the first thing you need to do is figure out your own preferences. From statements like, “Since I don’t have much experience, p naturally takes the lead during intimacy,” and “I get the feeling p may have a submissive side. He’s never done anything particularly intense,” it sounds as though you may be feeling somewhat unfulfilled by your current intimate relationship. You wrote, “I don’t want things to become routine when I’m intimate with my favorite papa,” but could it be that your own preferences aren’t being fulfilled, rather than simply wanting your papa (a male supporter) to like you even more? There’s a test called BDSMTest (https://bdsmtest.org/), so I suggest starting with that. I’ve also written some related articles, so please take a look if you’re interested: https://lab.universe-club.jp/column/bdsmtest https://lab.universe-club.jp/column/sm-shousai After that, it would be helpful to have your papa take the BDSMTest as well, so you can compare the results and learn more about his preferences. Depending on your relationship, though, it may be difficult to bring it up. In that case, you’ll probably have to observe him and gradually gauge his reactions. Your powers of observation will be put to the test. There’s also a sexuality test available here: https://jobrainbow.jp/discover_sexualities/ It can reveal unexpected aspects of your own or your partner’s sexual orientation, so it’s quite interesting to try. Many people say, “My preferences are normal,” but often they’re simply assuming, without any real basis, that their own “me-centered standard” is normal. Anyway, give it a try. I think that by exploring these things more deeply, you’ll naturally develop more skill and better conversation techniques for making your intimate time more fulfilling. Three Basic Rules for Sexual Preferences in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) 1. Don’t use money to pressure someone into accepting a preference they dislike. 2. Don’t put up with a partner’s preferences that don’t suit you just for the money. 3. Even when your preferences don’t match, there are relationships where both people can be satisfied with ordinary intimacy. These are principles I’ve just come up with and written down. That said, things like “training” or “development” can be acceptable, but to determine whether they’re suitable, it’s still important to identify each person’s inclinations through something like the BDSMTest. Experts may be able to do this through everyday observation, though.

You’re a goddess, questioner. I think the best thing to do is just talk to your papa honestly. Something like: “Hey, can I take the lead a little today? I kind of want to try being a bit S-like. I won’t if you don’t want me to.” Something along those lines. Routine can be a bad thing. Last night, I made out passionately with my PJ for about 30 minutes out in public—and she absolutely refused to accept any allowance or transportation money. We still haven’t done it, so I was incredibly excited and happy. Once we do, things might become routine, so right now is the most fun. P.S. So, Katase-san is doing this casually now, huh? LOL Are you basically telling your papa, “You adjust to me”?