The other day, a man who had offered to meet me told me that when he inquired about me through the club, they showed him some feedback that had been written about me in the past, and he shared the LINE messages with me.

Regarding this particular situation, how about telling them something like: “I heard from Ms. ○○ that my feedback says this, but that part isn’t accurate. What actually happened was this, and I believe that may be why it was written that way.” That way, the man will be recognized as someone who tells women everything, so people will know not to discuss things that aren’t listed on their profiles. As for the feedback, if the questioner’s account is considered more credible, the club will probably say something like: “There is feedback on record, and we will not delete it. However, it appears that this is what actually happened, so the club cannot determine which account is correct.” In other words, both sides of the story will only be shared once the woman’s account is considered credible. As for the future, I don’t think women will be able to view or correct feedback itself. (That said, it’s not impossible that this could change.) If women could review it, there would be a risk of identifying the man, and even negative feedback that was genuine might end up being corrected, which would defeat the purpose. So if you feel that something may be written about you after a date, it’s important to submit feedback in advance that helps counter that possibility. For example: “He invited me to a hotel after dinner, but his allowance was too low, so I declined, and he became angry,” or “He seemed unhygienic, so I declined after dinner, but I couldn’t say that directly and ended up telling him I had gotten my period.” I think you can probably imagine what kind of feedback the man might write in either case. That’s why it’s important to clearly state in your feedback that you declined because the allowance was too low or because he seemed unhygienic. Then, even if the man leaves negative feedback, other men may be told something like, “It seems the allowance was too low,” or “It seems he came across as unhygienic,” allowing them to understand what likely happened.

As everyone’s saying, that papa isn’t following the rules either, so I have to question his behavior. There’s also a chance he’s saying something different from his actual feedback. It may be difficult to have it corrected, but if, after meeting a papa, you feel that you weren’t compatible, didn’t see eye to eye, or that his feedback about you was likely negative, I think it’s best for you to leave feedback with the club as well, just in case. Think of it as putting your side on record. People can have very different perceptions and interpretations of the same situation. Just be polite when giving feedback to the club. You’ll be much better off if you can get the club staff on your side.

I think feedback can vary a lot depending on compatibility, so I try not to take other men’s impressions too much at face value. Something that comes across as cute to one person may sound cheeky to another. (That said, I don’t usually ask about it myself. Sometimes the person in charge will say something like, “This woman often gets this kind of feedback—what would you like to do?” If I’m told she frequently arrives late, cancels at the last minute, or changes plans, I might think it’s better to pass.) Women can probably give feedback on men too, but I imagine their comments are often somewhat influenced by their mood at the time. So rather than thinking, “I had no idea, but I guess some people may take it that way,” I think it’s better to treat it as a lesson for next time. That way, you may be able to enjoy your dating life even more.

I don’t think much of older men who casually blab about feedback they’ve received before, or men who have no problem telling women things like their class or rank. With people who can’t even follow such basic rules, I’d say it’s best to steer clear. Also, women should only be able to see feedback entries by hearing about them from these chatty older men. Since there’s no way to verify whether it’s true or not, requesting a correction would be impossible. The same goes for men, of course. Let’s not worry about that and just enjoy ourselves. Hope this helps.

I’m not quite sure what you mean by “being given the LINE contact,” but setting that aside. I don’t think much of trying to boost your own credibility by selling someone else out. I also don’t think it’s wise to blindly believe what people like that say. Most dating clubs have a rule that members must not show or disclose what’s written in a woman’s profile to her. Even so, apparently quite a few male members show or tell these things to women they’re meeting for the first time. Men who won’t even follow such basic rules probably won’t keep their promises to women either. Also, while I think it’s possible to consult the club if there’s information that differs from the facts, wouldn’t it just turn into a “he said, she said” situation unless you can prove that it’s untrue? As a male member, I view individual feedback as unreliable information based on the writer’s personal biases, much like online reviews. For example, I’ve repeatedly met women who had multiple comments saying things like, “She was awful about begging for gifts,” only to find that they never asked me for gifts and were actually very pleasant.

If it isn’t true, I think you should contact the club and let them know. However, the club would probably have to tell the male member who inquired, “We received this feedback in the past, although the woman herself says it isn’t true.” You say you’re worried that this information is being shared with people you haven’t actually met, but wouldn’t “uncomfortable” be a more accurate description than “worried”? I understand how you feel, but when you consider that the club prioritizes its service to the men who pay, I think it’s unavoidable.