We started seeing each other through Type C, and I suppose we’ve met around ten times now. The allowance is fairly generous, and with meals, drinks, and the occasional bit of shopping, each date comes to about ¥150,000–¥200,000. We meet two or three times a month, and personally, I felt that was about as far as I wanted to go.
This content is machine-translated.
When we were talking about when we might eventually part ways, he said, “As long as the woman is satisfied, everything should be fine.” Then, right after that, she emailed me saying she wanted a pair of designer shoes costing around ¥150,000. Somehow, it really turned me off. I do like her, though…
I’d appreciate your thoughts on how this is likely to end and how I should handle the situation. Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
💗Likes0👁️Views1,015💬Answers15
🔖ID$1}61-[2nR/🎯Looking for answers from
代表者
スタッフ
男性会員
コラムライター
No matter how wonderful the dream was, once you wake up, you can’t lose yourself in it again. You simply say, “Thank you for the beautiful dream. But somehow, I’ve woken up now,” express your gratitude for everything up to that point, and let it end there. If you hold on, all you’ll do is let the memory of that beautiful dream fade. Truly delicious food is best when you stop just short of feeling completely satisfied.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I think the issue may have been that you weren’t able to set clear boundaries with her.
When you give in to a certain extent early on, the woman may come to assume, “So this much is okay.” Ideally, you should have gradually communicated from an earlier stage what you could and couldn’t do.
Of course, she should have read the situation as well.
However, in this world, some people really are incredibly generous, so it’s not unusual for women to develop a skewed sense of what’s normal.
If that request made you lose interest, then it went beyond what you were comfortable with.
That said, from her perspective, she may simply have thought, “It was okay before, so I figured it would be okay this time too.”
So rather than cutting her off emotionally, I feel the only thing you can do going forward is clearly tell her, “I’m not comfortable going that far.”
I hope you’re able to communicate that successfully.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
As soon as I start feeling uncomfortable, I move to cut things off. I don’t understand why the papa side would be the one feeling stressed.
Yesterday, one girl sent me three LINE messages asking when we could meet next, so I’m trying to figure out how to fade things out while riding the Shinkansen.
Anyway, getting back to the point: if you can spend 150,000–200,000 yen per meeting, make offers aggressively and find a woman who feels like the right fit!
Just my two cents.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If there’s some issue with the questioner—like being extremely unattractive or lacking basic grooming—and this is the only woman who seems willing to date him, then I suppose he has no choice but to continue.
But if that’s not the case, and he can make offers and date other women, I think he should make plenty of offers and find someone else he’s actually comfortable with.
What I don’t understand is why anyone would continue a relationship they’re not satisfied with, especially when they’re paying for it.
As for me, I’d tell her, “If that’s how it is, I’m fine with ending things.”
I don’t give presents in the first place. I tell them to use their allowance to buy whatever they want. So if she still keeps asking me for presents, I’ll end the relationship.
That said, since this is the kind of relationship where the other person’s attitude can suddenly change and leave you feeling uncomfortable, I recommend seeing multiple partners.
If you spread out your emotional investment, you can protect yourself emotionally: “Things didn’t go well with this girl today, but I’ll just end things and have amazing sex with that other girl next week.”
I think you feel so conflicted because you’re relying on just one person.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
The best thing is to keep it transactional and move on to supporting the next wonderful person. (Sorry for sounding presumptuous.)
When I meet someone special, my middle-aged pride gets in the way, and I tend to tell them only the good things, which makes me a pretty hopeless middle-aged man. I once covered ¥500,000 in moving expenses for someone I was introduced to through another club, but after I provided the money, our schedules gradually stopped lining up and the relationship eventually faded away.
I’ve come to realize that it’s important not only to provide financial support, but also to develop the personal maturity to genuinely think about the other person.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I used to give gifts fairly often, but only for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas.
I’ve never had an arrangement last long with a woman who was constantly asking for things.
It’s true that a slight sense of discomfort can often be what brings things to an end. Once that discomfort outweighs the overall happiness, it feels like it’s time to part ways.
I do think you need to set some kind of limit, just like with online games. But I also feel that you can’t really know where to draw that line until you’ve gone all in at least once.
Since more and more wonderful women are joining the site, I think it’s better to pursue a new dream rather than force yourself to keep an arrangement going.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Even if I spend 20, I’ll meet her if I want to. If it’s not worth the cost, I’ll politely say goodbye.
Basically, it’s better not to give gifts from the start. I’d rather increase the cash allowance by that amount and decline gifts.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
A big-spending papa who pays 20 per meeting recently appeared for one of my monthly arrangement partners, whom I pay 10 per meeting.
It made me realize there are still plenty of wealthy papas out there in Universe Club. Good for her!
By the way, when my monthly partner told me about him—the papa offering 20 per meeting—I immediately replied, “Then you should prioritize him♪”
After that, her LINE messages suddenly stopped, probably because she realized she’d miscalculated. Maybe she was trying to get me to increase my allowance, but I already have a whole group of beautiful women, so it wouldn’t faze me at all if someone left.
If the person asking can spend 15–20 per date, forming a group of beautiful women should be easy. I’d suggest lowering that woman’s ranking, reducing how often you see her, and making offers to new women instead.
P.S. Numachan, you’re welcome☆
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Which feeling is stronger: that you’ve cooled off, or that you still like her? If you feel more strongly that you’ve cooled off, then even if the relationship ends, I don’t think you’d feel much regret.
So I think it would be fine to say something like:
“I’d like to buy you designer shoes, but from now on I’m thinking of limiting presents to Christmas and your birthday. I’m sorry.”
If she said, “I’m fine as long as I feel fulfilled,” then there’s a good chance the relationship will end once she no longer feels fulfilled. Even so, I think there’s also a good chance she’ll stay with you thinking, “At least I can still get something expensive for Christmas and my birthday.”
(In reality, the presents may continue as before, but I think that will depend on how things go between you in the meantime.)
A man who accommodates a woman’s wants is wonderful, but if you’ve started thinking, “I can’t go any further than this,” then I think you’ve reached your limit.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I think you should give her a gift for her birthday or Christmas.
Well, if you’re spending 150,000–200,000 yen per meeting, you could probably find another good woman as well.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You should think it through and make your own decision. That’s what living is all about—one decision after another.
Besides, I think it’s pointless to comment on someone else’s allowance. If both people involved are satisfied, they should continue; if not, they should part ways. Other people can’t know what feels acceptable to those directly involved.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I completely understand your feelings—if you like her that much, it’s hard to know what to do.
First, how much do you really like her?
And what kind of relationship can you build together?
I think you should make your decision as your feelings grow. If you truly feel that you’ll almost certainly never meet another woman you like this much, then I think it’s worth continuing.
Honestly, I’d like to tell you to get completely hooked and keep seeing her, but…
Come on.
A pair of shoes costing ¥150,000…
Even one-tenth of that would be ¥15,000.
And if it were clothing, it could be a fraction of that.
On top of that:
“It’s fine as long as the woman is satisfied.”
??? Isn’t that answer completely missing the point?
After all, it’s perfectly understandable for the woman to worry about when the relationship might end.
Ideally, you should ease her anxiety and give her a sense of security so that the relationship can continue long-term…
If you’re the one feeling anxious, then something is already wrong.
From the way you’ve written this, it sounds like she sees you as a source of money…
**追加**
Regarding “what to do”:
If the amount is roughly what you normally spend on your dates, then you’ll have no choice but to buy it.
According to reports from beautiful women who joined dating clubs, some say they receive Rolex watches, expensive gifts, overseas trips, and one lavish present after another—even from supporters they can barely stand talking to.
For those women, the real gift is going out together normally, without any allowance involved.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
As others have said, I think it’s fine to limit gifts to birthdays and Christmas. Personally, I’ve never received or asked for gifts outside of those kinds of occasions, so I’m honestly impressed!
You like the woman you’re currently seeing, but you’re starting to lose interest and aren’t sure whether to end things, right? If so, be honest and give her these two options: either meet less often so you can buy her those designer shoes, or keep meeting as before but reduce the gifts. Don’t present breaking up as an option.
Then see how she responds. Does she want designer gifts, or would she rather keep things as they are? She might even be the one to suggest ending things. If that happens, you could try making offers to different women through the club and find someone else you click with and like!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
