Is it okay to tell him how I’m using the allowance I receive for an adult relationship, or is it better not to?
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I’m a streamer, so I have a lot of expenses for equipment, supplies, and advertising. That’s why I joined this club and currently see just one person on a monthly arrangement.
Since I started receiving the allowance, I’ve been able to buy equipment I couldn’t afford before, run ads, and get the supplies I need. I’m genuinely grateful.
Would it be okay to tell him things like, “I was able to use the allowance this way,” or “I bought this with it”?
Or does mentioning the allowance itself sound unpleasant, in which case would it be better not to say anything at all?
I think it depends on what the gift was for.
More importantly, though, why do you want to tell him?
If you simply want to show your appreciation, I think sincerely thanking him is enough—you don’t necessarily have to explain how you spent it. What matters isn’t so much what you used it for, but expressing your gratitude.
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If it’s never come up in conversation before, I don’t think there’s any need to bring it up.
You’re free to use the money however you want, so you’re presumably spending it on what you want. I don’t think there’s any reason to go out of your way to tell him.
I’ve never had that kind of conversation with women I’ve met more than 500 or even 1,000 times. The word “allowance” has never even come up.
If you buy a car, the amount he’s given you in allowance has already exceeded its cost. If you buy something else, he’s already given you more than enough to cover it. Neither of us feels the need to know what the money was spent on or where it came from.
In my family, my daughter reports almost every day where she went and what she bought. But with my son, it’s more like, “Don’t ask where he’s going today. Don’t interfere…”
If you’re a woman and genuinely want to talk about it, I don’t think you need to hold back.
Also, if it’s equipment or something else you can go shopping for together, it’s certainly possible that he might buy it for you separately from your allowance.
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Hmm, I wonder which is better. I’ve never received or heard of any reports about it, so I don’t think it really matters either way.
That said, it could be a good idea since it gives you something in common to talk about when you meet.
Hope that helps.
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It depends on the person.
If someone sees papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as a fantasy or more like pseudo-romance, they might not want to hear about your allowance.
If he knows you’re a livestreamer, though, it might be okay to tell him.
If you’re only seeing one person, breaking up would really hurt, so not telling him keeps the risk at zero.
Like Fuu, if you’re the kind of woman who can talk about pretty much anything—other papas, work, even the details of sex with a friend with benefits (though I wouldn’t ask about that myself)—then I think it’s fine to bring it up if you have that kind of open relationship. lol
As an aside, if you found about two more papas, you could probably invest more and expand your activities, though...
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I don’t think asking the respondents here about that would be particularly helpful.
If you think your partner would be happy to hear it, then say it. If not, there’s no need to.
For now, as long as you’re expressing your thanks for the allowance in words, that’s enough. I’d also appreciate other forms of thanks, such as the kind of date you plan or a gift.
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If it’s something related to how you said in your profile that you’d use the money, I don’t see any problem with it at all. Most men would probably be happy to hear something like, “I was able to buy the equipment I need to work as a livestreamer, and it’s been really well received!”
Since this world is basically built around receiving an allowance, I think it feels meaningful to the person giving it when they know you’re using it in a positive way.
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I think it depends on the person and what you’re talking about.
Personally, while talking with someone I’m seeing, they sometimes tell me what they used the allowance for. Other times, they’ll say they need money for something and ask me to meet with them a few more times that month.
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It depends on the relationship…
My allowance isn’t particularly generous to begin with, so I don’t ask them to report back on how they use it… 😅 But when they do, I start wondering, “Is it really that little?” and whether this arrangement will last. Still, please feel free to use it however you like.
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As Mac says, I think it depends on what you use the money for, but there have been several times when telling my papa how I spent the allowance led him to give me extra.
“I was short on this month’s credit card payment, so this really helps.” → “Will what I gave you today cover it? If not, I’ll add more.”
“I’m going to use it for my flight home to visit my family.” → “Then I’ll give you a little extra so you can treat your parents to something nice.”
“I was able to buy lots of summer clothes for my kids.” → “You didn’t buy any summer clothes for yourself? I’ll give you enough for that next time, too.”
Those are all things that have actually happened to me.
As long as you’re telling the truth and it’s not something that papa would disapprove of, I think it’s perfectly fine to let him know how you’re using the money.
If you’re a livestreamer, then you’re using it for your work equipment, so hopefully he’ll want to support you and give you a little extra allowance!
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For that kind of use, I’d be happy to support it. I suppose it depends on what the money is being used for.
I once paid to have a soundproof room built for a girl who streamed ASMR. It cost around ¥600,000, if I remember correctly.
Edit:
> Why does the questioner want to tell him about it?
This is just my guess, but you want him to be happy with you, right? Personally, I’d be happy that you wanted to share your joy with me, so I’d actually like you to tell me specifically. I’d love to celebrate it with you.
Even if you became successful as a streamer, graduated from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and moved on, I think I’d still see you off with warm feelings. It might be a little bittersweet, though.
That’s just how I feel. I think it’s great that there are all kinds of men out there.
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