I’m scared that I’m about to lose my monthly arrangement.
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We agreed to meet twice a month, and at first he saw me a lot, but this month he only met me once because he said he was busy. He did suggest having a phone call instead, though…
His allowance is generous, and he’s handsome and kind. I like him so much that I almost wish he could become my real parent. I’ve been doing my best to keep him interested by wearing clothes he likes and going to the spa before seeing him.
Is meeting less often a sign that things are about to end? I’d appreciate any advice on what I can do.
The fact that he suggested having a phone call to make up for not being able to meet makes me feel that you don’t need to be quite so pessimistic.
When a man is genuinely losing interest, he often tries to minimize anything that feels like a hassle. So the fact that he’s trying to make time for you in another way, instead of simply accepting that you can’t meet, may actually be a sign that the relationship has become more stable.
That said, I do feel that your anxiety may be getting stronger because he has become more important to you.
It’s only natural to worry, “Maybe he’s getting tired of me?” when you start seeing each other less often.
So for now, I think the most important thing for you to be careful about is not taking all of that anxiety out on him.
If you panic and chase him too much, he may end up feeling like he’s being blamed despite being busy.
Women who know how to wait are strong 💪
Men often find themselves thinking more about women who don’t chase them too much.
You’ve already been trying hard enough, so for now, try to relax a little and wait with the mindset of, “I’m going to let him spoil me all next month 🥳”
I’m rooting for you.
P.S.
Ringo-sensei and Masato Fukuoka, thank you in advance.
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Since it’s ultimately about how he feels, there’s not really any effective strategy—anything you do would just be a drop in the bucket. So I’d prepare yourself for that day and focus on enjoying each meeting until then, savoring every moment.
If you keep telling yourself, “This might be the last time. I’ll make it bright and fun,” and put on a smile, the tears might come naturally. If they do, that’s your opening. He’ll probably look puzzled and ask, “What’s wrong?” Then hug him tightly and sob, “I’ve fallen for you. You mean more to me than my own parents. Please don’t abandon me.”
He’ll start to look troubled, and this is where you need to judge how far to go. Stop before you become too persistent, force a smile, and say, “I’m sorry. We haven’t been able to see each other lately, so I’ve been feeling lonely. But I’m happy if I can see you even just once a month. Oh—and the part about falling for you and you meaning more to me than my own parents? That’s true.”
Honestly, unless you give him about that much of a shock, I think it’ll be difficult to turn things around.
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To be honest, I think your feelings may have become too heavy for him. Rather than ending things outright, he probably wants to reduce your meetings from twice a month to once a month and steer the relationship in a more casual direction.
Even after spending a fairly intimate amount of time together—both emotionally and physically—for a while, it’s quite common to suddenly start feeling that the other person has become too much, or to develop a vague sense of discomfort. This happens to both men and women.
This isn’t dating or marriage; it’s essentially a club activity. You need to understand that going in, otherwise it can become a burden on the other person.
Looking back, I think the most common way these relationships ended was through a small sense of discomfort gradually growing until it led to the end. That’s separate from breakups caused by clear reasons such as the other person getting married, moving away for work, or studying abroad.
It’s also true that often you can’t clearly identify where that feeling of discomfort is coming from. At that point, all you can say is: we’re both only human.
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As Maezawa-san pointed out, I think both possibilities exist: ① he’s genuinely busy, or ② his feelings have cooled.
At this point, it’s difficult to tell which is the case. However, if he’s making it up to you with phone calls, ① may be more likely.
Either way, blaming your papa (a male supporter) or repeatedly saying “I want to see you” will probably backfire. Why not send him a thoughtful message like: “You must be having a hard time being so busy. Please take care of yourself and don’t push too hard. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”
If it’s ①, there’s a good chance things will return to normal once he’s less busy.
If it’s ②, unfortunately, the chances of things going back to normal are low. If he stops seeing you or your meetings become less frequent, you might want to wait a little while and then ask: “I miss seeing you. Did I do something that upset you? Or have you found someone else you like better? I’d really appreciate it if you could let me know, including how you feel about continuing things.” There may still be a chance of rekindling things, as happened with Yozakura-san.
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It could be that they’re genuinely busy, or that their feelings are gradually fading.
Were you late or did you reschedule last time? Or perhaps you did something they might have disliked? If so, that could be the reason.
If nothing comes to mind, they may simply happen to be busy.
That said, even if they were busy, if you had agreed to meet twice a month, I’d expect them to try to make up for it. Maybe that’s what they meant when they suggested talking on the phone instead.
It’s hard to tell at this point, so you might want to see whether things are the same next month. If you end up meeting even less next month, that’s a red flag.
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Hmm. Speaking only for myself, I think you’re really about five seconds away from being cut loose. I’m assuming your papa is the type who actively pursues new girls.
That said, I’ve never thought about calling someone when I was planning to cut things off, so he may genuinely be busy and still want to continue seeing you.
Even if it only continued once a month, it would’ve been nice—but in the meantime, keep building relationships on an even footing with your other offers as well!
Hope this helps.
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I think there’s a good chance things may fizzle out.
Trying to rush things could backfire, so it may be best to accept it to some extent, prepare yourself emotionally, and be ready to take the next offer.
LOL. He’s not your boyfriend—he’s more like a parent, right?
Sounds like a papa-katsu version of a “Daddy Long Legs,” haha.
Maybe the issue is that you haven’t been able to give him enough of that fantasy.
Good papas have plenty of competition, and if the sex is good, they’re hard to let go of. So study what kind of sex your partner likes, make a devoted effort, and hopefully you can keep him interested.
Fuu is willing to put up with someone who’s a little difficult—slow to reply, prone to last-minute cancellations, and so on—as long as the physical side is good, and will continue seeing him regularly, haha.
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He may genuinely be busy, but it’s also possible that other women are taking up his time or financial leeway.
If that’s the case, he might come back, or the other women may gradually take up more of his time and money until the relationship eventually ends. In that situation, I think the way to win him back is to offer something that surpasses what the other women provide.
Before deciding what to do, you should first figure out the cause. Rather than asking complete strangers, try to find out directly from him—but do it tactfully.
Speaking for myself, when someone becomes pushy in situations like that, I find it irritating and lose interest. On the other hand, some people like being clung to, so you really need to pay close attention to the other person’s personality.
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In my case, it would be a sign that I’m thinking about ending things.
I wouldn’t cut back that much on seeing a woman I actually wanted to meet.
If it’s someone I only see about once a month anyway, I don’t really think about whether it’s ending or continuing. It’s more of an occasional relationship than an ongoing one, so generally speaking, that kind of pace is easier to maintain.
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