I got the time wrong for dinner with someone I was meeting for the second time and ended up being 30 minutes late. I called and messaged him as soon as I realized, but he seemed really disappointed. Is there any chance I can turn things around?
I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for over five years, and this is the first time I’ve ever been late. I completely misunderstood the time, and I feel truly sorry.
How your partner takes it will probably depend a lot on whether you realized your mistake before or after the agreed-upon time.
That said, if this was your first time being late in over five years of doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and you called and contacted them as soon as you noticed, I think your sincerity probably came through.
Of course, being late isn’t ideal, but we’re all human, and misunderstandings and mistakes happen. What matters is how you handle things afterward.
If it were me, I’d apologize sincerely until the other person said, “You’ve apologized enough—don’t worry about it.” After that, I’d make sure not to let it happen again, such as by setting a reminder the day before.
Some connections may end because of a single mistake, but in other cases, the way you respond afterward can actually build trust. I can tell you really regret what happened, so please don’t be too hard on yourself.
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Hold on to those feelings—you seem like a really good person. I’m already used to people being 30 minutes late (though, honestly, I’d prefer them to show up on time lol).
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A papa (a male supporter) who gets disappointed over just a 30-minute delay... seriously?
Girls are always late. Maybe one in ten shows up on time, if that.
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If you let him know you’d be late before the agreed-upon time, I don’t see any problem with it.
The man getting angry over that is the one who seems to have a serious issue. Sure, someone who repeatedly fails to keep their promises can become difficult to trust, but that only applies when it happens habitually. If it was genuinely a one-off, there’s no need to worry about it.
The fact remains that you were late, even though you contacted him properly, so I think it’s something that can be resolved by following up appropriately.
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It’s seriously impressive that you haven’t been late even once in five years.
Girls usually have a lot to do, so I have one monthly arrangement who’s always about 15 minutes late. I’ve started booking restaurants with the assumption that she’ll be late by default.
Since she always lets me know, Papa isn’t upset, right? If he makes another offer, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
If you want to make it up to him, go all out in bed.
If it were me, I’d say:
“Sorry I’m late. Since I kept you waiting:
1. I’ll do whatever you say today.
2. You can do whatever you like with me.
3. I’ll give you some oral attention as an apology.
4. You can have me as many times as you want.
5. Don’t hold back—just do whatever you like.”
If he said that and followed through, you wouldn’t just be making up for it—you’d practically have a guaranteed monthly arrangement, wouldn’t you? lol
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“Once I realized it, I called and got in touch right away.”
So, assuming it takes 30 minutes to get to the meeting place, you were still able to contact him just before the scheduled meeting time. If so, I think you should be fine as long as you’re not late from now on.
That said, if you’re late again, he may start thinking, “She’s late a lot when I include this time. Maybe there are other women who aren’t late.” So you should be careful.
You don’t need to make up for it with anything special. Just consistently avoid being late—or even arrive early every time—and I think that will make a big difference.
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Keeping a promise about time may seem simple, but even in business settings, and even among men, many people fail to do it. If you can’t keep your promises, you’ll definitely receive a negative evaluation professionally. People who don’t follow through on what they say simply can’t be trusted.
Many of the women I meet through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are late as well. When that happens, I tell them honestly, “I’ve really been looking forward to seeing you and made various adjustments to make this work, so when you’re late, I feel discouraged from the very start,” or, “If you’re going to be late, I could make other plans, so I’d appreciate it if you let me know as early as possible.”
Even if someone is dramatically late—say, an hour—as long as they let me know in advance, I personally have no problem with it. I can use the time productively by going to the gym or doing something else.
However, if someone is late every time, I naturally start to assume she doesn’t really want to see me. The only way to make up for the negative impression caused by being late is probably to start being punctual.
By the way, there’s someone in one of my study groups who always arrives 30 minutes or even an hour early for appointments. Even though he’s busy too, I think that’s really impressive.
If a woman arrived about 10 minutes early for a meeting and sent a message saying, “I’m here waiting for you,” maybe the older guys would come skipping—or even running—in, all excited to see her.
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