Have you ever become so deeply involved with someone that it nearly ruined your life? What made them...

Question

Have you ever become so deeply involved with someone that it nearly ruined your life? What made them different from everyone else? What kind of relationship did you have, and how did it ultimately end? I’m asking because I’d love to hear about a world that makes you think, “I didn’t know something like that existed!”

フラグメーカー · Answer

I’ve had two times in this scene where I just completely broke down crying.

It was kind of around saying goodbye, I guess. I didn’t actually say anything clearly—the tears just came first.

And no, it wasn’t just me. The woman I was with cried too.

I remember trying to take off her panties while crying, and her saying, “That’s not what this is about.”

負け男 · Answer

I’ve never had an experience like that.

I’ve never fallen for a woman I give an allowance to.

The women I think are “really wonderful” are my monthly arrangement partners, but I’m not in love with them.

The chances of meeting someone through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) whom you’d love enough to ruin your life over are basically zero.

Of course, no one has ever fallen for me that deeply either m(__)m

> We had incredible physical chemistry, and she could do it six times in one night,  
> and she even gave me a “clean-up” blowjob,  
> so I honestly got the wrong idea.

If you didn’t get the wrong idea after that, you’d be extraordinary. Even I definitely would have gotten the wrong idea汗

マックさん · Answer

I got into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—or rather, started using Universe Club—because I don’t want to ruin my life in the first place. So I’m not sure whether the questioner is genuinely asking, expressing a desire, or just bored and looking for an entertaining story, but it’s about as misguided as looking for the smell of blood in a survival game.

Even if someone wrote, “I got so hooked I nearly ruined my life,” they’re either intoxicated by the situation itself or they’ve ended up with a bad partner—man or woman—and had their money extorted or their heart broken. That’s not really the mainstream of dating.

If you want to get hooked enough to potentially ruin your life, try hitting on women in the real world, with no money changing hands. An enjoyably chaotic ordeal awaits you.

50半ばのオッサン · Answer

I’m still pretty new to it, so not so far. I’m at an age where if I really get ruined, it’s all over, so I’m careful not to head in that direction lol. When you’re young, you can probably just chalk it up to experience.

But relationships between men and women involve such a huge unconscious element, so once you fall into the trap… Even if you know in your head that you shouldn’t… There are endless songs, plays, and movies about that kind of thing lol.

One more thing: what’s really good about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that the allowance acts as a reality check.

When I was younger, I was once approached by a strange religious group. I remember thinking, “They’re such kind, nice people” and “That’s a good way of thinking,” but the moment they started talking about membership fees and donations, I snapped back to reality all at once. It’s kind of similar lol.

Fuu · Answer

I wouldn’t go so far as to say it ruined my life, but in my seven years of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), there was one time when I fell genuinely in love—a forbidden feeling in papa-katsu—and had the relationship ended.

As a respondent and column writer, I’d always acted all high and mighty, telling people not to fall genuinely in love and to date multiple people to spread out their feelings. Yet I ended up breaking my own rule.

But hey, I’m only human.

We had incredible chemistry, and I got so carried away because we could go six times in one night—and he’d even take care of me afterward.

It was a good lesson, and now I’m even more thorough about spreading out my feelings by seeing multiple people. I’ve doubled the number of my monthly arrangements, haha.

紙ひこうき · Answer

In terms of how it differs from other relationships:

What makes it different is that, whether we meet through the club or outside it, some relationships involve going on around 1,000 dates after meeting—or even deciding to get married.

Even without reaching 1,000 dates, once you’ve gone on around 300 dates with a woman from the club, she feels secure with you. From then on, regardless of the club, the relationship continues indefinitely, with both of you able to contact each other at any time.

前澤 · Answer

If all you want is to get a glimpse into the kind of world where you think, “So there really are worlds like that,” there are plenty of examples in the news, aren’t there?

Cases where someone became a stalker and ended up killing the other person,  
or fraud cases like Riri-chan, the “Sugar Baby Riri” scam,  
(though personally, since these involve relationships between men and women, I do think there’s always some degree of people deceiving and being deceived).

I’m sure there are plenty of other examples as well.

If you look at those cases,  
you can get an idea of the kind of world this is.

I don’t see much point in conducting some kind of behavioral study of the people answering here.

井筒 雅博 · Answer

From my student days until my early thirties, when I got married, I was pretty deeply involved in that kind of thing.

Looking back now, I sometimes wonder how I managed to keep up with my studies, job hunting, and work without them being affected. After I met my current wife, that sort of thing stopped. She’s a wonderful wife in many ways.

Of course, if she’s such a good wife, you might say I shouldn’t be doing club activities at all. Well, that’s a separate matter.

What I mean is that club activities are “a separate matter,” so I don’t get so deeply involved that I ruin my life over them. There have been a few women I stayed involved with for more than ten years. They were truly wonderful, but it never got to the point where I would have died if they were gone. You could say it’s a sad thing in its own way, but I have a family, social standing, and various other ties, so self-restraint naturally kicks in.

That said, after I started running a company, I began to feel that people who have never had to “swallow dirt” when they were young—not just in romance—will ultimately run away when things get serious. If someone is too self-conscious, their instinct to protect themselves comes out strongly in the end.

By “swallowing dirt,” I mean the feeling of throwing your pride into the gutter. Romance is probably the best way to experience that, since the damage is relatively minor once you come back to your senses. I recommend it.

シアトル · Answer

If you read the “Darling” columns in the personal experiences section here, you’ll find stories like that.

I especially recommend Joerubikon’s Nana-hime series and Mac’s Love Vaccine series.

Romane, from the women’s “Cinderella” column, is also amazing.

アンディ · Answer

I’ve only been doing this for about three years, so I don’t have that much experience, but I’ve had adult relationships with more than 50 people.

I haven’t had any bad experiences at all. Everyone’s been wonderful.

But if I kept doing this to the point of ruining my life, that would be pretty messed up, right? And even if I did ruin my life, wouldn’t it be difficult to keep doing papa-katsu while maintaining a normal life?

You can hear plenty of stories on X and other social media, so go check them out if you want to be shocked.

Seriously, what’s the point of asking that?

If you’re the type who enjoys other people’s misfortune, then I guess it can’t be helped. Later.

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