How should I handle a papa who tries to hold my hand or kiss me during the first meeting or our second dinner?
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It’s not like my allowance goes up when he does that, and he asks me to do it while we’re eating out or in front of the station, so I really don’t want to.
Even Fujiko Mine says:
“A truly good woman is one who can protect herself.”
So I think it’s perfectly fine to gently say, “L-a-t-e-r…♡” while giving his hand a little pinch.
She also says:
“A strong woman isn’t one who uses strong words. That’s just a harsh woman. A strong woman is one who doesn’t give up.”
You’ve got this.
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Even among male respondents, there are those like me who prefer to keep as much distance from women as possible, and those who prefer being physically close, even if they don’t kiss or hug.
For reference, I do the following as naturally as breathing:
- If we’re sitting side by side, I leave as much physical space between us as possible.
- I give her the allowance for the adult relationship before we head to the hotel.
- I don’t walk together with her in public. On the way from the restaurant to the hotel, I have her follow about five meters behind me.
- Even if it means taking a slight detour, I choose a route that minimizes the time spent walking through the love hotel district.
- We enter and leave the hotel separately.
- At a city hotel, I quickly move away from her when getting into the elevator, in case one of her acquaintances gets on.
- When she rides in my car, I always have her sit in the back and make sure she can’t be seen from outside.
- When getting in and out of the car, I pretend to be her driver. I also ask her not to wave when we say goodbye.
Some people may think I’m going overboard, but not only has no one ever disliked it—in fact, 99.99% of the time, she smiles and says, “You’re the first man I’ve met who’s been this thorough♡”
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There are an absurd number of people on the escalators at Haneda Airport.
Speaking shamefully, I may have done the same thing back when I was a clueless papa right after my divorce. I sincerely apologize.
The women I’ve met over the past ten years have taught me a lot, and these days I do pretty much the same things as that “loser guy.” My allowance may even be a little higher than average.
Please be kind enough to point it out just once and help him learn.
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Men like that are in the minority, and they’re not fit to be a papa (a male supporter).
You can simply turn him down, take the allowance for the first meeting, and leave. If you’re vague, he’ll only become more presumptuous.
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Hmm… After thinking it over, I feel like a slap might be the best option.
With a slap, they’ll definitely understand that they’ve crossed a line—and for some reason, a slap doesn’t hurt your feelings.
Words, oddly enough, seem to hurt more.
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If you’re not comfortable with it, just tell him, “I can’t do that because there’s a chance someone might see us outside,” and turn him down.
If he keeps pushing, end the meeting right then and give the club feedback afterward.
That should be fine.
If you agree to it the first time, it’ll become the default, which can be a huge hassle. Just say no.
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Men like that are simply rude and have no sense of propriety or appropriate behavior. Tell him firmly to stop, then leave as soon as possible. Even if you continue seeing him, it probably won’t lead to anything good.
Even at Kyoto teahouses, customers who recklessly try to touch geisha in the banquet room won’t be allowed to make reservations again, and the person who brought them will also be reprimanded.
Honestly, people who can’t read the situation often aren’t very capable at work either. So even if he seems generous right now, I doubt it will last long. I think it’s best to cut him off immediately and move on to the next one.
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Very few people do things like that during papa-katsu, so I’d write the day off as a bad match, put it in the feedback in no uncertain terms, and never see him again.
What I’m wondering is: would you be okay with it if you received a higher allowance? Is that how you feel?
If so, you could say during the first meeting that kissing in public—such as while you’re out or near the station—would require an increased allowance. You might then build a good relationship with that type of person.
They’ll appreciate it. Good luck!
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To be frank, I don’t understand why you’re asking this question.
You can simply say no. There may be better or more tactful ways to put it, but isn’t figuring that out part of the appeal of a dating club?
Pull yourself together!
By the way, one of my favorite girls gave me a “kiss anywhere” pass as a birthday present! I used it at Haneda Airport recently—we made our way down from the fourth floor to the third floor on the escalator while deep-kissing.
What I’m saying is, why don’t you have your papa buy you a deep-kiss pass too? For ¥100,000. Doesn’t sound like a bad deal, does it? lol
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