It was my first time having an adult relationship (intimate), and he asked, “Is it okay if we go without a condom since I’ll pull out?” I couldn’t understand why not using a condom was even an option, so I told him I’d leave if he didn’t put one on, and he agreed. Is going without a condom actually pretty common?
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When he gave me my allowance, he also said, “I would’ve added another bill if we hadn’t used a condom…”
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Teens👑Universe female member
Using protection is basic etiquette, and I believe it’s also very important for protecting yourself. So I think you made the right call by clearly saying, “If you won’t use one, I’m leaving.”
Unfortunately, “It’s fine because I’ll pull out” isn’t a genuinely safe precaution, and it’s hard to relax when you’re feeling anxious. You shouldn’t have to go along with anything when you don’t feel safe or comfortable.
I’ve been in a similar situation myself. At the time, I said something like, “I feel too uneasy to relax if you won’t use protection, so I won’t be able to enjoy this.” It’s important that both people feel safe and can enjoy themselves, so it’s worth making your position clear.
I’ve also heard of people offering extra money for not using protection, but someone who makes that kind of offer may give the impression that they’re prioritizing their own convenience over your well-being. Whether that kind of relationship feels right for you is something you can decide based on your own values.
There are plenty of gentlemanly people out there who will be considerate, and in the long run, you may feel more at ease continuing a relationship with someone who treats you with care.
Please put your own sense of safety and comfort first.
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> Personally, I can’t understand why anyone would even consider not using a condom.
That’s a perfectly reasonable way to think.
There are all kinds of risks involved in not using a condom. It’s good that you’re properly considering those risks.
> Is going without a condom fairly common?
If we’re talking only about how men tend to think, unfortunately, it might be. A lot of men probably don’t want to use condoms. But that simply means they aren’t managing the risks properly.
As for what to do going forward:
As a general rule, always use a condom. However, if you feel the other person is genuinely trustworthy, you can consider the situation as a whole and decide flexibly whether to proceed, while taking steps to eliminate the risks as much as possible.
That said, you probably won’t meet many people like that, so I think it’s perfectly fine to stick with always using a condom.
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It’s up to you if you don’t understand, but in reality, not only in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but also with guys on dating apps who are only looking for sex—and sometimes even in ordinary relationships—there are always men who want to have sex without a condom because it feels better to them, despite the STI risk.
Not every man uses condoms. From now on, men in papa-katsu will probably continue to tell you, “I want to do it without a condom.” If you don’t want that, anticipate being asked and think about how you’ll respond.
Also, you never know what might happen with papa-katsu. Since you may have sex more often, condoms can break or semen can leak from them. So if Fuu is a woman who has just started papa-katsu and isn’t taking the pill, I recommend suggesting a low-dose birth-control pill, along with a recommended clinic.
The club is involved only up to introducing you to a papa (a male supporter). After that, you’re on your own and responsible for yourself. I think it’s best to properly anticipate the risks and prepare accordingly.
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There are actually quite a few.
It depends on the woman—some prepare themselves or choose a partner so they’re comfortable going without protection—but my impression is that it’s fairly common.
That said, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you not wanting to do that.
You should only continue seeing male members who respect your wishes.
Hope this helps.
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Quite a few women do, in response to your question.
It depends on the woman—some prepare themselves and choose partners they feel comfortable with—but my impression is that it’s fairly common.
That said, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you not wanting to do it without protection.
You should only continue seeing male members who respect that.
Hope this helps.
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If you’re asking whether going without a condom is the norm, it isn’t.
That said, some women promote condomless sex (including ejaculation inside) because they’re on the pill.
Since having sex without a condom carries a high risk of contracting an STD, I think it’s still risky—even if the terms are extremely generous—unless the man is willing to show you his STI test results.
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