Is it normal to feel that someone is being stingy when the allowance is the same even though the meeting lasts way too long?

That’s because you’re looking at it as 100% work. I often go on driving dates, but I discuss the destination with the woman. She can listen to music or watch YouTube in the passenger seat, and she’s welcome to sleep on the way back. Women who love driving tell me it’s the best because they can get paid just for going on a drive. (I don’t stay overnight, and I do increase the allowance depending on how long we’re together. Still, I realize that, to women who prioritize time efficiency and just want to go to a hotel and leave quickly, I’m probably an inconvenient papa (a male supporter).) If you don’t like it, why not just leave after a short time? Or you could work at a feng shui shop where the prices are clearly set on a fee schedule.

I think it depends on the poster’s mindset and on how well she judges the papa she’s dealing with. Put simply, it’s about: “Men who want to enjoy themselves for as long as possible while paying as little allowance as possible” and “Women who want to receive as much allowance as possible in as little time as possible.” Men are the ones paying, so they have all kinds of expectations. They choose women who offer good value for money and cut off the ones who don’t. From the woman’s side, how much of a man’s fantasy is she willing to fulfill in order to keep things going? How will she get chosen? Ultimately, doesn’t it depend on the poster’s way of thinking? Even if you have a papa who keeps you out for seven hours, an allowance of ¥50,000 works out to just over ¥7,000 an hour. So, as you said, if you can earn more than that, there’s no reason to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You might as well quit and earn the money yourself. Instead, find a papa like Makeotoko or Fuu who won’t keep you out for seven hours and will finish within four hours—or, better yet, get chosen by a generous (well-paying) papa like Makeotoko. Fuu’s allowance is low, though, lol. Fuu’s regular is 20, Korean-idol-level pretty, and has a great figure. They’ve agreed to meet directly at a room for three hours. She’s young, so she prioritizes time efficiency. She’s cool and they barely talk, but she has an amazing body, so she’s been his regular since she was 19. Why not try negotiating like Fuu’s regular? Tell him, “I don’t need a city hotel or an expensive meal. Meeting directly at a love hotel is fine, so please raise the allowance,” lol. That said, it’s important to distinguish between a papa to avoid and a good papa. A papa with high expectations for fulfilling his fantasies might cut you off. There are also women who care more about meals and trips than allowance, and for women like that, Fuu also does things like hot-spring trips or sex at a hotel with a night view, lol.

If he kept you out for seven hours on the first date, then the issue isn’t whether he’s stingy—he’s simply a problematic man. Saying things like, “Two hours is just a guideline, right?” or “She can leave whenever she wants, can’t she?” is nothing more than nitpicking. The fact that something isn’t explicitly written in the rules doesn’t make it okay. That’s not about being stingy; it suggests he either doesn’t take the club’s purpose seriously or is deliberately exploiting loopholes. Fundamentally, he sounds like a problematic man. If this concerns dates after the second one, though, I think it’s something you should discuss properly. Some people may want to spend a long time together after the first date, and there’s nothing strange about someone wanting to stay overnight. However, an arrangement can’t work if only one person feels that way. Once you realize that he expects to spend long hours together, I think you need to take some kind of measure. For example, you could say, “I’d like us to part ways after two hours.” If he says, “No, I want us to spend seven hours together,” then I don’t think the arrangement will work, so it would probably be best to end things there. Saying, “Could you give me a larger allowance?” often doesn’t go well. When you bring up time, many men dislike feeling that a woman is calculating things by the hour. So if it won’t work for you, I think it’s best to walk away cleanly. Also, when the allowance is the same, I think the length of the date and whether someone is stingy are slightly different criteria for evaluating them.

This isn’t an easy problem to solve. I’ve always tried to be the kind of papa who offers a high allowance but keeps the dates relatively short, because I figured many women are like the person asking this question. I’m confident that I’m the type of papa that 99% of women would be happy to have, and I’ve never had any major failures with this approach. However, a papa with terms like mine can be extremely selective about the women he sees. As a result, I’ve had 200 arrangements through Universe Club. Since I only have around 10 women in monthly arrangements, that means I’ve “cut” about 190 women. For a woman to keep a papa with such favorable terms, she needs either extraordinary beauty or an overwhelmingly favorable cost-to-benefit ratio for him. But isn’t that an impossible expectation? That’s why I said at the beginning that this problem isn’t easy.

As an answer to your question, I don’t think you’re wrong to consider them stingy. You’ll feel much less stressed if you simply stop seeing those cheapskates altogether! I think they’re confusing you with women like the questioner who don’t think in terms of time and money.

Good, Average, Bad Everyone loves categorizing things. We live in a world obsessed with sorting everything into neat little boxes—Lacrima Christi of categorization. When you start asking, “Is this normal?” or “Is this bad?” doesn’t it sometimes clash with how you actually feel? Something may be generally considered normal, but still be painful for you. If something feels wrong to you based on your own values, then it’s okay to say no. If you don’t want a long-term arrangement with the same allowance, that’s okay too. It all comes down to whether there’s someone whose preferences match yours.

That’s a perfectly normal way to feel. And it’s a perfectly normal opinion, too. Some people will agree, while others won’t—that’s all there is to it. > I guess there may be women who’ll spend several nights or a long time together for the same allowance, but isn’t that pretty difficult to find? That’s how all the women I’m dating are. If it’s a woman you only see occasionally in a transactional relationship, you’ll usually part ways after about two hours.