I have four regular papas. I see one once a month, another twice a month, and another once a week, so I go on hotel dates up to eight times a month. I also have a boyfriend. I enjoy being intimate with both him and my papas.
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I’ve always been naturally very lubricated, but recently I haven’t been able to get wet at all. I used to get very wet with both my boyfriend and my papas, so I’m not sure what’s changed…
Lately, I’ve been using lube and lubricant gel, but I start thinking, “What if I can’t get wet?” or “What if it hurts?”—which only makes it worse because I end up feeling pain.
I also get cystitis once every few months, sometimes with blood in my urine, so that weighs on my mind too.
My papas are kind and want to make sure I feel good, so they try to help me climax multiple times, which makes the foreplay extremely long… Recently, whether the foreplay goes on too long or penetration lasts too long, I start to feel pain. Something that used to be so enjoyable has become painful and difficult for me…
Since my papas give me an allowance, I want the time we spend together to be enjoyable for both of us. If there’s anything I can try besides lubricant gel or lube, I’d really appreciate your advice.
Politely tell him that the foreplay is too long and ask him to keep it shorter. It’s harder for a papa (a male supporter) when you just endure it without saying anything.
Even so, you should cut off the one with the longest foreplay first. Sex puts a strain on your mucous membranes, so there are limits. If you’re seeing a lot of people, you’ll end up passing something on to your boyfriend.
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Tell your papa and your boyfriend, and ask them to cooperate.
Let them know that:
- You’re having a harder time getting wet.
- You’re more prone to urinary tract infections.
- Shorter foreplay is fine.
- They don’t need to make you climax during foreplay.
- They don’t need to go down on you that much.
You should always keep lube on hand and use it whenever necessary.
Physically, I’ve heard that drinking plenty of fluids helps you get wet, so make sure you stay well hydrated.
This is just my personal impression, but when your metabolism improves, more good things happen. Try hot yoga and drink lots of water. It won’t just help you get wet—sweating boosts your metabolism and improves your skin, too. Hot yoga also builds your core muscles, which can help you lose weight and improve your tightness down there.
Personally, I joke that it’s a class for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)!
It also sounds like there may be a mental component. Since you’re worrying, “What should I do? What should I do?”, why not tell your papa that you haven’t been feeling well and take a one- or two-month break from papa-katsu? Your boyfriend would be the only one left out, though, so maybe keep that going, haha.
It might get better after something triggers a change…
Either way, don’t push yourself, okay?
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> Other than jelly and lubricant, is there anything else I can try?
It would be ideal if you could get yourself back into the mindset where you become aroused more easily, like before—but I assume you’re having trouble because you can’t do that.
In that case, how about taking a break from sex altogether? Maybe not doing anything for about a month could help you get back into the right frame of mind.
First, explain the situation to the man and suggest making plans to meet a month from now. If you set a specific date and time, you may find that you’re ready to meet by then.
I feel like you’re probably emotionally exhausted right now. It seems like you need time to recover emotionally.
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The other day, I had sex with a gravure model, and she had her own lubricant, which she applied silently before penetration. Seeing that put me off a little. She was already plenty wet, though.
So when you apply lube before penetration, please say, “It’s to prevent yeast infections☆”
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