Would it bother a married papa (a male supporter) if I messaged him often…? I’ve come to trust him a lot, and since he always replies quickly, I find myself wanting to talk with him all the time. I’m currently restraining myself to about twice a week, but would messaging him more than that be annoying…?

I’m married, but as long as she replies quickly, I think it’s fine to message her. Even messaging every day isn’t a problem. If I’m not that interested in someone, I might take half a day, a day, several days, or even a few weeks to reply. In my case, most of the women I see two, three, or four times a week. Some message me on LINE every day, while with others, we mostly just exchange messages about when and where to meet—even that adds up to quite a few messages per day. Once you’ve built a relationship and established trust, you can simply message when you have time, so I don’t think it feels like much of a burden. Sometimes they call late at night to ask for advice, or call because they want to hear my voice. I think things like that can be opportunities to build and deepen your bond.

Since my husband and I agreed from the start of our marriage that we would never look through each other’s phones without permission, I’m fine with receiving messages anytime. Of course, I have notifications from my papa turned off. Still, when someone repeatedly sends messages saying things like “I really want to see you” or “When can we meet next?”, I do find it off-putting. I’ve ended arrangements over that before. So I think it depends on the content. If we meet once a month, getting two LINE messages a week is no problem. But if we meet weekly and receive more than two messages a week, I might start to feel a little uncomfortable… Also, even if you limit it to two messages, I think it’s best to keep the exchanges from becoming too lengthy. I’m the type who likes to reply right away, so if each exchange starts taking longer, I may find it a bit burdensome. At the moment, I’m seeing three people once a month and one person once every two or three months. Even the shortest arrangement has lasted over six months, so once we’ve set the date for our next date, there’s hardly any messaging. That can feel a little lonely in its own way, though, so I’m happy when I receive a casual LINE message in between, and I’ll occasionally message them first as well. It goes without saying, but if you want things to continue for a long time, maintain a comfortable level of contact with each other.

I’m married, but my wife never looks at my phone, so I’m not particularly worried if LINE messages come in. That said, I mainly use LINE to arrange when to meet. It can also be nice when she messages me occasionally about something amusing that happened. However, I believe that for a decent married man in a dating club, putting his family first is simply part of his responsibility. So I’d find it burdensome if someone came on too strong. Even when I meet an especially wonderful woman, I’ve always continued seeing around three women regularly to avoid becoming emotionally focused on just one person. If possible, I hope the women can also enjoy their club activities with that kind of emotional leeway.

It depends on the person, so I think you should ask when you meet. If you’re not close enough yet to ask something like that, it might be better to hold off for now lol. Be careful, though—some papas may pull away if you get too invested and develop serious feelings. Your entire series of questions is a red flag. Whether your papa will accept your serious feelings depends on him. If things go too far, the papa-katsu relationship itself could end, so be careful. It’s difficult to go back once you cross that line, so it may be best to confirm how he feels before you act or say anything. I also recommend seeing multiple people to spread out your feelings.

If he replies to your messages quickly, I think it’s fine to message him fairly often while he’s still responding promptly. However, if his replies start taking even a little longer, it might be better to ease off a bit. Once a day should generally be fine, though it may depend on what you’re messaging him about.