I asked earlier about “yamieigyo” (using emotional manipulation to gain support), but I was surprised by how many men are convinced to cover things like women’s debts.

Even if you achieve short-term success by playing the troubled-girl card, it’s obvious that your life will eventually fall apart. To put it simply, isn’t 病み営業 just “a way to make money easily”? There’s no way it can work out in the long run. I’m an entrepreneur, but even after putting in an almost unimaginable amount of effort, I still don’t know whether it will pay off. Every day is a struggle. But I’ve trained myself to be able to work hard, so I know I’ll be able to survive anywhere. On the other hand, women who get into 病み営業 end up losing the ability to work hard for the rest of their lives. Their lives go downhill fast. Sometimes I wonder if girls who do 病み営業 are just stupid. Men can’t tell whether someone is doing 病み営業 or genuinely going through a hard time. But even if you get deceived by a girl doing 病み営業, it won’t ruin your life.

> I feel conflicted because I don’t have the courage to deceive people. Why frame this as a matter of courage? Courage, as I understand it, means having the resolve to act on what you believe is right. Deceiving people isn’t courage at all—it’s a question of whether you choose to go down an evil path. Worrying about what might happen if you go down that path and get caught doesn’t mean you lack courage. It simply means your darker impulses and your sense of right and wrong are in conflict. Even if this were a world where bad people made more money, couldn’t you still say, “I’m different. This is how I choose to live,” and leave it at that? I respect people who refuse to do bad things even when others are doing them. Besides, I don’t think this is really about winning or losing in the first place.

Being skilled at choosing your words and presenting yourself is a talent in its own right. That said, some people simply connect with that style, while others don’t—it doesn’t necessarily make one better or worse than the other. Looking only at the results, it may seem that those who are good at it are coming out ahead. But when you look at relationships that last, many are built on a foundation of comfort and trust. I think the most satisfying choice is to value the kind of arrangement you can continue without feeling uncomfortable. There isn’t just one way to succeed in life. I believe the right answer is whatever works for you and is sustainable in the long run.

Even if she’s using a troubled-girl persona to attract support, if she’s making men enjoy themselves, isn’t that also a kind of talent and skill? Though it’s going too far when you end up like that YouTuber who was stabbed by someone holding a grudge. I think her name was Ai Mogami.

Papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is a fantasy world to begin with. People who are married yet look for other sex partners, or who have boyfriends but still do it for money… It’s not as simple as saying that deceiving people and lying are inherently wrong. If both people are happy while continuing to deceive and lie to each other—and being deceived and lied to in return—then it’s still papa-katsu, with money involved, so I don’t see the problem. Actresses, for example, have incredibly beautiful faces, pretend to be someone else, deceive and draw viewers in, and deliver lines they don’t even mean. You could say they’re the ultimate professionals when it comes to lying… The questioner is trapped by self-righteous fixed ideas, but ultimately, they simply lack the ability to do it themselves. (They’re trapped by those fixed ideas and haven’t made any effort.) Women who deceive their papas to get more money out of them may be putting effort into deceiving people. Some are naturally gifted at it and can do it without even trying. Since you can’t deceive people or lie, why not think of other ways to receive more allowance through papa-katsu? Or give up on comparing yourself to others and just do papa-katsu normally. There’s generally a going rate for allowance, so if you just do things normally, you’ll receive what you’re supposed to. It only feels tough because you compare yourself to others. Thinking you’ve lost is just your personal opinion, isn’t it? —Hiroyuki style