I’m 30.
There’s a significant age gap, but I want him to see me as a romantic partner, not as part of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I get the impression that, in papa-katsu, men tend to look for youth in women.
Does being young work to your advantage in romantic relationships?
First of all, this depends a lot on whether the questioner and the man involved are married.
- Both unmarried: There’s no problem.
- Questioner unmarried, man married: It’s simply a nuisance.
- Questioner married, man unmarried: Get divorced first. Then we can talk.
- Both married: I suppose you can enjoy playing at romance, as long as you’re both careful not to let your spouses find out.
Sorry for giving an answer that may put a damper on the questioner’s dreams. Maybe you just wanted to chat about romance and recharge your emotional batteries.
> Is youth an advantage in romance?
Of course it is, but papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t romance in the first place. For now, the questioner simply has a one-sided crush. Don’t get the wrong idea just because you may end up having an intimate relationship.
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All the papas are crying.
Papas everywhere are looking for women like you. Most of the time, they’re hoping for a free hookup, but either way, thank you for such a dreamy question.
> Can youth be an advantage in romance?
I suppose it depends on the person.
I do like younger women, but the woman I recently started a monthly arrangement with is in her mid-30s. She has a calm, mature appeal, and I started seeing her through papa-katsu because I thought, “It would be nice to have a romantic relationship with someone like her.” She’s the woman I’m most looking forward to seeing right now.
If you became an “answerer” on this Q&A site, you could join the answerers’ community, where you’d be able to discuss all kinds of deeper personal matters. So if you’re interested, why not become an answerer? Just last night, the community was buzzing over one female answerer’s dilemma about whether or not to break up with a man she cared deeply about.
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I’m not exactly the sharpest, so let me make sure I understand your question. Do you mean:
You’re in your 30s, but he’s in his 50s → you don’t want papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)! → If you could turn it into a romantic relationship, would your youth be an advantage or a disadvantage?
If that’s what you mean:
- Generally speaking, men in their 50s and older tend to seek younger partners—whether through papa-katsu or romance—as a way of escaping their own aging.
- In papa-katsu, youth is even more of an advantage than in romance. That said, things are ultimately decided by the overall package, including physical compatibility, intimacy, and the allowance.
- Romantic relationships are much more individual. Youth is often an advantage, but if you’re going to be together for a long time, other factors—especially emotional compatibility—matter too. If conversation is boring, things won’t last no matter how young you are.
I don’t have that much experience, so this is about all I can say, but good luck! A papa (a male supporter) would probably be happy either way if someone nearly two decades younger wanted him, haha. Have confidence in yourself.
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If you want to turn papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) into a romantic relationship, the other person’s feelings and intentions are probably the most important factor.
In this case, I feel the key point is whether the papa (a male supporter) is open to the possibility of romance.
If he’s an attractive older man whom you could genuinely fall for, he may be someone who could be intimate without paying, but chooses papa-katsu so he can enjoy himself safely while keeping money involved.
Some people—especially those who are married or hold a certain position at work—want to draw a clear line by keeping things financial through papa-katsu.
Starting a normal romantic relationship with someone like that may be quite difficult.
Try to sound him out carefully before bringing it up.
If you suddenly confess your feelings, you could end up damaging even the papa-katsu relationship.
From Fuu, who has had her LINE blocked after confessing she was genuinely in love.
I do think youth is a pretty powerful advantage in papa-katsu. Fuu joined because she wanted intimacy with someone young, too. But when it comes to romance, it may be a different story. Personality, how comfortable you feel together, and shared values may matter as well.
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It seems like people in papa-katsu are looking for youth.
Yes, that’s right. I’m in my late 40s, and I do it because I want to have relationships with women in their 20s.
Is youth an advantage in romantic relationships?
That’s a completely different situation from papa-katsu, so it really depends on the other person.
Hope that helps.
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Does being young give you an advantage in love?
→ Isn’t youth, beauty, personality, and even your hobbies all an advantage? It depends on what you choose to lead with.
It depends on what the other person is looking for. If they want a romantic partner, you can try getting closer. If not, I think it’s important to keep an appropriate distance.
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What counts as an asset, and what you choose to use as your strength, really depends on the person.
Whether youth is an advantage or not depends on how you use it—and on who you’re dealing with.
That said, if you’re in your 30s and consider everything you’ve experienced in life so far, I’m sure you have plenty of strengths besides your youth. Take some time to think about what your best qualities are. It might be worth reflecting on that a little more.
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