Last year, he said one was worth ¥400,000, but it was actually an unbranded item worth less than ¥5,000. This year, he again said it was worth ¥400,000, but it turned out to be fake.
I asked AI, and it said there was a 100% chance it was counterfeit. I also checked with the brand, and they said it isn’t currently being sold. So it’s definitely fake.
Last year, a stylist brought it to me. This year, he said that, as an apology for last year’s fake, he had let me choose the item myself—but it was still fake. He keeps insisting that he bought it through a department-store personal shopper and didn’t know.
So I asked, “Then the personal shopper sold you a fake, right?” That’s where things stand now.
If I had been receiving my allowance, this wouldn’t really be an issue. But he pressured me to either accept an allowance-based relationship or date him, saying that if I dated him, he could give me much more expensive things and experiences, and that I’d have assets if we got married. It was almost pure manipulation, but I fell for it, and for about three meetings, my allowance was reduced to roughly transportation costs only.
This time, I told him that if he paid me the allowance I hadn’t received, I would forget the whole thing.
He keeps saying, “Trust me.”
Because I haven’t received the allowance I was promised, I’ve become this attached to the situation, although I’m also prepared to give up.
He’s obviously out of the question as a papa (a male supporter), but this is the first time I’ve encountered something like this. Could this actually be a tactic to get me to date him without an allowance?
👤Asked byはなこ👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I understand wanting to receive the allowance you were supposed to get, but at this point, it seems unlikely that you’ll be able to. I think it would be best to simply end things and move on. Continuing to communicate with him will probably just drain you emotionally, so it seems like the disadvantages would outweigh the benefits.
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He’s completely unacceptable as a person—just a liar and a scammer. A textbook con artist.
You will never recover your losses. It’s a waste of your time and emotional energy. I strongly recommend cutting ties immediately and treating it as a sunk cost.
Many people suffer even greater losses while trying to recoup what they’ve already lost. After falling victim to a romance scam, they hire lawyers who falsely advertise that they can recover the money, only to pay them a large amount in fees.
I’m worried that you may be in that kind of state of mind.
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I know there are quite a few papas (male supporters) who use one excuse after another—claiming it’s “for the woman” or “for this or that”—to keep lowering the allowance.
Most of them also lack basic cleanliness and try to take advantage of women without making any preparations. They’re truly the worst.
There is a solution.
Apply to female respondents. We respondents will protect you. Some of our respondents are women as well, so they’ll surely listen and offer you compassionate advice.
Please click the “Apply to Become a Respondent” button.
We look forward to hearing from you.
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It’s pretty much the same in the workplace: when someone offers great terms before building any kind of personal relationship, it almost always ends in failure if you go along with it.
I knew that, but still… I thought, “Maybe something good will happen for me soon,” and took up a promising offer six months ago. In the end, I went through hell.
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It may be tough, but papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is ultimately an individual battle for women, so it’s important to carefully assess your papa (a male supporter).
Don’t blame others. This isn’t something you should continue if it means putting up with unpleasant experiences. Turn down no allowance on the spot. If you find out that a gift from a year ago was fake, break things off. At each moment, summon your courage and maintain the attitude of refusing what you need to refuse.
We’re all human, so in any community, you may meet good people—or bad, dishonest ones. Here, the club holds the personal information of both members, which makes it harder for either side to do anything wrong, so there is some deterrence. Even so, many people think only about benefiting themselves, so do your best while taking responsibility for your own choices.
I hope you receive offers from the top 20% of good papas.
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There’s no reason to still be seeing him since last year.
It’s rare for only one person in a relationship to be at fault, so if this has been going on for so long, you likely have some responsibility as well.
You need to end it quickly. If you can’t do that, then your only option is to let go of your penny-pinching mindset and work on being more decisive.
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I think it’s about time you learned your lesson and moved on, but people have a hard time cutting their losses. The other person also sounds like they’re something of a pro.
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