My papa seemed genuinely in love with me, and he found out that I’d been seeing other papas…

This situation is really tangled. The papa is being emotional, but the questioner has also received plenty of allowance and other compensation, then gone and gotten involved with someone the papa knows. There are just so many things to call out. They seem to rely on the papa far too much, so breaking things off probably won’t be easy. Rather than wanting to control you, I imagine the questioner was the one doing the whole “making him think it was real love” routine to get more and more out of him. Men are simple, so he fell for it and spent a huge amount of money. Now he’s regretting it and getting angry. The more you get out of someone and the more money you make them spend, the higher the risk becomes, so you need to be prepared for that. But going after someone he knows of all people? You really need to be careful. Your comment puts all the blame on others, so even if you part ways with this papa, I get the feeling you’ll end up in the same kind of situation again.

He sounds like an incredibly boring man—I feel sick just reading your question. The moment he started demanding that you return what he gave you, the relationship was already over. I’d proceed on the assumption that you’re going to cut him off, but do it calmly and carefully. First, don’t return what you’ve received. Use it as supplies for the long battle ahead. Also, the club’s website is probably being monitored, so explain the situation properly to the representative at your branch and ask them to introduce you to two or three men who will genuinely support you, even if it’s just a transactional relationship. Secure those connections firmly. That way, you won’t have to worry about your immediate living expenses, and you’ll be able to give him a clean break. As a stalling tactic, something that apparently works quite well—according to a certain Ginza mama—is to confront him seriously and say: “If that’s truly how you feel, then I’ve made up my mind too. I’ll devote myself completely to you, so please marry me.” He’s probably married, so this should put him in a difficult position. Tell him earnestly, “I’ll freeze our relationship until you marry me. I’ll wait for you forever!” Make sure you convincingly convey that you’re serious too. Of course, I can’t say how he’ll react. But if he loses his temper when you approach him this way, then he really is exactly the kind of person he’s shown himself to be, and you’ll have no choice but to break things off immediately. Naturally, you don’t need to return anything you’ve received so far. You could also say you’ll return the furniture and other large items, then simply leave them behind. If he backs down, that’s ideal. If he starts seriously worrying about the situation, even better. Use that time to carry out your exit plan. If he becomes violent, threatens you, stalks you, or persistently harasses you, consult the police about it as a stalking case. They should take it quite seriously. It’s easy to say all this, and I know it will be difficult to actually do, but your life and your child’s life are at stake. I think you’ll have to steel yourself and see it through.

>He asked me to leave the allowance I’ve saved from what he’s given me so far in our shared home... It sounds like he may take that money, so I don’t think you should leave it there. >He’ll give me a spare key to the house too, though... That won’t mean anything if he changes the lock while you’re away. >He also wants me to give him the spare key to the rental apartment he got for me. That’s dangerous. >If we break up, he says he’ll cancel all the work I’m getting through him—insurance contracts he introduced me to. >That’s a threat, isn’t it...? It is a threat, but canceling those contracts is within his rights, so there’s not much you can do about that. More importantly, he might cancel them even if you agree to his terms. In the end, there’s no point in accepting them. >I should probably avoid doing that, right? Thinking about it normally, it sounds like he’s now threatening to fire you as well. You should leave him. >I want to break up with him, but losing those contracts would hurt my performance right now, so I can’t say I want to end things and have just been doing whatever he says. This isn’t the time to worry about that. Even if your performance temporarily declines, I think you should break up with him. You should move out immediately.

Getting an insurance policy from him was more trouble than it was worth. If the insurance company’s customer service department or the reason for cancellation starts asking questions, it could become a hassle. As for everything else, why not simply refuse to cooperate? At some point, you need to cut ties when the mental distress outweighs whatever benefits you’re getting from the relationship. If he’s married, you could respond with the Cold War concept of mutually assured destruction (MAD): “If you’re prepared to go that far, I’ll go to the police and tell your wife everything, and we can both watch our lives burn to the ground.” That takes a lot of nerve—the ability not to cave under a little intimidation or anxiety—so I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone. For reference, mutually assured destruction is a strategy for deterring nuclear war in which nuclear-armed countries maintain the capability to retaliate with a second strike and completely destroy each other, even if one side is attacked first.

It’s Fullerene! I once received a similar consultation from a woman I met through Universe, whom I continued seeing for some time. The police warned the papa (male supporter) who had been stalking her, but that didn’t stop him. In the end, he was arrested. And he had a wife and children, too… (For the record, that man was not a male member registered with Universe, so don’t worry, lol.) There was no major physical harm, but she was forced to move, and the situation could easily have turned into something much worse. I’m not trying to scare you, but I’m concerned that the person asking the question seems so indecisive. She seems to want to prioritize her safety, yet her attachment to the money is clouding her judgment. Maybe he was just that generous (well-paying) a papa. Perhaps he can see right through that attachment and is taking advantage of it? The woman mentioned above was single, but you’re a single mother, right? If something happened to you, what would become of your child? And what if the risk extended directly to your child? I suggest you think that through once more. The good times are over. I’m sure you simply didn’t have what it takes to keep these two papas under your control. If possible, you might consider telling the other papa—the one you know—everything and asking him for help. Good luck.

You chose the papa who kept bombarding you with calls rather than the transactional papa, and he chose to continue the relationship, right? If so, all that’s left is to negotiate the terms. Basically, for this papa, the main point is that you don’t date anyone else; the rest is more of a “if I can get it, great” kind of thing. So even if you don’t leave any money for him, he probably won’t immediately cut things off. He may hurl insults or abusive language at you, but you brought this on yourself. If you keep dodging the issue while acting meek—and show some tears now and then—things will probably settle down eventually. You’re a single mother, so you’re divorced, right? This probably isn’t your first messy situation, so just wait for the storm to die down.

Let’s use a slow-walking strategy until your anger dies down. Google “slow-walking strategy” if you’re not familiar with it. Basically, keep dragging things out without reaching a conclusion, and hold on tightly to your other papa (a male supporter). That’s what I’d like to suggest, but didn’t you say the other papa was just an acquaintance? Have you actually managed to keep him? One of my monthly arrangement partners was seeing an extremely generous (well-paying) papa in a famous downtown nightlife district, yet she tried to meet another papa in the same area. I gave her a lecture, asking, “Are you stupid?” I didn’t actually say that, but I thought she was a complete idiot. You were far too careless, so it’s only natural that you’re facing the consequences and may be cut off. Take this as a lesson and reflect on it.

I didn’t comment on your previous question. At first, I thought you should just break things off, even if it meant risking his anger. But since he’s been helping you as a client of your business, even going so far as to arrange a contract, I’m concerned that ending things carelessly could end up hurting you. That said, because you’re so deeply dependent on his support, I don’t think you can really fade out gradually unless you’re prepared to let everything fall apart. If you’re willing to accept harsh consequences in exchange for a stress-free life, then it may be an option. But since you’re concerned about your finances, I’d advise against it. Personally, I think it would be better to make a medium- to long-term plan. I hope this helps.