I’m thinking about quitting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but I’m very anxious about how I’ll manage financially afterward.

I’ll answer by imagining what I would do, although it may not be very convincing since I’ve never had financial problems in my life. If I were going to quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I’d also quit any expensive lessons I was taking. Wouldn’t you be able to make ends meet by working more instead? If you want to continue your lessons, then I’d continue papa-katsu as well. I don’t know why you want to quit, but maybe your current papa (a male supporter) is about to cut things off and you haven’t been able to find a new one. If that’s the case, I think I’d give up the lessons after all. When you say “lessons,” do you mean training in the performing arts? I don’t know what field you’re in, but being in your 30s is often the point where you have to decide whether to give up on your dream or keep pursuing it. If you still haven’t made anything of it by that age, it probably means you don’t have extraordinary talent—at least not that you’re aware of, even if you love it dearly. Find another source of fulfillment that doesn’t cost as much. Keep your current lessons going as a hobby, within reasonable limits. I thought the questioner’s papa-katsu was actually what it’s supposed to be: a patron supporting someone’s dream. I’m also a papa to two aspiring artists. P.S. I asked ChatGPT to write an answer, and it suggested more specific ways to save money, like “reviewing your fixed expenses.” I see. Maybe AI is better than the answers here.

Am I right in understanding that you’re seeing a papa you don’t actually like? Or is he a papa you do like, but you want to leave papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? I encourage all my monthly arrangement partners to move on from me, but if they genuinely want to continue seeing me—and therefore continue receiving support—I plan to keep giving them an allowance as long as I’m still earning. In fact, that’s what I do. In this day and age, it’s impossible to live on a husband’s salary alone. I’ve also heard some frightening things. I recently heard that young men today don’t hand their paychecks over to their wives even after getting married, and that it’s normal for wives to have no spending money and live by dipping into their savings. I could hardly believe it, but apparently this is considered normal among young couples these days. I couldn’t immediately understand what it meant to marry a man who wouldn’t support you financially, but after hearing the same thing from several people, it seems that’s just how things are nowadays. I want to tell you that continuing papa-katsu is also an option—if you have a good papa.

Personally, I’d say: why not continue? If you meet your papa four times a month for four hours each time, that’s 16 hours a month. I don’t know whether you’re studying for a certification, but if it’s four hours a week—or six hours including travel time—you should be able to make that time. There are roughly 720 hours in a month. Even if we calculate based on six hours, papa-katsu would only take up 24 hours, which is just 3% of your time. You could use that time to study for your certification or prepare to become independent, then quit once your income becomes stable. Personally, I don’t think things will go well if you force yourself to give it up. If you’re starting a business, it probably won’t be stable at first anyway, so why not continue papa-katsu after you start? You could even go into business with your papa. One of my monthly arrangements is married. The other day, after I made her an offer, I found out she’s been involved with dating clubs longer than Fuu. She’s now over 30, and she’s currently running a business with the papa she met in her twenties. Rather than being bound by conventional ideas or empty notions of what’s “proper,” I think you should take a chance if there’s a possibility. Do you have to quit papa-katsu someday? No. → If it’s with a wonderful, trustworthy person, there’s no reason you can’t continue. If you’re comfortable together, you could even go into business together. The important thing is judging the person properly, though…

I think your decision, made while working toward your future, is truly admirable. That said, with your current income, it may be difficult to maintain your previous standard of living and pace of saving. Rather than trying to keep everything exactly as it is, it might help to reassess your priorities—what you need to protect for now and what you can temporarily let go of. That may make both your feelings and your circumstances a little easier to manage. For example, your choices may differ depending on whether you prioritize lessons or learning that will benefit your future, or financial stability in your daily life. I imagine this is a challenging transitional period, but your direction is very positive. By adjusting things little by little to match reality, I believe you can move toward a more sustainable situation. I’m rooting for you.

If you were receiving ¥200,000–¥300,000 a month and still managed to save ¥100,000–¥200,000, that suggests you’d be about ¥100,000 short each month even after stopping papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and no longer putting money into savings. In that case, you’d need to find somewhere to cut ¥100,000 in expenses. For example, if you currently live alone, moving back in with your family could potentially eliminate rent, utilities, and food costs, reducing your expenses by around ¥100,000. Alternatively, if you’re working toward establishing yourself in a specialized field and the preparation is taking both time and money, you could temporarily put that on hold until your income increases. > I’m wondering whether this is realistically possible. Of the two options above, I think either could be realistic. But that’s assuming you’re planning to quit papa-katsu. Another option might be to continue papa-katsu until you’ve established yourself in your chosen field. Ultimately, it’s up to you what you decide to do.

As others have said, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I think it’s fine to gradually reduce what used to be 100 down toward zero.