If someone says they’ll send the allowance upfront via PayPay or a similar service before meeting for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), is it a scam? Does that mean they won’t actually show up?

By any reasonable assessment, this is highly likely to be a scam. There are plenty of women in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so it might be genuine—but I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking that kind of chance.

Since this wouldn’t happen at a dating club, I assume you’re talking about meeting through a dating app, social media, or something similar. I’ve hardly ever heard of anyone successfully meeting after receiving an allowance upfront. Most of the stories seem to be about the other person not showing up even after being paid in advance. Occasionally, someone claims they did meet, but I suspect those people may be in on it too. Basically, the minimum precautions are: - Men should never pay in advance before meeting. - Women should never accept payment afterward. That said, at a dating club, it can be difficult. If a woman asks for the allowance as soon as they enter the room, the man may feel uncomfortable. However, if she doesn’t receive the allowance, she can contact the club, and the club will check with the man. In most cases, he’ll say something like, “I forgot. I’ll pay.” The problem arises when the allowance amount hasn’t been agreed on. In that situation, it’s difficult for the club to intervene, so please make sure to agree on the allowance before going to the hotel.

What do you think, though? Not just with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—you generally wouldn’t pay upfront unless you really trusted the other person. I can understand paying in advance via PayPay right before becoming intimate at a hotel after meeting, but if it’s before you even meet, it just sounds like the PayPay version of a wire-transfer scam…

Do they mean they want you to send the money before you meet? You should definitely avoid that. That would be unheard of at Universe Club, but apparently there are plenty of cases where someone asks you to pay for an investment or something, then disappears. Hope that helps.

In this world, asking for money upfront is basically always a scam. You almost certainly won’t get to meet them. Another common scam—or whatever you want to call it—is when, after you’ve been seeing someone for a while, they say they urgently need a substantial amount of money for some personal reason, and promise to continue seeing you without an allowance until the total allowance they would have received equals that amount. Once you hand over the money, you should assume they’ll disappear. So if someone brings up that kind of arrangement, I generally end things. Of course, it’s different when you’ve been seeing each other for a long time, have built trust, and know a reasonable amount about each other’s private lives. Personally, I don’t think of it as lending money to a woman I’m seeing. I give it more as a bonus—a way of saying, “Thanks for always treating me so well.” Naturally, her usual allowance remains unchanged. That said, a genuinely decent woman usually won’t ask by saying, “Could you lend me some money?” The same goes for men, but money that’s lent generally doesn’t come back, and it often creates tension in the relationship. So it’s probably best not to lend money for personal matters. If someone you’re truly close to is genuinely in trouble, the best approach may be to make it look like a loan formally, while effectively treating it as money you’re giving them.