A man made me an offer, and the place the club sent me was an Instagrammable café. I’d been there with a friend before, and it was almost entirely young women, with the tables placed very close together. If the price range is about the same, I’d honestly prefer somewhere like Tsubakiya or Renoir. Would it leave a bad impression if I suggested changing the location before our first date?

>Would suggesting a change of location before the date leave a bad impression? You haven’t met yet, right? With Universe, the staff arrange everything, so you could tell them something like: “I’ve been to that café with a friend before, and I’m worried I might run into them. Would it be possible to change it to a place that isn’t as popular with women?” They’ll probably check with the man and get back to you. It may depend on how you phrase it, but many women are concerned about being recognized, so it’s perfectly normal to ask. Since the staff are arranging things, they may be able to communicate it tactfully for you. Normally, the first meeting is over a meal, and quite a few women prefer a private room. Men understand that too, and a considerate man may even choose that kind of restaurant without being asked. It can be difficult to bring it up after you’ve already met, since you may worry about ruining the mood. But if you ask in advance, I think it’s fine. >“For a first date, Saizeriya is the only option, right? Denny’s would be the next best choice.” Some people might actually believe that, so I don’t think jokes like that are very helpful. The staff also see family restaurants as a sign that the man is difficult to deal with, and they sometimes receive complaints from women about it, which puts them in an even more difficult position.

Since it sounds like a restaurant that would suit someone you know, you could suggest something like: “How about this place nearby?” If it’s not a private room and you’re not even having a meal, then at the very least, if it’s just coffee, they should choose a spacious café in a city hotel or somewhere similar. They don’t seem very good at reading the room in the first place, and they don’t seem to have much money either. Even if the questioner makes a bad impression and the offer gets canceled, it might actually be for the best in the long run. First impressions matter, so don’t put up with things you’re uncomfortable with. Clearly communicate your requests, preferences, and what you don’t want done. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t something you should do at the expense of your own comfort.

For a first date, Saizeriya is the obvious choice. Denny’s would be my second pick. No one even imagines someone doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) at Saizeriya or Denny’s, so they’re hidden gems. There’s also plenty of space between tables. So try replying, “I’d like to go to Saizeriya.” P.S. I’m not joking—I genuinely use family restaurants. I almost never go to expensive places. For a first meeting, it’s either a family restaurant or a café. I lower their expectations and observe how they act. With B1 types, this lets me assess the woman quite well: whether she only cares about money or is also interested in things beyond money, for example. It helps bring out her personality. In my case, my allowance is clearly higher than what other papas (male supporters) offer, so if I choose an expensive restaurant for the first meeting, I end up matching with women I’m not interested in. That’s why I do it this way. I’ll give a generous allowance to women I have a monthly arrangement with, but I won’t give a high allowance to a woman who doesn’t understand the value of money. Also, if I choose a cheap restaurant, even a woman I really like is much more likely to cut me off, so it puts my skills to the test. I find that process thrilling. If you choose an expensive restaurant and take her to a high-end city hotel, there isn’t a woman who won’t fall for it. That’s no fun at all. Even now, I’m testing a B1 woman who’s actually an undercover A type in a dating-type scam by choosing cheap restaurants every time. I really like her looks, so now I’m focused on what she’s like inside. If her personality is good, I plan to tell her the allowance I’ll offer when we officially start seeing each other. At this stage—pretending to be a papa who doesn’t look particularly wealthy—having her fade out on me is an important part of the filtering process. But I don’t want her to cut me off, so I’m always on edge texting her on LINE. When she reads my message, I think, “Yes!” When she leaves me on read, I become a mess, but I endure it—and just now, I managed to get a firm commitment for our next dinner date. Even ordinary papa-katsu becomes much more exciting when there’s the possibility of being the one who gets cut off.

You can simply say, “There’s a good chance I’ll run into friends, so I’d prefer a different restaurant.” He probably chose it after thinking about the kind of place a girl might like. It’s not something you need to force yourself to go along with. Also, I just thought of this: at Instagram-worthy restaurants, everyone takes photos, so I’d be worried that if someone you know is there, they might take a photo that could be used as evidence.

In my case, just like the person asking the question, I don’t want anyone overhearing a conversation that sounds like papa-katsu, and I feel self-conscious in public. So I actually welcome requests to change the venue. But everyone’s different, and some papas may not care at all and might even want to visit Instagram-worthy places with a younger woman… Why not explain your reasons and say something like, “I’d really appreciate it if we could switch to a place like that (such as Tsubakiya), but if it’s something you really want, I’m okay with it”?

I don’t think there’s any problem at all. Just consult your club representative exactly as you’ve phrased this question, and ask them to explain it to the man in a way that gets the first meeting venue changed to Tsubakiya or Renoir.

Personally, I don’t think it leaves a bad impression at all. If the woman doesn’t feel comfortable, even an arrangement that could work out may fall through. If you don’t make it clear from the start, you may continue to be offered date plans that make you uncomfortable even after the arrangement begins.

Once, for a first meeting only, I noticed that the woman had listed café-hopping as one of her hobbies, so I booked afternoon tea at a café in town. We stood out like a sore thumb, and the tables were so close together that everyone could hear our conversation. It ended up feeling really awkward. For a first meeting, I think it’s best to reserve a private or semi-private room where you can talk at your leisure. Alternatively, choose a restaurant with enough space between tables to ensure privacy. Once you’ve gotten to know each other better, you’ll have more freedom to enjoy all kinds of settings. I believe that’s when you can really start to enjoy what a dating club has to offer.

If the club arranges the meeting point in front of a restaurant, do you actually go into that restaurant? Or is there a chance you meet in front of one place and then go to a different restaurant? I’ve never gone inside a place just because the meeting point was listed as “in front of [somewhere].” However, those places weren’t restaurants. If it were a restaurant, would you go in? That would mean letting them know where you’re going from the start, right?