I have a friend who always says things like:

When someone says “a serious relationship,” all I can picture is a naked penis, blade fully exposed, being sheathed in a vagina. So what exactly does the questioner consider a “serious relationship”? It’s not about whether money is involved or whether you’re getting married, right? At least, that’s not clear from the question. Oh, is this actually a survey asking, “What constitutes a serious relationship?” If so, I’ve already given my answer. A relationship where, with both parties’ consent, you accept the risks of pregnancy and STIs and have unprotected sex—that’s what I call a serious relationship. Since that puts women at a disadvantage, how about depositing around 100 million yen and having a lawyer hold a written agreement stating, “If you become pregnant and DNA testing confirms that the child is mine, I will pay 500,000 yen a month in child support from this fund”? I don’t recognize love or affection—or any other such illusions—as a “serious relationship.” To me, they’re nothing more than an extension of, or the broader territory surrounding, sexual desire.

I’ll answer regardless of whether we have the same ID—I’m enjoying this too, lol. (Though I’m sorry if you’re seriously troubled by this.) My answer is: if you have absolutely no desire to get married and can honestly say you never will, then maybe it’s fine to let yourself get swept up in it. Go ahead—don’t worry about your biological clock or anything. Also, there are some contradictions in what you said: “Has anyone developed a serious relationship through papa-katsu? Cases where they continued receiving money Cases where it became a relationship without money” …Is there really such a thing as a serious relationship where you keep getting paid? “They’re good at both dates and intimacy, have a clean-cut appearance, give me money, and have a good sense of personal distance.” …So is the money necessary or not? Which is it? Anyway, my conclusion is that once it becomes a “serious relationship,” you probably won’t be able to keep saying such sweet things as the ones above. You’ll both be genuinely serious, so don’t forget that some aspects of the relationship work precisely because it’s papa-katsu.

What do you think? I wonder if that kind of arrangement exists too. I don’t have much experience, so my answer may not be very helpful. I’m married myself, so a serious relationship isn’t possible, but there are still women I meet without an allowance. I do give them money for transportation, though. We met through Universe Club and used to see each other for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I believe she later got married and had children. Since I don’t engage with married women, we now just meet occasionally at a café. Personally, I think it’s better not to pursue an allowance-free arrangement through Universe Club. Hope this helps. P.S. Thank you, Maezawa. I don’t know whether you’re a man or a woman, but I answered seriously. I’m not sure what the questioner is trying to do, but I hope you get the answer you’re looking for. It’s tiring, so from now on, I’d appreciate it if questioners could at least specify their gender.

I’d like to become the kind of papa people see that way. That’s the ideal, really. I think that’s part of why papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is so popular. That said, according to the Pareto principle, only about the top 20% are good papas (and the same goes for women in papa-katsu). So it’s not all sunshine and roses for everyone. I think you and your friend are fortunate to be dating papas from that top 20%. And the way you both think also reflects the mindset of the top 20% of women who are good at papa-katsu. Like attracts like, after all. Having a positive attitude brings good people into your life.

I’ve been seeing some women for several years, but I’ve never crossed over into what you might call a romantic relationship. As your friend said, I think the biggest advantage of relationships that begin through a dating club is that, when things develop well, both parties can maintain a comfortable distance and build a pleasant relationship. Once you cross over into the romantic side, however, you may find yourself troubled by possessiveness or jealousy—for example, not wanting her to see other men. It sounds exhausting just imagining it. To avoid ending up in that situation, I think it’s best to advise women from the beginning to have around three papas (male supporters). It serves as a form of risk management, and it also makes your own position clear, which may reduce the chances of her becoming overly dependent on you. Of course, she might lose interest in seeing you after hearing that and feel that you’re not compatible. But even then, you could think of it as having avoided a messy situation down the road.

I know three women who moved beyond papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).

> I completely agree too—does that mean I’ve been influenced? A man in his twenties may have only around ten years of experience with women, whereas an older papa (a male supporter) has several times that—sometimes decades—of experience to draw on. His experience in work and society also makes him more tolerant and composed. When it comes to a papa with plenty of experience dating women, the only advantages a younger man may have are youth and stamina. (If he can be outdone by a younger man, that papa may simply be a real idiot—unfit to be a papa, perhaps? If he can make her feel bored even when she’s out drinking with female friends her own age, then I think a relationship involving an allowance can certainly work.) If she’s bored at a coworker’s drinking party or while hanging out with female friends, she can call her papa instead. She won’t have to pay anything, can enjoy a somewhat luxurious meal, receive an allowance, get driven home, and even stay at a hotel if she drinks herself unconscious. And if the mood takes them, there can be intimacy too… I don’t think men her own age can offer that kind of all-encompassing care. Or rather, I don’t think women can behave that freely with them. > Has anyone developed a serious relationship through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? I haven’t. Within the papa-katsu world, some women and their papas become extremely affectionate precisely because they can feel secure with each other. Others build a deep, trusting partnership because they both understand that it’s a transactional relationship. In papa-katsu, regardless of the arrangement, the intimacy can keep deepening—as though the allowance and the relationship will continue forever—instead of becoming stale and routine like ordinary romantic relationships often do. Based on my experiences meeting people in various settings in the past, I believe a serious relationship can develop anywhere. That can certainly happen through papa-katsu as well. When it comes to relationships between men and women, things can happen that only the people involved can truly understand.