For those of you who see someone on a monthly arrangement, how many hours do you usually spend together per date on average?

I don’t have that much experience yet, but probably around one or two hours? It may also be because I haven’t met anyone I’ve gotten close to over a long period of time. Keeping up with younger girls can be a little tiring for me too. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a sales pitch, but I do try to play along, haha. Whether we’re at a restaurant or a hotel, I usually signal that it’s time to wrap things up by saying, “I’m going to stay here by myself for a bit.” Everyone seems to pick up on it. I’d love to meet someone who makes me lose track of time, haha.

When Fuu meets her monthly arrangement, it usually lasts 2–5 hours, depending on the person and the date. A members-only yakiniku restaurant can easily take a long time… Men are less perceptive than women and tend to take things literally, so if you say: “I’m having fun.” “I want to stay together longer.” they’ll believe you. That can be effective sales talk if the supporter benefits from extending the time, like at a hostess club, but otherwise it’s honestly not sales talk—it’s talk that works against you. The beginning is what matters. When deciding the allowance, tell him upfront that the date will be four hours. If he suggests a longer date, turn it down by saying you have plans afterward, need to go back to your parents’ house, or that your mother is visiting from there. If you allow overly long dates early in the relationship, they’ll become the default. I understand. In my eight years of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), there was one time when I took some non-sales talk seriously—things like: “I’m having fun.” “I want to spend more time with you.” “You’re handsome.” “I like you.” I caught real feelings, only to suddenly get blocked. Stop using non-sales talk and set some reasonable boundaries. If you want to keep him interested, compete on the quality you provide within those four hours. Especially with an adult relationship (intimate), that’s how you stand out from other women in papa-katsu!

The person asking the question and Makeotoko would probably hit it off if they made a reverse offer and went on a date. I’ve never heard him say either “I’m having fun” or “I’d like to spend more time with you,” but do you say things like that to your papa? I thought those lines sounded kind of off, so I gave it some thought. In my case, what matters is whether I’m enjoying myself and whether I want to spend time together—I don’t really care how the girl feels about it. Isn’t that one of the perks of being the person paying? If you need other people to respect your feelings to that extent, doesn’t life get pretty difficult for you? I get the sense that you have low self-esteem and just want attention. You should realize that this isn’t sales talk at all. “I’m having fun” and “I’d like to spend more time with you” are lines the papa should be saying; the girl’s response would be, “I’m happy to hear you say that.” That’s the kind of exchange we often have. Addendum > “I’m having fun.” “I’d like to spend more time with you.” If you read between the lines, aren’t these phrases things the person asking the question wants other people to say to them? Digging a little deeper, they may be things the questioner wanted to hear from their parents. I’ll stop here, because if I poke around in this area too much and hit a sensitive spot, they might genuinely resent me. > “I’d like to spend more time with you” is a sales line hostesses use at a cabaret club when asking customers to extend their time. I see—hadn’t looked at it that way. That’s a good lesson. > Swinger bars and such So, after going to SM events with Yozakura, you go to swinger bars too? You’re an interesting person, haha. If you ever come to Nagoya, stop by and take a look. If you see an old man with a couple of girls around twenty, gathering several single men and having them compete over how to tear pantyhose or use vibrators, that’s probably me, haha.

Basically, it’s two hours having a meal and two hours in a private room—four hours total. At least, I don’t recall women who stayed with me for a long time using that kind of sales talk very often. Usually, I can tell from the first meeting when someone gives off a strong “this is just a job” vibe, so I generally don’t see them again. Of course, I keep in mind that women are meeting me for their allowance. That said, quite a few of them have continued seeing me for over five years, and I’ve never felt that they were enduring something painful just for the money. Maybe I’m simply oblivious, but being able to overlook things is also essential for getting through life. Conversely, if someone can keep meeting me for that long while enduring something painful purely for the money, I think that alone deserves respect—I’m not being sarcastic. I certainly couldn’t do it. Anyway, I think it ultimately benefits both sides if you open up to some extent and make the time enjoyable. That applies emotionally, but also in practical terms. Men naturally end up investing more in women who make them feel that way.

Some girls wrap things up in just over an hour, while on longer dates we might have drinks and dinner and spend around four hours together. I never take them on trips, but some do stay overnight while keeping the allowance the same. To be honest, I’d rather avoid long dates myself. As you mentioned, some girls say things like, “I want to stay longer even if I have to put up with it,” or make blatantly suggestive comments that you end up taking seriously. If it’s that painful, I think you’d be better off finding a papa (a male supporter) who doesn’t cause you stress. Hope this helps.

> I understand that a papa-katsu woman’s job is to go along with a long date while smiling and lying, saying, “I’m having fun♡.” It’s true that compensated dating traditionally meant dates limited to hotels, whereas papa-katsu may involve hotels but can also include other kinds of dates. So I understand that dates can sometimes be quite long. However, pretending to enjoy it—in other words, forcing yourself to go along with it—doesn’t seem like a genuine date to me. Papa-katsu may be somewhat male-oriented, and you do need to accommodate the man’s preferences to a certain extent. Even so, forcing yourself to spend time with someone as a “job” feels a little different from what it should be. Of course, I understand that finding someone else can be difficult, but I don’t think it’s something you should do at the cost of your own happiness. > That’s just sales talk, isn’t it? Do you actually take it seriously? Since this isn’t a hostess club or an adult entertainment service, I think people do take it at least half-seriously. And it seems normal for men to be looking for women who genuinely feel that way. That’s why men tend to dislike women who seem too professional. They prefer women who appear as though they hadn’t done anything like this until yesterday. (Though since we’re talking about after meeting them, it is a problem if women like that don’t receive any offers.) > It’s painful. I think you should end things with that person. If you feel the same way with everyone else, then perhaps this isn’t for you. You may be better off looking for a job where you can earn money. This isn’t a workplace. I’m sure there’s somewhere that suits you better. Good luck.

“I’m having fun.” “I’d like to spend more time together.” A straightforward, kind person might take that at face value and think, “I guess I should stay with her as long as possible.” That ends up having the opposite effect. By a long date, do you mean something like from lunchtime until the last train? If so, I think it’s better to meet on days when a long date is impossible to begin with, such as an evening before a workday. Also, scheduling dinner after the hotel—with a restaurant reservation made in advance—might help you control the amount of time spent at the hotel. Personally, I try to wrap things up within four hours, including the meal and time in the room. I only use LINE to coordinate schedules.

Your question brought back some memories. Looking back now, I realize I probably went on an unusually large number of dates with women before joining Universe, both in terms of frequency and time spent. For 20 years, from age 30 onward, I doubt many people dated as much as I did… Maybe it was an illness? Probably one of the most serious cases in Japan. Compared with that, my dates with club women are about one-third as frequent and considerably shorter. Before joining the club, there was a beautiful woman who later joined it herself. Since there was no allowance involved in our relationship, she could call me casually whenever she wanted. Sometimes we would even go to a super sento in her bare face and what looked like pajamas… When there’s no allowance involved, it’s easy for both sides because neither of us has to worry about things like how much time we’re spending. She can call me whenever she feels like it, too. With club arrangements, neither side can be quite that relaxed. Since the relationship is connected to an allowance, both people naturally have to be considerate. My purpose in meeting them is to go and give them their allowance, so even five minutes would be enough for the date itself. After that, I leave things up to the woman and see how they develop. Having seen how some beautiful women who joined the club treat their club men, I have to keep in mind that they’re seeing me because there’s an allowance involved. So my dates with club women tend to be quite short, and the length depends on the woman. For some of them, even when we go to a hotel, the average date is under two hours. It’s more like we’re both making use of whatever free time we have… If she calls, I make time to see her. For some reason, once someone tells me they want to see me, I’m not very good at turning them down—far less so than with club arrangements. If it’s someone I have dinner with almost every day, we don’t even spend two hours together. If we’re just having noodles, it can be less than 40 minutes. On the other hand, if she wants to go somewhere on a day off, I’ll spend the whole day with her. The allowance doesn’t change by even a yen, so if she wants to enjoy herself, I’m happy to go all out with her. If she lets me go early, that simply gives me more time to get work done. With a girl I’m especially fond of—different from the ones who receive their allowance in advance—I’m comfortable being with her, so I stay with her for as long as she wants, doing my best, perhaps. Sometimes it’s just under two hours; other times it’s ten hours. Averaged out, it may be relatively long by club standards. I’ve written that sex exists for women, but I also believe that dates—and what happens during them—are for the woman as well. I’m actually a pretty boring man, so honestly, there isn’t anything in particular I want to do. When people ask about my hobbies, I can’t exactly say “spending time with women,” so it’s a difficult question. Also, I’m the type of person who wants the other person to be more satisfied than I am, so neither the content nor the length of a date is based on my own preferences. > It’s painful. The fact that you’re still able to put in the effort makes me think this is less about papa-katsu that you enjoy and more like a job you do to earn money. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I imagine the men you meet are also choosing this arrangement because they want that transactional relationship. If both sides are satisfied, you could say that they’re meeting each other’s needs.

The time I spend on dates with my regular adult partners has been getting shorter every year. These days, it averages around two hours. There’s no way I would take a woman’s words of affection at face value. I’m not that naïve. To begin with, there’s no way a young, cute girl would genuinely be attracted to an older guy as a romantic partner. She might like me as her papa (a male supporter), but not as a man. I know that perfectly well, so sales talk or sales-like behavior just kills the mood for me. The only girl I’m pursuing is a Gold-class woman I met through Universe Club. We’ve been seeing each other for over four years now. She’s the only one I’d like to go on long dates with—but she won’t, unfortunately. Of course, she’s exactly my type, and the intimacy is amazing. But she’ll only see me for that, and she never agrees to meet unless I’m the one who asks. Even then, she turns me down four times out of five, saying she has work. Her pay-per-meeting allowance is 12. She doesn’t do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with anyone else besides me, and she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She’s very responsible about her work and lives a work-centered life. She must be having some financial difficulties, but she never tries to get money out of me. On the other hand, when she’s in a bind, she’ll apologetically come to me and say she needs help. She isn’t simply asking me for money. She’s a very mysterious girl—I have no idea what she’s thinking. She’s by far the most passionate in bed. It’s unprotected every time. My dates with her are also about two hours long. She’s the only one I’ve ever even thought I could live with. Living together with the others would be impossible, and I’ve turned them down. But there’s one girl I’ll apparently have to live with for about a month starting in April, and it’s causing me trouble. She’s exceptionally cute, but she’ll get in the way of my work. I want to work. Work is my hobby, and I like it more than sex.

Time? I think it depends on everyone’s schedules, but usually we spend as much time together as we reasonably can. The other day, I ended up spending my first night with a flight attendant. She didn’t seem to want to go home at all… and she didn’t even ask for an allowance… 😅 As for sales talk, no one has ever said anything like that to me. They do message me afterward to thank me for a fun time, but that kind of direct sales pitch would give me the creeps, haha.

When it’s short, it’s about three hours (no adult relationship). Normally, it’s four hours. When it’s a long date, it can be eight hours. So I’d say the average is around four to five hours. The allowance varies depending on the length, too. No one has ever said, “I wish we could spend more time together,” (which is a sales line club hostesses use when asking customers to extend their time). I plan our dates around places the woman wants to visit, so I take “I’m having fun” at face value.

It’s two hours for the first half and two hours for the second half. That’s the limit of my mental and physical stamina. If I’m the one making the effort, that’s about my limit. But if I don’t have to worry about anything at all, I feel like I could go on longer. I also enjoy guessing what time it is based on my sense of time, and even without being able to see a clock, I usually end up finishing right around the time I had in mind. I also have other commitments packed in, like scheduled phone calls late at night and online meetings early in the morning, so naturally there are time constraints. I even decide in advance how many hours I’ll spend spacing out or aimlessly surfing the internet, so I do the same with dates.