When I’m intimate with a man who has a fuller stomach, I feel pain. It’s always the lower part of the opening that hurts.

First of all, body shape can affect how your bodies press against each other. In particular, if the man has a thicker midsection, the angle and pressure can change depending on the position, and it’s quite possible for extra strain to be placed near the entrance. This isn’t unusual at all, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your body. Even so, being told things like, “Maybe you’re too loose,” or “Why don’t you work out more?” is incredibly inconsiderate. Blaming the person who’s in pain is truly lacking in compassion. It’s completely understandable that you’d feel angry. Rather than body shape determining compatibility, I think the way your bodies meet, the angle, and the way you move matter much more. Emotional compatibility can also have more of an impact than you might expect. When you’re with someone you feel safe with, your body naturally relaxes. On the other hand, if you still feel uneasy or uncomfortable around someone, you may tense up without realizing it. Of course, there can also be physical compatibility issues. The places that feel pressure can vary depending on the combination of body shapes and sizes, so sometimes it simply comes down to compatibility. What seems to be bothering you most this time, though, is probably the way he brushed it off by saying, “I never said that.” It likely still weighs on you because you didn’t feel there was any sincerity behind it. Before physical compatibility, the important question is whether this is someone who can acknowledge and accept your feelings. If that foundation isn’t there, it’s difficult to feel comfortable together, no matter what your body shapes are. Please don’t blame your body. Feeling pain means your body is giving you an important signal. Be kind to yourself and treat it with care.

It’s 15 cm long and 15 cm around. The girth is honestly a public nuisance—I really wish it would shrink. Does that fat old guy give you 30,000 yen or more per meeting? If not, I’d drop him immediately. P.S. I feel bad saying this, but I’m actually not good at oral. I never ask for it myself, and even when it happens, I’m always worried that I’m inconveniencing them if it lasts more than three minutes. I’d rather do the licking myself. At 16.5 cm, you have to be careful—it can hit too far inside.

Pain during sex is kind of my specialty. I’m a papa who likes helping women grow and develop, haha. The most important thing to understand is that psychological factors play a major role in many cases of pain during sex. The vagina is designed to be relatively insensitive to pain—it’s where babies come out, after all. So when someone still feels pain, it’s often related to a kind of PTSD or past trauma. Under certain conditions, the brain mistakenly recognizes the situation as “something that’s going to hurt.” In the questioner’s case, I think the key trigger is probably the phrase “an overweight papa.” My penis is at the upper end of an L size, just short of XL, so you’d expect its thickness to cause pain. Even so, I’ve sometimes helped young women overcome pain during sex. The method is very simple: after positioning it, I insert it extremely slowly, using tiny strokes—just 2–3 mm per stroke. It can take five to ten minutes to advance just 1 cm. If she shows even the slightest sign of pain, that’s the end of the session. Once it starts hurting, we stop for the day. Don’t forget to hug her, tell her, “You did really well,” and comfort her. Apparently, repeating this can help her overcome pain during sex. I enjoy helping women who are virgins take that first step, and I’m used to it, though virgins require a different approach. Still, teaching women who struggle with pain during sex how to enjoy intimacy is rewarding in its own way. When they cry and thank me, saying, “It didn’t hurt. I never knew it could feel this good,” I feel proud. One reason I rarely make offers to women in their 30s or 40s is that many of them are already experienced and can reach pleasure easily, so there’s less enjoyment in helping them develop. If you’re young, inexperienced, and struggling with pain during sex, try making a reverse offer sometime. Additional note: I don’t think size or length matters that much. It’s more about where you make contact. If you try several positions, you’ll always find the best way to match up, regardless of what kind of penis you have. After that, you just keep applying the same stimulation to the spot that feels good. Once you’ve helped her overcome pain during sex or experience vaginal orgasm for the first time, you’ve built trust. At that point, you can gradually introduce a little of your own preferences. Before long, she’ll be completely drawn into your style and start clinging to you in a hug whenever you meet. Additional note 2: Pain during sex is like this: imagine a man having another woman perform oral sex on him after he’s previously been bitten really hard and hurt. If he’s nervously thinking, “What if she bites me again?” he won’t be able to focus on pleasure, let alone climax, right? Penis size is similar when it comes to oral sex. Some facial features and mouth shapes are better suited to it—I personally think a long face with a prominent chin suggests someone has a mouth well suited to oral sex, while a round face with little chin does not. But more important than that is finding the spots that feel good by watching your partner’s reactions. When a man penetrates a vagina, I think he should approach it with the mindset that he’s giving the reverse of oral sex. Some women love oral sex and work hard at it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it feels good. Just like with a penis, there are clear spots inside the vagina where she wants you to make contact. So remove her fear of pain, help her relax, find those spots, and keep stimulating them. Some people may think, “Why should I have to do all that when I’m paying?” But that’s simply my preference—and an expression of my desire for control.

Men tend to have clearly defined preferences when it comes to body types. Some prefer slim, curvy women, others prefer average builds, and some like heavier women. Everyone has their own preferences. It’s probably impossible to pursue a relationship with a woman whose looks and figure are completely different from what you’re attracted to. That’s an issue that comes before physical compatibility. Even if women are the ones receiving offers, they’re still going to have their own preferences to some extent, so I don’t think they need to meet men whose body types they simply can’t accept. If they want to turn someone down, I think it’s perfectly possible to do so based on his body type at the offer stage. I’ve written before that I believe sex exists for women’s sake, but wasting time that should be enjoyable feels like a major missed opportunity. Can an allowance really make up for that? I’m not sure…

> The lower part of the vaginal entrance hurts. Apparently, tearing can happen when the partner’s penis is large, regardless of whether he’s heavyset. I’ve heard of someone whose boyfriend was well-endowed and who went to the hospital, only to find that she had torn. So it’s possible that her being heavyset wasn’t the reason at all—that she just happened to be heavyset, while the actual cause was something else. That said, it seems that when your abdomen is pressed against by your partner’s stomach, it can feel heavy—and it may actually be heavy. > I’m also doing exercises to improve tightness. People who are naturally tight often seem to take pride in it. I’ve even heard of someone who was extremely tight—tight enough that even a single finger couldn’t be pulled out—but was devastated when her partner didn’t climax. I think it’s better to understand that tightness and pleasure are separate things. They may be proportional to some extent, but other factors also play a major role. > Does body type affect physical compatibility? I don’t think it’s as simple as saying that body type determines it, but I do believe physical compatibility exists. Since you experienced pain with this particular person, I think it would be best to accept that you simply weren’t compatible with him, regardless of whether he was heavyset, and move on.

I don’t think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is something you should keep doing if it means putting yourself through unpleasant or painful experiences. (Unless you already really like older men, I feel like having an adult relationship (intimate) with them involves putting up with quite a lot in the first place.) Also, men generally aren’t as good as women at picking up on subtle hints, and as they get older, their thinking tends to become less flexible too. So they probably won’t understand if you put it that way. But, of course, telling them exactly what you think would probably hurt their feelings. Even if you explained it and they understood, it sounds like the issue is the angle during penetration, so it may be difficult to improve. I think it’s better to part ways without saying anything and wait for an offer from a papa who doesn’t cause pain and feels good. I hope you’re able to meet a papa who appreciates your efforts—whether that’s working out or something else. By the way, Fuu is in his second year of strength training. At this age, I’m aiming for the best body I’ve ever had, and my abs are starting to show a little. My face is nothing special, but I do provide a nice view from the top position, lol. Compatibility really varies, doesn’t it? Lately, I’ve had two regular partners over 35 who are both very tight. One of them has children. It’s hard to put into words, but rather than being tightly clenched, it’s more of a soft, gentle tightness. It feels so good that I can climax several times, lol.

Length: 16.5 cm Girth: 12.5 cm I guess that’s about half of Seattle-san’s size, haha. I don’t have a protruding belly, but at this size, about one in four women complains of pain when we do it from behind. Hope that helps as a reference. Come to think of it, I once encountered the opposite kind of pain during sex. She was so tight that my penis hurt like hell, so we parted ways after just one time. **Update:** A 15-cm girth is incredible! Even many women tell me I’m “big,” but you’re 2.5 cm thicker than I am. You might be at Mike Tyson’s level.