Regarding the “sense of money” written in women’s profiles.

I see—when I hear “has high financial standards,” I can only think of interpretation ① (meaning I’d immediately rule out pursuing an arrangement), but I guess it could also mean ②. People say, “I have ordinary financial sense,” but you don’t often hear someone say, “I have low financial standards,” do you…? Generally, they might say, “I’m practical” or “I’m a modest, down-to-earth person.” So what would the opposite be? If they wrote, “My financial standards are on the higher side,” there probably wouldn’t be any misunderstanding. Or maybe, “I’m looking for a relatively generous allowance.” That sounds scary, lol.

I recently signed up as a respondent, and this is my first answer under the name Marques. I hope you’ll get to know me. As for women having high expectations about money, I personally tend to see them as women with high self-esteem. The problem, I think, is that this often isn’t backed up by much substance. In my case, I generally try to accommodate the woman’s requested terms. Once I’ve dated someone and my overall impression is that she’s “expensive,” I don’t go back on the arrangement. It doesn’t really have much to do with the actual amount. Over the past few years, I’ve gotten the impression that women who ask for slightly more generous terms are actually more likely to continue seeing me. Those who ask for less—or rather, the going rate—often end up having a fairly standard, by-the-book relationship, and I frequently don’t develop the desire to see them again. Hotel prices have remained high—nearly twice what they were before COVID, at least from what I can tell—and with the spread of dating apps, it feels like more women are approaching this with a strong sense of it being a job. Lately, I’ve found myself wondering what the point is.

This is Fullerene! Setting aside whether it’s a positive or negative thing, I really understood what you were feeling. That said, perhaps you could take it as a clue to the woman’s personality, including how she interprets it. If the term “sense of money” came up without the context of a dating club, I’d personally interpret it as②. However, since this is wording used in a dating club profile, I think it means①—and I believe most people who write their profiles intend it that way. More specifically, some people write their profiles with the thought that either interpretation could apply, creating a sort of “Which one do they actually mean?” impression. Others add supplementary information so readers won’t be confused about whether they mean① or②. These kinds of details reveal a person’s character, so I think it’s fine as things are. Hope this helps.

There may be various ways to interpret this, but this time I’ll offer my own biased take, limited to what appears in a profile. **Low-key, frugal attitude toward money** → This could also mean being strict about money they have to spend themselves. In the past, I met someone who claimed to cut expenses to the absolute minimum—and even took pride in being frugal—but I found her rather greedy. Some may also be the type to take home anything that’s free. **A more carefree attitude toward money** → They may tend to spend freely and enjoy high-end brands. Since they’re also loose with their own wallet, they may handle money carelessly, and some end up doing papa-katsu because of their reckless spending. They’re often late—or even overdue—with utility payments and the like. They can also be promiscuous, sleeping with any good-looking guy they happen to like. For papas who want to enjoy papa-katsu affordably, I think the ideal woman with a more modest attitude toward money isn’t simply someone who has a certain “sense of money,” but rather someone humble, considerate, and content with what she has.

As a matter of Japanese usage, ① is the correct answer, and ② is the questioner’s misunderstanding. Maybe the questioner wants to say, “Wait, if you think deeply about the phrase ‘sense of money’...” But imagine this were a Japanese-language question in middle school: ―――――― Question: What does “having a high sense of money” mean? ① Wanting expensive things and demanding a high-end standard, in a negative sense ② Understanding the generally accepted value of money and not making unreasonable demands, in a positive sense ―――――― Choosing ② would be marked wrong. Were you bad at Japanese, by any chance? That’s simply how language and communication work. Their purpose is often to convey a feeling or atmosphere rather than strict logical precision. That’s why you sometimes meet people who are good at math but bad at Japanese. Update: And if we’re taking it even further, the idea that “wanting expensive things and demanding a high-end standard” is negative, while “understanding the generally accepted value of money and not making unreasonable demands” is positive, is also just the questioner’s personal opinion. Did you notice that? Keeping your own intuitive assumptions intact while being unable to interpret other people’s words with a sense of how Japanese works may be a somewhat self-centered trait.

I think it differs from person to person, so you should assume that it’s impossible to draw any conclusions from this alone. For example, suppose someone asks, “Would you say you have a strong sense of cleanliness?” If someone answers yes, how clean are they actually? You really have no way of knowing. Someone who thinks brushing their teeth every morning is enough to qualify as “clean” might answer yes even if their clothes are dirty. Likewise, if you ask, “How clean is a man who says he has a strong sense of cleanliness?” all you can really say is that it depends on the person. I think it’s the same here. With that in mind, if we try to find an answer, some people may be using the average on dating apps as their benchmark. Since the average allowance on apps is often around ¥30,000, they may interpret “I have high financial expectations” as meaning, “I want an allowance of ¥40,000, ¥50,000, or more.” If they regularly read Q&A posts, they may use ¥50,000 as their baseline because so many respondents answer ¥50,000. In that case, “I have high financial expectations” would mean, “I want ¥60,000, ¥70,000, or more.” If neither of those applies, it would depend on how they compare themselves with whatever amount they assume other people are probably receiving—for example, ¥70,000. Also, an intelligent woman might carefully analyze the Japanese and interpret “having a high sense of money” as meaning: Someone who spends money where it matters, but never wastes it—someone who can properly judge whether something is necessary. In that case, “I have a high financial sense” means “I’m someone who properly understands the value of money.” That’s actually the exact opposite of how men tend to interpret it, so the answer may also depend on whether the person properly understands the Japanese wording. Having a high financial sense means being smart enough to know what a fair price is. So, questioner, would you say you have a high or low financial sense? While reading other people’s answers, I wondered whether describing someone’s financial sense as “high” or “low” was actually incorrect Japanese, so I asked ChatGPT. It said that “having a high financial sense” generally means: - Understanding the value of money well - Having a good sense of market prices - Tending not to waste money So it seems that using “high” and “low” isn’t necessarily incorrect Japanese after all. If that’s the case, perhaps men really are just too focused on money. Still, most men seem to interpret “having a high financial sense” as meaning “being an expensive woman”—in other words, a woman who expects a high allowance—so women should probably be careful.

It’s hard to know what “having expensive tastes” really means, isn’t it? I assume “high financial expectations” on a woman’s profile basically means she wants a high allowance. I do give women more than the going rate, but I never go to upscale restaurants or anything like that. I meet them at family restaurants or cafés for our first meetings. So I’m not really sure whether I’m considered someone with expensive tastes or not.

It’s really just a softened way of asking, “How much allowance do you want?” So honestly, it depends on the person. I’ve met women who said they weren’t very money-minded, yet wanted a fairly high allowance and were pretty focused on money. On the other hand, some women said they were quite money-minded, but when I met them, they were pretty ordinary—or even less focused on money than others. So I’d just use the overall comments as a rough guide, make an offer, and see what they’re like when you meet. On Patro, people usually list their desired allowance. Even if they don’t, you can confirm it by message beforehand, so I check with them before making an offer on Fuu.

Even if someone writes that they have expensive tastes, if that applied across the board, they’d have no financial worries at all—so, aside from exceptional cases, they probably wouldn’t join a club in the first place, right? And even when someone says they like expensive things, what they want to spend money on varies completely from person to person. It’s perfectly normal to mix and match—from designer brands to 100-yen-shop items or GU, even for similar products… If I had to interpret it, I’d take it as a message saying, “Please don’t approach me unless you’re generous with the allowance.” Maybe that’s why it didn’t particularly stick in my memory? Also, sometimes scouts make them state certain things about money, so it could be an aftereffect of that as well…

I don’t think you need to worry about it too much. Even if someone’s profile says they have a low sense of money and only receive a few tens of thousands of yen a month in allowance, their pay-per-meeting rate could still be several times higher—and the opposite can happen too. The timing of the meeting matters as well. If they’re popular, more people may start offering more, which can skew their expectations. If demand is lower, they may be willing to make things work with less. Since things can change depending on supply and demand after the profile stage, I think it’s best to meet them and decide for yourself. I’m saying this as someone who met my first person this week, couldn’t agree on the allowance, and parted ways without even exchanging contact details—pretty pathetic, I know.