I’d like to ask about Valentine’s Day.

In my opinion, either option is perfectly fine if it’s just a small box of chocolates costing around ¥1,000. ① A papa (a male supporter) you’re meeting for the second time Even if the timing is a little off, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Giving him a small gift as a way of saying, “Thank you for seeing me again,” feels perfectly natural. Something expensive or overly Valentine’s-themed might make him feel obligated, but that’s hardly a concern with a simple box of chocolates. ② A papa (a male supporter) you’re meeting for the first time I don’t think there’s anything strange about giving chocolates when you meet for the first time, either. The important thing is not to make it feel too serious. Something casual like, “Thank you for today. This is just a little something for you,” is probably ideal. It’s natural to hope, at least a little, that you’ll see him again, and men understand that. To avoid making that expectation feel too obvious, just keep these three things in mind: don’t expect anything in return, don’t spend too much, and don’t attach any deeper meaning to it. If it were me, I’d hand him the chocolates when receiving my allowance and say: “Thank you. And this is from me (´∀｀*) Hehe.” That’s probably the smoothest approach, and it won’t disrupt the mood. Even when you’re meeting for the first time or still have only a casual relationship after the second meeting, very few men would dislike receiving a small gift of chocolates. They only become wary when the feelings behind it seem too heavy. The chocolates shouldn’t be the main event—just a little extra. I think that’s the perfect level of distance to maintain. P.S. Furarén-san, Thank you for your kind words. The key point is the “(´∀｀*) Hehe” ☆

Nagoya Takashimaya is right in the middle of its Amour du Chocolat event. I don’t know about other cities, but the custom of giving chocolate for Valentine’s Day died out ages ago. I wondered how old the questioner was, then checked—and sure enough, they’re in their 40s. You should probably update your mindset. Even the term “obligation chocolate” is basically obsolete now. People buy chocolate for themselves, if they want it. Apparently Chocolate Bank is popular this year, and if you buy a little of this, that, and the other, it can easily run into tens of thousands of yen. You think, “It’s just chocolate,” but that’s Nagoya for you. Last week, one of the women I see through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) brought me a piece of something called White Cheese, saying, “I won it in SNO’s presale, so I wanted to share it!” Sure, I can tell the difference between that and Goncharoff chocolate, but honestly, men can’t really appreciate the difference in flavor once chocolate gets past a certain level of quality.

If it’s your first time meeting a papa (a male supporter) and it’s a week before Valentine’s Day, I don’t think you need to give him anything in particular. The same goes for a second meeting—you don’t really need to give him anything either. Whether it leads to a second meeting depends less on whether you gave him chocolate and more on whether: 1. You had an enjoyable time together, including the adult relationship (intimate) 2. You matched his preferences I feel like there aren’t really any other factors. This applies to both men and women, but it’s important to avoid negative impressions, such as having an unpleasant odor or displaying poor manners.

Personally, I’d be happy to receive something from someone I’m meeting for the second time. Just tell him how grateful you are, perhaps adding, “Since we couldn’t meet around Valentine’s Day.” I wouldn’t mind receiving something from someone I’m meeting for the first time either, but in that case, rather than anything expensive, a small, bagged gift costing a few hundred yen with a note like, “Since it’s that time of year ♥,” might feel less burdensome. Even something that simple would probably make a good impression. That’s just how I feel, though.

If it’s not handmade, isn’t expensive, and he seems married, I’d be happy if we could eat it together in my room. I’ve received something like that about twice before. Even if we don’t eat it in the room, I can always say I got it from someone at work, so if it’s just a chocolate gift, you probably don’t have to worry too much.

If it’s clearly something that costs less than 1,000 yen, I think it’s fine to give it to him. A papa (a male supporter) wouldn’t mind something under 1,000 yen, could finish it, and wouldn’t feel pressured about reciprocating.

>① The papa (a male supporter) I’ll be meeting for the second time, at the end of February Rather than making it specifically about Valentine’s Day, I think it would be good to give him some small gift. Apparently, some people—both men and women—bring a little snack or something. Since you just happened to spot some chocolate this time, you could give him chocolate and say it was a nice coincidence. However, until fairly recently, it was generally believed that men who drank alcohol didn’t really like sweets. Someone who enjoyed both alcohol and sweets might even be teased with, “You like both sides, huh?” So I think it depends on whether he likes chocolate. I like chocolate myself, and when it doesn’t contain vegetable oil, I feel like it’s the real deal. Even chocolates with 70% cacao can differ subtly in bitterness and sweetness depending on the manufacturer, so I sometimes think each brand has its own distinct characteristics. Ideally, around 60% cacao would be the perfect balance, but those seem to be disappearing from the market, leaving you to choose between higher-cacao chocolate and milk chocolate. Even with Godiva, some products are delicious while others are just average, and I’m not really sure how they divide them up. Anyway, if you’re simply thinking of giving him a small gift, I think it’s fine even if the timing is a little off and you frame it as “I happened to get some chocolate.” But I do think you should check whether he dislikes sweets. Even if he doesn’t like sweet things, chocolate with 80% cacao or more isn’t very sweet, so he might be okay with it—but sorry if you’re wondering what the point is of giving someone chocolate that isn’t sweet. >② The papa (a male supporter) I’ll be meeting for the first time, about a week before Valentine’s Day A week beforehand is probably just early enough that it would still be acceptable to give it to him. Still, the “I happened to get some chocolate” strategy might work well.

Whether it’s chocolate or anything else, I’d be happy to receive something tasty. If he’s married, he can’t really take home anything that suggests another woman. But something the whole family could eat—while saying he received it from his family or a business associate—might not feel very exciting. Anything that carries a woman’s presence, strong feelings, or some special meaning could make him uncomfortable if you’re not very close. Since obligatory chocolates have gone out of fashion too, I think something easy to accept—or something you can enjoy eating together—would be more than effective enough. How about giving him something that lets you share a meal and have a fun bonding session together?

This is Fullerene! I think Katase-san’s answer is spot-on. As expected! Personally, I’m not particularly fond of receiving gifts, but since you mentioned that you’re in your 40s, I thought it might work well in your case. When you’re in your 40s, people making offers often expect a certain level of composure and common sense that matches your age. That’s very important when it comes to seeing each other on an ongoing basis. Adding a small token can create an impression of being thoughtful and proper. Think of it as having the same effect as the little sweets placed in a room at a hot spring inn, haha.