When a man offers me less than the usual going rate for my class, I turn him down. Most of the time, he then quickly raises the offer by 20,000 or 30,000 yen.
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When that happens, I often think, “Then why didn’t you offer that amount in the first place?” By that point, I’ve lost interest, so I end things.
On the other hand, how would men feel if they turned down a woman asking for ¥150,000, only for her to hurriedly say, “Actually, ¥100,000 is fine”? If I were a man, I’d lose interest and still decline even if she lowered the amount. But do men see it as lucky if the price drops even a little and go ahead with the arrangement?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Once you’ve actually said it out loud, you’re already in a whole different world… Both men and women need to think this through carefully. The hardest part of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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> In that case, most people will offer 20,000 or 30,000 yen.
I’ve never done anything that pathetic. What the hell is that supposed to be? I’d like to give them a good scolding: “If you’re a man, don’t go back on your word!”
That said, even if they aren’t men, I’ve had exchanges like this several times:
“Could we do 50,000 yen for an adult relationship?”
“I’d like 80,000.”
“That’s unfortunate.” *(starts to get up)*
“No, actually, 50,000 is fine.”
“No, I’m sorry. I’d feel bad, so I’ll be leaving.”
I’m incredibly stubborn about things like this. Basically: “Don’t haggle over prices like the Chinese do. If you’re Japanese, once you’ve drawn your sword, don’t put it back in the sheath!”
…Maybe I have some kind of trauma from doing business with Chinese people. They’re honestly such a hassle. Indians have been pretty bad lately too. Surprisingly, Russians are the easiest to deal with—though they’re cold until you get to know them.
The questioner seems to be pure-blooded Japanese. The allowance doesn’t work for me, but I like their temperament.
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Conversely, how do men feel when they turn down a woman asking for ¥150,000, only for her to hurriedly say, “¥100,000 is fine after all”?
I ran into this situation last year. She asked for ¥150,000, but I didn’t think she was worth that much. So, intending to turn her down, I said I could only offer ¥100,000, hoping to end the negotiation. But then she said, “¥100,000 is fine,” and I felt awkward turning her down after that, so I went through with it…
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It’s up to you, so I think that’s perfectly fine.
One of the good things about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that you get to decide your own worth.
People have all kinds of opinions, and in many cases, papas want to pay as little as possible while women want as generous an allowance as possible. So just be prepared for the conversation to sometimes get pretty blunt.
If the offer falls below the standards you’ve set, I think it’s perfectly fine to turn it down.
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To begin with, I always present the total package—including the meal, hotel, allowance, time involved, and what the date entails—so I’ve never negotiated based on the allowance alone.
If the meal or hotel costs less, I put that toward the allowance. If I’ll be tied up for longer, I increase the allowance accordingly. Unless they specifically want to keep things short, I don’t recall ever failing to reach an agreement.
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Lately, there have been one bait-like question after another. Whenever I try to hide them, I find that they already have answers, so I leave them visible.
Please stop posting questions like that.
As for men, it really depends on the person.
If a man originally had ¥100,000 in mind and the woman says ¥150,000, but he’s the type who will try to make it work somehow, then if she says ¥100,000, he’ll probably agree. You could say the price negotiation worked.
However, quite a few men dislike that kind of back-and-forth. Even if the man says ¥100,000 and the woman says ¥150,000, then she comes back and says ¥100,000, some men will still turn her down, thinking they don’t want to date someone who negotiates that way.
Everyone is free to do as they please, but
it’s better not to haggle over the allowance.
Women sometimes contact the club saying things like, “He kept pestering me even after I said no, and it was difficult to deal with.” It’s embarrassing for a grown man.
Please try to conduct yourselves with more dignity.
I’d be happy if that became part of the membership requirements at Universe, but couldn’t someone be expelled for violating the rule that members must be gentlemen?
At this point, I feel it might be time for the club to say, “Even if you have money, we can’t introduce you to anyone,” much like Ferrari or Porsche would.
Though perhaps that would be difficult without creating a separate brand.
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I don’t have any either.
If we can’t agree on the amount I proposed, I say goodbye. No one has ever asked me to lower it on the spot, so I can’t say how I’d respond, but once someone messaged me later saying they still wanted that amount, I simply ignored it.
As I’ve mentioned several times, I also immediately cut things off if they ask for an increase. I assume they’re saying it because they’ve decided they’re okay with being rejected.
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